Morning rouse slowly, and Sara wasn't sure she wanted to move. She felt drained, and there was still a tiny part of her that any moment this fragile dream would shatter. She lets go of her only companion as she slowly opens her eyes. It was starting to become a sense of relief when she found herself still on the ship. How much time had past, a few weeks now, she wasn't sure. Still, she could feel her heart pounding as she lays there, looking up at the steal lining of the ship above her. She didn't want to go back. Sure there were a few items she wished she had with her. But deep down she wasn't sure how much longer she could put up the brave face. She was alone, she had carved out her own space, a job she hated, and for what? She always pondered the idea of marriage, but she had to be honest with herself. No one would be interested, or worse, assume she would play the 'housewife' so to speak. The idea made her head hurt as she slowly allows herself to sit up. Everything hurt, she hated this feeling. It was a slow, sinking feeling of self-destruction, that only got worse the longer she remained still. It felt like everything around her was moving far to slowly. It takes a few minutes to get dressed before running her hand through her hair. She slowly makes her way down to the small mess hall and decides against breakfast. She was far from hungry at the moment. Instead she turns and heads down the hall to a closed door. She knocks lightly and waits. "Enter." Maxson was slowly waking up as he grabs his morning coffee. Sure it tasted like crap but it still woke him up. What he would give for some sugar. He rises his head when his door opens and closes. He turns to see her standing there, but something was off. There was a dull lifeless look to her eyes as he rises and walks over to her, forcing her to take a seat before she fainted or something. "Speak to me, what happened?"
His mind was going over every possible thing as she slowly shakes her head. "Nothing...sorry, I shouldn't be bothering you.." She half moves to rise, but he keeps her seated. Even her voice lacked the normal ring it had to it. Maxson leans in as he looks at her closely. Something was going on here. He decided to use his more 'authority' toned voice on her. "Knight, I need you to speak to me..." She takes a moment to collect herself. She had no idea where to even start, or even what to tell him. She hangs her head a bit as she lets out a defeated sigh. But she was battling herself, her depression acting as a weight. Telling her he wouldn't care. No one did, it was just a joke. To 'get over it'. How many times had she heard that? "I never gets easier..." She spoke so softly as he pulls up a chair. "I've always had this problem, for how long, God I think I lost track..." She takes a slow deep breath. "I don't talk about it much, I got to used to people telling me to simply get over it..." Her eyes narrow a bit as she slowly looks at him. "There's some...bitter part of me that fears that...all this, is nothing more then some...delusional dream. That the minute I open my eyes, it'll all just disappear. That everything will just go back to the way it was...and I just don't know I have what it takes to find the will to move forward when it does...." Maxson was speechless, she sounded so broken. She hid this demon well and it was slowly dragging her down. He doesn't think as he takes a hold of her and she jolts as he looks into her eyes. "You're a strong woman, and your not alone anymore.."
She doesn't say anything at first, her eyes searching his. "I..can't imagine, what your going through, but you need help, and you sitting here shows you want that.." He watches her closely as she shuffles in her spot. "I'm not going to tell you to...'get over this'. I don't know who told you that, but if I find them I'll strangle them myself." She lets out a weak laugh at this as she slowly gives him a smile. "I can picture you doing that...thank you, I know half of what I say doesn't always make since. I was never really good with...my words." She gives him a small shrug. "So I often just come out as annoying, or far to energetic. Of you know I just turn into a rambling mess..." Maxson slowly smirks as she slowly seems to be working her way through. It pained him to see her so, low. Last thing he wanted was to get word that yet another soldier had pulled the trigger to end their pain. He suddenly frowns at the thought, realizing that she had already admitted to coming close to that edge. Still there was some hope if she was here now, seeking him out. "You not a rambling mess.." She tilts her head to the side. "Now your just trying to butter me up.." He could feel his heart pounding, but he sees her giving him an honest smile. "It must sound...strange, I reached a point to know how...depression works. But it just seemed like no matter how hard I tried to reach out, it was never...serous enough.." She watches him knit his brows, if he ever found this person, they were going to be a dead man. "That...sounded bad didn't it?" He wanted nothing more then to pull her into his arms. He wasn't sure, but he finally seems to move and pulls her into his chest.
