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This month's items are the Rock Puppy and Rock Hard!
 *love swoon sigh* <3
Sorry, I'm a sucker for skinny-yet-lean shirtless hotties. (PM ME PICS!!)
Right off the bat, I can't say that I'm, once again, in dire need of either of these items. If anything I feel both are well deserved to be introduced into Gaia. But let's see actually is worth investing in between the two. My money is on Rock Puppy just because.
Pet Rock, The Next Generation
The Rock Puppy has been around Gaia for as long as Gaia has been around. His removal from the site for the sake of layout sparked cries from fans wanting to know what happened to him. This was back in like 2004 or 2005 when I joined, and it was around then that we found out his name. Since then, Rock Puppy has had a cult following within the fan community a kin to that of the Kiki and Grunny fanbase.
Well, with much great respect, the time finally came to join the ranks of Kiki and Grunny Bunny. He is now a little puppy we can buy and own from the letters. I'll be honest, I was expecting for him to be coupled with the third generation of Gaia Cash Cards.
His default option is being carried by your avatar in both hands. It's similar to how you can hold the final form of Pora Ice. He's that heavy. If he is still too heavy for you to walk around with him, you can always just take a seat while in this option, which offers a really cute "secret pose" similar to Gwee. Oh, sure, the only change is the leg being positioned differently, but at least it sits in the space nicely.
Gold Sink continues the tradition of how most of the pet items on Gaia end up abusing their owner in the name of entertainment. Much like Grunny, Rock Puppy can't keep it in and will take time out for number 1 on your leg... OMFG!! HE PISSES GOLD!! HE PISSES GOLD!!!!!!11!11!1 Yeah, his urine is gold, but it's for show and not for our use. I wonder if Rufus knows that all this time I've been paying formy items with Rock Puppy piss.
Leap of Love is right out of the Mini Comics. As the name implies, the Rock Puppy is so happy to see you that he'll just jump at you with all his heart. Make sure you have a decent helmet or you'll be out for a week with a savere head injury. As I've stated in the past, these "frozen in time" poses aren't really something I like, but if you can make that work then more power to you. Frankly, I think we will be seeing a lot of cosplayers in the Arena next week going as said mini comics.
Much like Benny the Puppy, Rock Puppy knows how to beg. However, from a design aspect, it doesn't look like begging so much as leg humpping. Maybe it has something to do with the little heart that overs over Rock Puppy's head.
Hard Hat and LOL Hard Hat are the two options that cover Rock Puppy's membership into the On My Head club. Here, Rock Puppy ends up sitting on your head as a hat. LOL Hard Hat has him sticking his tounge out. What I find interesting about these options is the fact that Rock Puppy's changed shape. Not only has he gotten relatively bigger, but his underside apparently has taken the shape of our skull cap. I see this as the next Gaia Store hat to be made soon.
Visor Helm continues the new tradition started by the Evolution Items of pets and animals becoming armor and weapons. Rock Puppy displays his morphing abilities again by turning into a helmet that makes most of your head look like a Moai from Easter Island. With enough effort, you can come up with an outfit right out of a 70s or 80s sci-fi movie where the members of a galatic army worn something similar to this as a flight helmet. If you're not that creative, it makes a decent mask.
What pet isn't complete without its own happy little accident? Rock Puppy not only can piss gold, but he can drop a whopper of a duce for you to clean up! Coprolite (otherwise known as fossilized poo) and Coprolite on my head are the final two options Rock Puppy offers. You'll notice he isn't around for you to scold at for pooping on your head, which probably hurts like hell if he does it in the same manner birds do. The only ones that will probably find this humorous are the ones with a sense of humor that is in the toilet or fecalfeliacs.
Overall, while most of the poses are rather generic, the Rock Puppy finally got his dues and is now an official item for our avatars. If you are a fan, you've already got one and don't care about what I've said. If you have no idea who Rock Puppy is, you're a n00b.
The Devil May Rock!
I'm not to thrilled about this one, just so you know. It feels like it cators to a niche group of users. For the rest of us, it offers very little. But I'm going about this all backwards.
The default option is the much petitioned Demonic Mic. The design of this item is straight out of Metalocolpse, minus the sharp and pointy spikes of death. It's the blackest of all black items judging from how pronounced the form is against the white of the forum backgrounds. In an effort to keep the microphone from being just a generic bat mic, a deep red scrap of cloth is tied and flowing off of the stand. Wasn't there a hair band once that did that with silk scarfs? Could have sworn there was. I should point out that the microphone stands farther out than its Angelic counterpart, which leads to some very strange spacial errors if you wear shows that increase the height of your avatar like the pair included in this item or those found in the Punk Starter Set. Depending on your point of view, doing so will result in the microphone stand either floating from the ground or being planted on your foot.
