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Lord, it's been some time since I've written here. I'm sure nobody will ever read this except for myself anyway, but here I go.
I wanted to write about a word I recently discovered. It's my new favorite word: hiraeth. Hiraeth is an old Welsh term, often used to describe a sense of nostalgia, or homesickness. Another meaning of the word refers to the longing to return to a home to which you cannot. This feeling is not limited to physical places, either, but may also include things felt for certain individuals whom you once held dear, or perhaps still do. Such a feeling has been the very basis of my existence for so many years now, and I myself have scarcely been able to put it into words, until now. How fortunate, as well, that it should be such a beautiful and poetic sounding word as "hiraeth."
You see, much has happened in the years since I've written, and once again like the romantic fool that I have always been I have so foolishly spilled all of my feelings out over yet another unfortunate soul who had become the object of my utmost adoration and affection. Sadly, as all things do...Everything has its time, and everything ends. I find myself once more adrift in the confines of my own mind, with nothing but this feeling, this longing, this hiraeth to keep me company.
I still don't very well know how to put these feelings into words, but I suppose I have nothing left to lose in attempting to do so.
I have long considered myself to be an outsider. Over the years I have called many places home, but were sadly as ephemeral as anything of this world would be. You see, life tends to happen, as do distractions. Over time, my gaze has shifted back and forth from one place to another, and I found myself straying away from these places I had come to call my home, only to return some time later to find nothing left. And so, I drift onward.
I have yet to be able to find a place of residence as "permanent" as any of the others in which I had taken over the years, however. I continue to drift, aimlessly, as my sentiments continue to get the better of my thoughts.
I don't really know why I decided to write all of this, but I suppose it was for no other reason than to find an outlet of sorts. Perhaps in the hopes that someone may read it and feel some sort of sympathy, I'm not entirely sure anymore.
Still, I may decide to ramble on at another point.
Until then, I shall continue to drift.