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Pumpkinella's Journal
i just put random stuff in here
quizzes for december
Your Strength: Curiosity. Your Weakness: Impulsiveness.

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You are an innovative and progressive person. There's a whole big world out there, and you're interested in every part of it.
You embrace change. You like being outside of your comfort zone, and you're always ready to mix things up.

It's hard for you to stay still for too long, even if you have a good thing going. You can be impulsive to the point of reckless.
You hate routine, and you can be quite undisciplined. You don't do well with authority... you're a rebel!

What Are Your Strengths and Weaknesses?

Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!i consider being impulsive a strength actually if i didn't have it i probably wouldn't have this much fun!

You Like the Holidays

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You definitely have a good time during the holidays, but you aren't obsessed with them or anything.
You shop for a few presents and participate in a few traditions... but that's it!

You may be accused of being a grinch, but you're simply not a fanatic about holiday traditions - especially commercial ones.
You get into the spirit of the season by being kind, compassionate, and not clogging up the stores!

How Much Do You Love the Holidays?

Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

What kind of Muscle Car are You? (pics)
1968 Chevrolet Camaro Z28

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You are a 1968 Chevrolet Camaro Z28. You love your car....your friends love your car and thats whats most important to you! Your car really hauls a**! You feel bad that they aren't making Camaros anymore....but don't worry...cuz you know they'll be back!

You Would Be a Fun Santa

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In your opinion, Christmas is all about the kids. You love the magic and joy it brings to them.
You love to spoil children with gifts, even if they aren't your own kids. You remember how exciting Christmas morning was when you were a kid.

You think that a spirit of generosity and innocence are nice. It's all about how much you give.
You think that needy and pushy adults are naughty. You hate it when people ruin the holiday for the kids.

The Santa Hat Quiz

Blogthings: We're Not Shrinks, But We Play Them On the Internet

You Are Christmas Day

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You are a kid at heart. You are easily delighted, and it's hard for you to wait for the good things in life.
A present or two always brightens your mood, and you love being surprised.

You are a very energetic and impatient person. You spend many weeks dreaming of Christmas morning.
You are easily contented. It doesn't take much to make you feel warm, cozy, and happy.

Are You Christmas Eve or Christmas Day?

Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist^well duh im still only 14 wink

from mylifeisaverage.com:
About a week ago, my phone was stolen. I was a bit upset about this until it was casually placed back with my things. When I turned it back on it greeted me with "Hello, Pansy Parkinson! " I was confused until I looked through all my contacts and they were all Harry Potter names. I've had conversations with Lavender Brown, Ginny 'n Ron Weasley, and my voicemail is now Dobby. I'm not changing it back. MLIA

Today, I wore a big black hoodie into English. My english teacher calmly asked me to remove my dementor's cloak. I challenged him by say that muggles can't see dementors. He pulled a wand out of his pocket and whispered "Shhh, I'm trying to keep it a secret." And then proceeded to offer me 3 galleons in exchange for my silence. I accepted. MLIA

Today, a girl walked up to me and while looking shocked asked me what happened to my leg (I have a large birthmark mid shin) I told her: "I got a skin graph from a black guy." Right then a black person I had never met before walked by saying "Its true, I saved his life." We high fived as he walked past. MLIA

A few weeks ago, my boyfriend bought me a bag of 100 tiny, plastic zombies. Every since then, I've strategically placed them around my school, sending my friends on missions to spread the plague further. Now nearly every classroom is full of tiny zombies, and only 2 teachers have noticed. Well done, tiny zombie army. Well done. MLIA
so wanna try it^

My friend has lights in her basement that go off at certain loud sounds. Earlier, we had jokingly named it "the gaydar" because it went off every time one of our guy friends talked. When they put on the Twilight movie, the gaydar lit up every time Edward talked. MLIA

Today, I was listening to an overcompensating idiot go on about how large his p***s was when he said "My d**k is so long that if I laid it on a keyboard, it would reach from A to Z!" It took me 15 minutes to stop laughing enough so I could tell him that the A and Z keys are less than an inch apart. It got him to shut up. MLIA.

Today I realized that according to mylifeisaverage the average person loves Harry Potter but hates twilight, uses facebook instead of myspace, loves google but hates yahoo, puts silly answers for tests and gets full credit for it, listens rock and not rap, wears dinosaur clothing instead of the boring jeans with a t-shirt and waits for their Hogwarts letter sent by their owl not for a 108 year old sparkly pale virgin vampire. Glad to see the average person is on the right path. MLIA
i love these ppl so much^

Today in the car I passed by a stop sign. Someone had painted the words "don't" and "believin" on the sign so it now read "Don't STOP Believin". I smiled. MLIA

Today, my friends and I had swiped a lock that had been left unlocked on one of the lockers. So, during English, one of my friends fell asleep, so we put the lock through his belt loop and around the metal pole of the desk, thus locking him to the desk. He didn't notice until he woke up and attempted to sit up, only the realize he was stuck. The teacher was too busy laughing to get mad at us, even as they had to get a janitor to cut the lock off since no one knew the combination. MLIA

I was in English class, listening to a conversation about twilight going on behind me. Most of the words comming out of the girls mouth were "Robber Pattinson", "Hot", and "Vampire". From this point, they went on to complain about all the people who liked Harry Potter better than Twilight. I thought I was getting annoyed, when my teacher threw her chalk to the ground and walked over to the girls behind me."I guess your not aware, but Robert Pattinson was a wizard way before he was a vampire, and he was so much hotter then." On the way back to the front she recieve 3 highfives, and a hug. MLIA.
oh i want that teacher for my english class XD^

Today, I had a test in Spanish. One question was "que esto es?" which meant "what is this?" I decided to put a joke answer because my grade was good in that class. I put "esto....es....SPARTA!!!!" After class, my teacher high-fived me and bought me lunch. MLIA
also want that spanish teach ^