She blinks at this, but slowly sinks into him. The embrace was innocent enough, but it meant the world to her. He just wanted to hold on for as long as he could. But he knew deep down things would get rolling and people would start to wonder where he was. "I want you to speak to Cade. He can help you..better then I can..." She looks up at him and nods. He gives her a firm squeeze before letting her go slowly. "Don't ever feel, you have no where to go on this ship.." He took this sort of thing, very seriously after all. No matter who worked for him, he always did what he could to look out for his fellow brother and sisters. If she honestly needed help, he would open that door for her. "Thanks...I'll go talk to him, but I do feel a bit better." He lets out a low sigh at this, as if a giant weight had been lifted. "Good, take some time, if you don't feel ready to work, then take the day off." She blushes as she nods again, slowly stepping back. She lowers her head a bit as she turns and walks out of his room without another word. He watches her leave, deep down he really hoped she would be alright. The rest of the day continued normally. Nate and Danse had returned with the magnets they needed. Ingram and Doctor Li didn't waste any time into putting the new parts to good use. It would still take some time to get everything in place so work continued on at a good pace. Sara did feel a hell of a lot better after speaking to Cade. He was a good soul that listened to her closely. Even he suggested to just take the day off and relax. So that's what she was doing.
Sitting in the mess hall, her leg resting on a chair as she sits back. Talking to him help ease some of the weary off of her shoulders. She couldn't tell him everything, but it was enough to help her feel lighter. He gave her some helpful advise and told her if she ever felt like this again, to come take to him right away. Her eyes flutter open as Nate joins her and she gives him a small smile. "you're back, how did it go?" He sinks into his chair as he leans his head back. "We found the magnets, Ingram says it'll be a few days before Liberty Prime is completely put together. I'm surprised your not down there helping." She lets out a low laugh. "I am, taking the day off. I gotta keep reminding myself I don't always have to kill myself. You can't beat free rent.." Nate laughs at this and nods. "No kidding, it is nice to not have to worry about such things. I take it you didn't really have a place of your own.." She lets out a low sigh at this. "I did, but after my friend died, I couldn't keep up with the payments. I could have gotten another roommate, but I just couldn't bring myself to do so..." Nate could understand that feeling. "I get it.." He looks up to see Danse as he slowly turns and heads off to get back to work. Nate shakes his head slowly as he closes his eyes. "Taking a day off sounds wonderful though, I'm game." She chuckles at this, but she didn't mind the company. In fact it made things just a bit better.
Somehow, after lunch a card game breaks out and Danse soon joins them. It was like their own circle of people. Even Paladin Floss joined in and she found this was the most relaxed she's been in a very long time. She had closed herself off to making friends after she moved. She had learned the hard way that thinking someone was a friend, and then actually being one. Where two different things completely. But these were good people, and she honestly enjoyed their company. She even got a chance to catch up with Jeff as he goes on about how his training was going. The guy was overly excited because he would finally be flying his own Vertibird. He was just buzzing with energy, Paladin Floss made a passing joke on how the young could power the ship for years to come. Sara couldn't help but laugh. "I...don't miss those days, where your brain is just to wired to sleep.." She blinks as she looks up. "I still have that problem. I forget the word for it, but my mind works better during the night..." The older Paladin lets out a low huff. "Been there, done that, the wife still complains about it." There was a small round of laughter. "What sucked though, was it started when I was still going to school. It was so hard to wake up at fife in the morning, because I couldn't sleep..." She hangs her head a bit. "I was so tired...all the time, but as it turns out it's just some weird chemical imbalance. The human brain is a jerk!" Nate places his hand on her shoulder. "I think it's interesting that you actually got to go to school. Not many people out here get that chance.."
She blushes a bit as she leans her head to the side. "Where I lived, there was no choice. Guess they really wanted to use my generation as an example that the future wasn't a complete loss. Boy did they fail!" Paladin Floss shakes his head at this. "Oh I think you did just fine, you landed yourself here with us after all." They all nod at this as she smiles brightly. "Yeah, I was more thinking on all those countless girls that got knocked up for the hell of it.." Poor Jeff starts to cough on his drink. "What?" She shakes her hands as Maxson slowly wonders through. He had managed to catch up on most his work. He just wanted to make sure she was okay as he watches her. "Oh yeah, it was a huge problem. I don't really know what started it, but these young girls got it into their minds that in order to keep their current boyfriends was to get pregnant. On purpose.." Jeff gives her a confused look as he looks to the others around him. "I feel like I'm missing something here, how do you do something like that on purpose." Nate had a good idea, even Paladin Floss, but even Danse was at a loss here as she explains. "It's rather simple, there are way to prevent surprises, pills, things like that. I would listen in on some of the other girls on how they lied about taking them and such..." The poor man was quickly turning pale. "But why though, at such a young age?" She gives him a helpless shrug. "They honestly believed it would be enough to force their partners into a permanent relationship. As you can imagine, it didn't always pan out.."