The Spiked Armbands is what the SKA Wristband should have been but didn't have the balls to be. They take up the bulk of the forearm with three rows of spikes that come off it in a menacing manner. The results is a visual weight distribution that makes your avatars biceps look non-existent. Be careful what else you wear with these. Naturally, anything that has short sleeves or is a tank top will look great with this option, but don't expect to be wearing these with anything that takes up the jacket layer. Some gloves work with the armbands, but it's been hit or miss with the gloves I have in my inventory. The 90's gloves work great with it, however.
Skull Boots, as I've mentioned before, increases your avatar's height a little while taking the concept of Steel-Toe boots and making it metal. Basically, you get black leather boots that go as high as your crotch with skull-shaped steel toes. Wearing pants with these is kind of questionable. Anyone I've seen in real life that wears boots like these, be it that high or even knee-high, normally wears them on the outside with their pants tucked in or zipped up within the boot. Ever since the layering issue with the Jolly Boots, most users have never seen a pair of shoes layer over a pair of pants. For us male avatars, we don't really have much of a choice unless we actually dress in drag. Female avatars have a wide selection of skirts and other "pants" that actually let them show off just how high these boots go. Frankly, I would like an option added on where they layer on the outside, but I have a feeling I'm in the minority.
Skull Wings is starting to make me feel like the artists know the item they are making is going to suck unless they put some kind of wings with it to save it. That said, Skull Wings doesn't do that job very well. Not only are they just hovering over your avatar's shoulders, they don't even look all that evil when you consider the theme of the item! Hell, they look kind of cute. The Hell's Angels logo looks better than this, and it only has one "wing!" I'd advice against getting this item simply because it has wings unless you are a wing collector.
The Gee-tar you get with this item is so boring and generic I won't even comment about it at length. All I will say is that you're better off getting the Guitar of Demona or even Cary's Guitar.
The Drum Set looks like a Gaia House item come into the avatar space and will please any user who is a drums in real life. There's just one problem: no drumsticks. You can position your arms to make it look like you are playing the drums with drumsticks, but without them, you pretty much look like a fool. You can try and substitute a pair of Magician's Wand for them, as their color kind of matches the pallet of the drum set. And the best part is, it will only set you back 500 gold each, which anyone can make in about a day of playing Gaia Pinball like your Tommy. (I know what you're asking: Who's Tommy?) If you sit with the drums, it doesn't look as awkward as you would think. Remember, there are a lot of bands out there where the drummer actually does sit the entire time, so the fact that our avatar is standing should look odd to anyone who knows this simple fact. If you get this item for this option only, make sure you invest in the Magician's Wands like I said or else you'll be out a pair of drumsticks that will probably come out in the Cash Shop.
The Union Jack Top rounds out the options of Rock Hard. At first glance, the immediate question would be why the flag of the United Kingdom? Well, some have said that the origins of modern punk have their roots with the British. The United States nationalistic tendency is to claim modern rock came from Seattle or Detroit, but most of the punksters I've talk to in art school seem to like the British bands better, as well as the local underground ones. The second question that would be asked is if this option is intended for female avatars or not. By design, the immediate answer is "yes." It's long and dress-like with very thin shoulder straps. However, if you look at the visual history of rock bands, you'll find that kind of genderfication of clothing is irrellevent. Remember, this is the clothing from a subculture stereotyped and glorified for not washing any of their clothes and having as much sex and drugs as humanly possible. A worn-down, sleeveless Union Jack shirt that is so dirty the collar has expanded and lowered wouldn't be uncommon. If it still bothers you guys that it looks like you're wearing a dress, then by all means, go shirtless like that really hot Ian look-alike in the promotion art. heart
The bottom line is this: The only option worthy of being a Monthly Collectable--or Hell, even a Cash Shop Item at this point--is the default Demonic Microphone. Everything else feels way too generic for a Collectable. The shirt, armbands, and boots alone could be easily put in Moira's store along with some other variations of those like bladed armbands or boots with bats instead of skulls. The guitar is also better off as a Cash Shop Item, and a low priced one at that. The 99 cent bracket would be more than enough. Same goes for the Drum Set.
Now I know what you are thinking. How can I be so cruel when I gave such a favorible review of the items? That is because I looked at them as individual items. At this point in the review, I have to look back and critically analyze if the item as a whole is worth investing in. This is the first item I've every come across where I felt not only is the item not worth investing in, but it isn't even worthy of being given Collectible status simply because of how generic the options are.
If you really want this item, do yourself a favor and get only as many as you need. You can then get everything else from either other older Collectibles or from the stores, as I have pointed out. The maximum anyone should think about getting is five.
It's not a rock! It's a rock lobster!
On one hand, we have an item that caters to nostalgia and loyal users who grew to love the little scamp. On the other hand, we have an item that caters to a popular genere of music with items that are generic at best. Both are related to each other simply by the fact they use the same word to describe themselves while using different definitions of said same word.
And one of these item I feel would have been better off as Cash or NPC Store items. It doesn't take a ROCKet scientist to figure out which one I recommend.
 Zeek Slider · Tue Apr 15, 2008 @ 11:59pm · 4 Comments |
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