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the problem with this site is that when you are talking to someone online, you are not able to look them in the eyes. you can be blocked, the other person can leave in the middle of a conversation. and you never know exactly how someone feels when all you can see is this accursed type face, so I am going to level with everyone. I may come across as heartless, sociopathic, happy when I am truly crying. it is hard to see a life slip away while you are helpless to stop it. it is even harder when that life is your own.
I don't want to lose my friends again. but for some reason the theme reoccurs. logic would state that fighting a hopeless battle is a waste of time, but I can't let any of you go. I am trying, honestly, I am. I will be normal, I will not mess things up. just let me know that you will judge me for how I will be, not how I am now.
and let me know that even if you can't stand me now, you will support what I am doing so that I still have a chance and I am not doing all of this for no reason.