She just watched as this poor guy looked even more confused as she shakes her head slowly. "Teen-aged girls are ruthless, like to the point I often wondered if I was one because I was so level headed..." They got a few laughs. "It was...a very odd experience, because a lot of girls really thought I was dating my friend Ty. And I had to sit there and go...noooo he's gay, but they just didn't seem to get it." She rolls her eyes a bit. "What's to understand, the man likes other men, it's not that complicated. But for some unknown reason it was like the expected me to change his mind..." Her brows knit at this as she hold up her hand. "That's not how that works, just like that tiny brain of yours, hello." Nate laughs at his as he sighs. "Yeah, I don't miss that either, but she is right, teen girls are brutal..." She holds out her hands to him. "Thank you, see he gets it!" There was another round of laughter. They departed after awhile, she looks up to chance Maxson. He looked, generally pleased as he steps to the side and heads down the hall. It takes her a minute, but after awhile she gets up to follow after him. Once alone he places his arms behind his back. "It pleases me to see your in better spirits.." She blushes as she looks down. "Talking to Cade helped, as well as just taking it easy...like I said I don't often remember that I'm allowed to take some time off and not panic that I might not be able to afford food you know?" He takes a step forward as he reaches out to her. He once again finds himself unable to keep himself back. She feels herself shiver as he places his hand behind her head. His eyes held a storm waiting to break through. She steals herself, but she knew she was blushing deeply.
She wasn't sure what to expect, but he goes with just pulling her against him once again. He seemed far more content to having her where he can keep his eyes on her. It never crossed her mind that it might had caused him to worry about her. She just wraps harm arms around him, enjoying his warmth. That and she had to admit, he smelt like heaven. She had no idea what he used, but she loved it. He tightens his hold on her as he brushes his noes into her hair. "I didn't mean to worry you.." She blinks as he brings his hand up to tilt her head up. That look was, just as the same as before. Though now it didn't seem like he had any clue what to say. He was still struggling with how he felt for this woman. Seeing her broken shifted something in his mind. "I was worried...yes, mostly because I didn't really know how to help." He already lost one person he cared about, he couldn't go through it again. Not when he was still exploring whatever this was between them. She keeps her eyes on him as she gives him a small smile. "This helps.." He turns his head just slightly, but he just nods as he embraces her. "I don't want you to feel you can't come to me, or anyone else when you feel...lost. We might be military, but that doesn't make us heartless." She could feel the vibration in his chest as he spoke. "I know...thanks for talking some sense to me.." He lets out a low laugh as he softly places a small kiss on the top of her head. It was a small repayment for when she had done that to him."It's what I'm good at..."
She couldn't help but let out a low giggle as she looks up at him. "Why, is the tough Elder going soft for little ol' me?" He lets out a low sound as she smiles brightly. She could never quite help herself on teasing him. She was playing with fire here, seeing how tightly he held her. He wasn't sure what to say to that. It was kind of interesting to see his eyes go from different emotions. He really was new to all of this. She lightly places her hand on his. "It's not a bad thing you know.." He lets out a low sound. "It's...not easy. I'm your superior officer, some people might get the wrong idea about.....this.." He had to be careful here. He still had an image to hold onto, so he was battling himself against, just about everything. "Ah, fraternizing, but you said yourself the Brotherhood is open to what may happen..." His eyes slowly seem to shift. "That goes for you as well you know. Sure I can imagine what people may think, but you are free to make your own choices. No one can take that from you.." He gives her a strange look, before it slowly melts away. "I...still need time.." She nods as she looks up. "And that we have, now, you might want to let go, because I'm rather tempted to just continue to let you hold me.." He didn't seem willing to let go, not yet at least. Maybe he was growing soft, was that really such a bad thing? "I suppose a fair warning is in order that I...kind of like this sort of thing.." He wasn't to sure what she meant. "I like to cuddle okay, there, no you know why I don't like sleeping alone, I like to hold onto things." He lets out a husky growl. "I'll keep that in mind." She shivers again, still wondering what she was getting herself into.
