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{{My Mind}} my mind was like a locked gate. since drugs, its been open and pouring thoughts into my mind.

Community Member
my first entry State of Mind
at times i feel like i cant think so i turn to music to listen to see if itknows how i should think. but when that wasnt enough i turned to drugs and got addicted to cocaine and am constantly thinking know. but know that the gateway to my thoughts have been open i cant close them so my thoughts get pourd into my mind and its too much for me to take. so for that past 3 years ive been on a spiral down and am going insane while at the same time trying to kill myself every chance i get. and i feel like know that i opend the gates i will never be able to close them once more and that killing myself is the only way. but i make it seem like im fine to my friends and family. ive only shown my real self to the one who im madly in love with who happends to be my step sister but it only makes me worse because thoughts of never being with someone i love start to pour into my mind and its making me deppressed and my on going thoughts have caused me to slowly stop sleeping. and i feel theres no way to end this on going suffering

User Comments: [1]
-The Drug-
Community Member
comment Commented on: Mon Oct 01, 2007 @ 08:44pm
Killing yourself won't change that. You still won't be able to be with the person your madly in love with. I'm like that. I try to kill myself because the guy i'm madly in love with is too good for me. Stay alive for your friends if not your family.

User Comments: [1]
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