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So, it's been about a month or so since I last wrote, and that was for the sake of tradition and keeping a memory alive, so I figure I'll write some more. It's been a pretty loaded month.

First of all, at the beginning of the month I was incredibly depressed. The last few months have been pretty hard on me in general I guess. Between stress from work, losing a best friend, and my overall sense of loneliness, it was all really starting to come down on me. My suicidal thoughts had begun to take hold of me again and they had become more and more frequent as time passed. I was genuinely starting to lose any and all hope, and then something wonderful happened.

If you remember me writing a long time ago about a game called Graal Online, you'll remember I mentioned the server I spent most of my time on: Unholy Nation. See, Unholy Nation had been such a major part of my early teenage years and just part of my growing up in general, and I always felt bad about leaving the server so suddenly when I did. Unfortunately, however, the server had been through a significant amount of drama and other high profile activity that it caught the attention of the global moderators, and they had it shut down. I was absolutely devastated when I had finally come back to Graal after all those years only to find that my server, my home, had been taken away. Fortunately, that was all about to change.

It was mid July and I was at work. I remember the Discord server for Graal that I had been on for a little over a year now was beginning to buzz with activity. Everyone was mentioning the same thing: Unholy Nation was back. I honestly couldn't believe my eyes. I thought someone was just playing a cruel joke on us again. I confirmed via a few screenshots from users on the discord that the server was, in fact, back on the server list. I was absolutely shocked. From then on I couldn't want to get off work so I could finally see my beloved home server again with my own eyes, and sure enough, I did.
It took me a moment to take everything in. I logged back in. I had fully expected to have had all of my stats and items reset as well since the server had only just showed up again. I figured this was a fresh start. But it wasn't. Everything was still there. It was as if I'd never left. I logged back in in the exact spot that I had logged out from so many years ago. It was so surreal. Like stepping into a time capsule from over a decade ago. I was absolutely euphoric. On top of the world, even.

I know it sounds odd for me to say this, but Unholy Nation was a huge part of my life. It felt like being reunited with a part of my soul. The reappearance of this server has since set me down a new path of optimism and self improvement. My mood has drastically improved. I've started working out again. I'm even trying to eat a little better or at least in less excess. I'm really trying to get myself into better shape so I can feel even better. Hopefully with any luck things will continue to look up in the future. My whole outlook is changing, and I'm genuinely trying to be a more positive person. It's like I was given a chance to start over, and I'm definitely taking it.

It just feels so good to have this server back. It feels good to be home.
I'll write more soon. There's been a lot going on lately.