hmm..odd coming back to this months, and a hell of a lot more happiness after the fact.
but there are just a few things i would like to address from that journal entry i wrote quite a long time ago:
impolite is not: on the forward side and doesn't hesitate to state her opinion on stuff. People call this Impolite. it's more 'i don't care, ******** you, etc, etc.. i don't give a s**t about your feelings, i just want me to be happy. me, me, me, it's all about me so you can go shut up.' that is impolite. so by stating you're impolite i would be correct.
and Megan, Megan, Megan, was it not you who said i couldn't make it into Mayfield because i wasn't smart and or talented enough to succeed? Anyway, it's quite clear you think rather highly of yourself. Maybe more than some might think. And especially when it comes to people liek me.
And yes, yes you do move on to newer friends. i have proof of that from others, though true enough it isn't exactly 'proof' it's more, "yeah, you're right..i mean i think i was her best friend for a month before she moved on. hmm..it's weird that she just goes from person to person." and then you complain about having 'too many' friends after the fact. just stop, your complaining is getting old. you use people plain and simple.
and hmm..what was that thing about me. i hate being alone? so i'm not sure where the corrner comment came from.. confused maybe you've given this a little more thought then i have. i wonder..could you have an idea of me that's different form who i really am, even after all these years?
and yes, yes i did rip up that contract. One of the best things I’ve done. Unfortunately i didn't do it sooner. Damn. That’s my fault. You were a pretty good friend [I’ll admit] in grade four, maybe even part of grade five. And i guess you can have part of grade six as well. But after a while you get so cocky and annoying. Really it was my poor judgment. i always gave you the benefit of the doubt and fed into the "Megan, you're so great. Megan, you're so cool!!" ideal, and that again was my fault. Had i actually listened to people i would have said, "i'm sorry, but i just don't want to be your shadow anymore." and moved onto other people. But i didn't. You were okay a lot, so things were fine.
hmm..now have i lost track of what i was saying? Give me a minute to think. Ah yes, my point in sending this is to simply clear up some past problems, shed light on areas i left in the dark and end this for good. [so to speak].
There really aren't any bad feeling residing. i just don't want to be affiliated with you anymore. True i should have sent this so very long ago but i got sidetracked and am just now getting around to it. Sorry.
I hear you’ve been asking for the longest time why I don’t want to be your friend so I guess it’s time to clear that up [though I feel it’s quite obvious.]
- You use people. They really are just like dolls you collect, play with, then move on from; unfortunately you don’t tell them that. Too bad.
- You’re quite a bit more attention seeking than the average attention seeker and that’s just too much. You play it up like you’re normal but the truth is you should just lay off it a little. It’s fine to want everyone to care about you doing the most insignificant thing, but when you actually try to get people to care, well that’s not the best plan. [Some will resent you for it.]
- Giving opinions= good. However making people listen all the time=bad.
- Accepting something that people tell you about yourself isn’t the right thing to do. If person ‘a’ says to person ‘b’ “you’re selfish” person ‘b’ shouldn’t respond with “I know” and then just go about what they were doing. They were told that so they could go about fixing it, thus making them better equipped for life.
- Your grass isn’t always greener, so please stop trying to overshadow people with your Astroturf.
- And lastly, [and most informally] you’re not a tomboy. You don’t even come close. I’m sorry to have to be the one to tell you but it’s true. You had a boyfriend, you went to dances with guys, and you really are quite the girl. Sorry, but i have people backing me up on that one.
Anyway, I hope that brightens things up in some areas. And I hope you take things into consideration. And please don't he hastling mutual friends about "why doesn't she like me?" becaus ei made it clear. and there's no need for anymore "on, i'll go commit suicide now." because you know this doesn't really matter all that much. we don't talk, and we don't 'miss' eachother. So really this is just old stuff. think of it as a letter that got lost in the mail.
.tah, tayl.
.!conoclast. · Sun Jul 30, 2006 @ 03:15am · 8 Comments |