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"I don't think I should have another one."

"Coward."

"What?"

"You drink more than this when I'm not around, why are you going to stop now?"

"I know my limits. I would've thought that James Wilson would be glad that I've finally recognized that."

"So you know you aren't Superman. Congratulations."

"Well...I never said that."

"House, you are not Superman."

"Says who? Maybe I am, maybe I'm not."

"Superman has all kinds of superpowers. Do you have superpowers?"

"I'm very smart, aren't I? I'm the head of a department that specializes in solving things that others can't, am I not?"

"Solving medical mysteries hardly qualifies you as a superhero."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You aren't superhuman. You're just as vulnerable as I am."

"I don't think so."

"Why not?"

"Have you MET you? You're so...soft. And sensitive. I'm none of those things."

"Neither."

"What?"

"You said none there. You only listed two things, so you'd use neither, not none. I was correcting your grammar."

"Only you would worry about grammar while getting wasted."

"I am NOT wasted."

"Then why are you taking your pants off?"

"I'm not, I'm removing my second skin. It's irritating my legs."

"Uh huh..."

"..."

"I think if I'm Superman, you'd have to be Robin. You're like my little sidekick."

"Robin was Batman's sidekick, House."

"Isn't that what I said?"

"You said Superman."

"Yeah, because that's who I am."

"Then I can't be Robin. Robin is Batman's friend, not Superman's."

"How does that make sense? Robin looks more like Superman!"

"I don't know, that's just how it is."

"So what are you then?"

"I'm your kryptonite."

"..."

"Ah, so I've shut you up, have I?"

"I don't know whether to be glad that you just admitted in a way that I'm Superman or to slap you for saying that you make me weak."

"Come on, House. Even you agree that's the case. Don't even deny it."

"Don't deny what? I'm not following."

"You have a soft spot for me. Admit it."

"So what if I do?"

"Ah ha! I knew it."

"Is that so bad?"

"Not at all, it's just satisfying to hear you say it."

"You're crazy."

"No I'm not."

"Yes you are."

"No."

"..."

"House, what are you doing?"

"Getting up."

"Why?"

"I can't do anything on this side of the table."

"Oh so you're expecting me to move over for you?"

"Unless you want me to fall onto you...yes."

"Ugh, fine!"

"Thank you."

"Yeah yeah. What was the point of that again?"

"I couldn't hold your hand from that side of the table."

"...And why would you want to do that?"

"I don't know. Impulse?"

"...Our fingers fit together nicely. How have I never noticed that?"

"You've never let me hold your hand before."

"There was a reason for that, I think."

"Was there?"

"...I can't remember."

"..."

"House?"

"What?"

"Did you just kiss me?"

"Wow, are you really that wasted?"

"Well, I didn't think you ever would."

"Why not?"

"I've been your friend for twenty years. I've been throwing subtle hints in your direction for eighteen of those years and not once have you grown enough balls to make a move like that."

"So is that Wilson-speak for thank you?"

"No, that's Wilson-speak for I love you."

"Oh..."

"House?"

"What is it, Wilson?"

"I do love you, you know."

"Yeah, I know."

"You do?"

"Yeah. I love you too."

"...Really?"

"Yep."