So yeah...I did start that part one thing a while ago and figured I might as well update and at LEAST follow it up with a sequal. I mean, what's the point of putting "PART ONE" if there's never gonna be a part two ? That's just ******** stupid. So here it is. The almighty part two. Raise some hell.
So here I am still at dads. I really can't post a lot of what's going on, without being found by the FBI and being dragged away to some loony bin. Mainly concerning my mind. I'm not doing anything extremely illegal, no more illegal than any other teenager.Ya know, cutting school, drinking, smoking, etc. Nothing that really affects anyone but me. And I recently figured out I just don't care. I finally got MY computer up and running though, very happy about that. I'm making a band logo for my friend's band Savage Wasteland. They're still in the process but they're all really determined and stuff. So yeah...
It's kinda sad. I don't really have any desire to make friends here. I mean, the kids I met at school are alright, but everyone here is so....beyond the usual ignorance of humans, it's pathetic. I almost feel ..tainted. I'm afraid to be around them, because I know I'm just going to corrupt them. And not even in the partying, drinking, s**t, but the knowledge that there's more to life. Ignorance is NOT bliss. They don't see the real world. Hell I doubt they even see past graduating their junior year. It's like farmingdale all over again. And that town...well I wasn't always the happiest person there. Not that anyone knew that though. They all thought I was just another perky bubblehead like the rest of them. My class knew. Ohh they knew.
I guess people have always been a little afraid of me, and I used to be cold and way more disconnected. But I changed that, and I became bubbly, nice. Hyper and cred. I was social and outgoing, but I was never human. And everyone saw that. Guess that's half the pull to me with the new people here. Because even humans have a little bit of their primal instincts. Sure, they're only active in their subcoincious level, but they still feel that pull. Curiousity. They want to know, but their humanity holds them back. And I feel like s**t, because what am I supposed to do if someone gets too close and sees ? They'll open their eyes. See the world in a whole new light, and the infection will spread. I'm like a walking disease here, and as soon as someone catches on, this whole town will crumble.
So yeah...it sucks feeling like a walking plague. And there's nothing I can do. What, stay home all the time ? I'm already losing my mind here. The hallucinations have been getting so bad..and I ran out of weed. I can't even blame it on the drugs anymore. Channeling power is too difficult. I've been holding it up inside it's just been charging and now there's too much. I'm almost afraid of what's going to happen when it's released. Maybe it'll help me ? Possibly. I just know it won't help who ever I',m around. But they mean nothing to me, I'm mainly trying to stay unnnoticed. Which is a bit difficult in this ******** black and white town, when I've always glowed.
Been reading CTL+ALT+DEL and it's really good. I'm maybe half way through...so yeah. Google it. It's a great comic. One part that's been cheering me up anyway. I duhno....lately I just feel like well, I don't feel. That's the problem. I don't feel. Everything has just settled on this numb, and I know it;s wrong. I'm supposed to feel. I've always been emotion. Passion in ******** human form. Not human, but you know. And now it's just....nothing. I know it's still in there somewhere...just doesn't feel like coming out and dealing with being here, alone. So yeah. I'm pretty much dead. Sure I do stuff. Eat, and type and stuff. But I never sleep, and I just don't feel anything. It's weird. Meh. "Losing Myself" the song pretty much tells it all. I've got a few themes, but that one makes the most sense to me right now. Not even music gets a stir in me anymore, it's just background noise to pass the time. Heh. 420. Time to light up. I might write a part three. Maybe. Who knows.
So here I am still at dads. I really can't post a lot of what's going on, without being found by the FBI and being dragged away to some loony bin. Mainly concerning my mind. I'm not doing anything extremely illegal, no more illegal than any other teenager.Ya know, cutting school, drinking, smoking, etc. Nothing that really affects anyone but me. And I recently figured out I just don't care. I finally got MY computer up and running though, very happy about that. I'm making a band logo for my friend's band Savage Wasteland. They're still in the process but they're all really determined and stuff. So yeah...
It's kinda sad. I don't really have any desire to make friends here. I mean, the kids I met at school are alright, but everyone here is so....beyond the usual ignorance of humans, it's pathetic. I almost feel ..tainted. I'm afraid to be around them, because I know I'm just going to corrupt them. And not even in the partying, drinking, s**t, but the knowledge that there's more to life. Ignorance is NOT bliss. They don't see the real world. Hell I doubt they even see past graduating their junior year. It's like farmingdale all over again. And that town...well I wasn't always the happiest person there. Not that anyone knew that though. They all thought I was just another perky bubblehead like the rest of them. My class knew. Ohh they knew.
I guess people have always been a little afraid of me, and I used to be cold and way more disconnected. But I changed that, and I became bubbly, nice. Hyper and cred. I was social and outgoing, but I was never human. And everyone saw that. Guess that's half the pull to me with the new people here. Because even humans have a little bit of their primal instincts. Sure, they're only active in their subcoincious level, but they still feel that pull. Curiousity. They want to know, but their humanity holds them back. And I feel like s**t, because what am I supposed to do if someone gets too close and sees ? They'll open their eyes. See the world in a whole new light, and the infection will spread. I'm like a walking disease here, and as soon as someone catches on, this whole town will crumble.
So yeah...it sucks feeling like a walking plague. And there's nothing I can do. What, stay home all the time ? I'm already losing my mind here. The hallucinations have been getting so bad..and I ran out of weed. I can't even blame it on the drugs anymore. Channeling power is too difficult. I've been holding it up inside it's just been charging and now there's too much. I'm almost afraid of what's going to happen when it's released. Maybe it'll help me ? Possibly. I just know it won't help who ever I',m around. But they mean nothing to me, I'm mainly trying to stay unnnoticed. Which is a bit difficult in this ******** black and white town, when I've always glowed.
Been reading CTL+ALT+DEL and it's really good. I'm maybe half way through...so yeah. Google it. It's a great comic. One part that's been cheering me up anyway. I duhno....lately I just feel like well, I don't feel. That's the problem. I don't feel. Everything has just settled on this numb, and I know it;s wrong. I'm supposed to feel. I've always been emotion. Passion in ******** human form. Not human, but you know. And now it's just....nothing. I know it's still in there somewhere...just doesn't feel like coming out and dealing with being here, alone. So yeah. I'm pretty much dead. Sure I do stuff. Eat, and type and stuff. But I never sleep, and I just don't feel anything. It's weird. Meh. "Losing Myself" the song pretty much tells it all. I've got a few themes, but that one makes the most sense to me right now. Not even music gets a stir in me anymore, it's just background noise to pass the time. Heh. 420. Time to light up. I might write a part three. Maybe. Who knows.