Today, in my Dramatics class, we read a line from a play that had the word "celibacy" in it. A pregnant girl in our class raised her hand and asked what that meant. Mr. Wasowski just laughed and continued with the play. MLIA

Today, A song I had never heard came on the radio in the car. My dad, who was driving, told me he would give me five dollars if I could guess who wrote the song. I told him to give me a second to figure it out. After a few moments, I guessed right. My dad was in awe. The radio in the car shows the song title and the artist who sings it. I win. MLIA

Today, I was babysitting my 4 year old cousin. As her mom left she said, don't let her watch Harry Potter, she talks with a british accent for the next week. Needless to say, I let her watch Harry Potter. MLIA

Today on the subway I yelled out "AVADA KEDAVRA!" Two people screamed, one fell over, another one faked a heart attack, and a toddler started crying. Everyone though it was planned; we were applauded. MLIA
i wanna try that^

Today, after a field trip to my local pizzaria/arcade, I proudly rode back to school with a plastic ninja sword. While sitting in my classroom later that day, a jokingly hit a friend in the forehead with my sword, only to find my teacher point at me, and motion for me to come out to the hall. I did, thinking I was in trouble. I was ambushed by my teacher with a sword of his own, and we proceeded to duel in the hallway. I won. MLIA.

I had just come home from College for Thanksgiving break to visit my family. I have long hair(I am a boy) and was showing off my recently pierced ear. All 5 of my sisters were teasing me about how I looked just like a girl. Saddened, I sat down next to my grandma. She gave me a hug and said "Robbie, if those girls keep teasing you, just go ahead and hit them with your purse."MLIA

Today, my longest lasting relationship ended. I went to a football game that night and told my friend what he did. She suddenly yelled "b***h WHERE'S HE AT!?!?" then proceeded to attack him with a random banana she pulled out of her jacket. This made my day so much happier. MLIA

Today I went to get my nose pierced. I was kinda leery about the man doing it because he was somewhat scary looking, until I glanced over at his computer and saw that Farmville was on the screen. I became more comfortable with him after seeing this. MLIA

Today my 12 year old brother successfully took off his underwear without taking off his pants. That kid will go far in life. MLIA
O_o dude is that even possible^

Today I was at the mall and walked by Aeropostale. I saw the mannequins dressed in new winter entire for Christmas. There was one little boy mannequin and i thought to myself when did Aeropostale start selling kids clothing. The little boy mannequin winked at me and continued posing to trick other shoppers. MLIA.

Yesterday, my boyfriend broke up with me. As the jerk he is, he decided to throw a party with everyone at school except me. When I told my dad he was upset for me. Being a police officer, I've always thought he was pretty cool. Guess who crashed Dylan's party? He even took me with him. My dad rocks. MLIA

Yesterday, I was at swim practice when I found a tiny mouse on the edge of the pool shivering and soaking wet. I called to my coach, who scooped the mouse into a cup and said he'd "take care of it." I thought he was just going to let it go, but when I showed up to practice today, I found that he had named the mouse "Bouy," made a home for it, and christened it our team mascot. MLIA.

Yesterday, my best friend and I were getting on the bus. A group of guys ended up sitting next to us, and began to talk REALLY loudly about their exaggerated and disturbing sex stories. Being annoyed, I looked to my friend and said, "You know what, my period has been giving me SO much trouble." My friend agreed and we continued to describe the blood and gore. They soon fell silent. MLIA.

Today in English I fell asleep on top of my Transformers backpack. When I woke up, I had Optimus Prime imprinted onto my forehead. My teacher was too busy taking pictures to care that I had missed the entire lesson. MLIA

The other day, I read an MLIA about a piece of paper being passed arround the classroom saying "I am an alien that has mutated into this piece of paper and am now having sexual intercourse with your hands. You know you like it because you're smiling." I decided to try this at my school, and somehow it ended up on my teacher's desk. I pointed out the fact that she was smiling, and she was literally on the floor laughing. Therefore she could not give me a detention. I <3 you, Alien. MLIA

Last week while taking a history test I got distracted by two squirrels outside on a tree that were slapping each other. I watched the two of them until the bell rang for the end of class, and ended not finishing the essay question. So instead of asking if I could stay after school to finish it I quickly scribled down "Stupid squirrels gone and distracted me, sorry." Today I got my test back, and saw that I had been given full credit for the essay portion. My teacher even wrote a note saying. "They distracted you too?! You're not the only one. Stupid squirrels." MLIA

Today, a new restaurant opened up in my town. It's called Pho King Way. My sister's Vietnamese friend says that "Pho" is pronounced "Fu". No one could understand why I couldn't stop laughing. MLIA

Today I went to visit my dad at the Air Force Base where he's a Lieutenant Colonel in the Air Force. I had to stop at the command post and present my military ID before I was allowed to drive onto the base. As I waited, the enlisted army soldier at the checkpoint made small talk with me and asked who my father was. I told him and drove to my dad's building not thinking anything of it. When I arrived in my dad's office he said "It seems you made quite an impression on the guy at the command post, he just called here asking my permission to take you out." I asked my dad what his reaction was and he replied, "I gave the kid your number...any enlisted man who would call a Lieutenant Colonel and ask for his daughter's number has balls and deserves some sort of reward." I love my dad. MLIA

Today, me and some friends were sitting in the hallway after lunch at school. We saw four senior guys having a piggy back race running down the hallways and heard a teacher yell at them "stop!" but they just continued racing. 30 seconds later three of the four boys came back. The fourth boy was replaced by one of the teachers. MLIA

Today I went to the movie theater with some friends. Before going, we were deciding which movie to see. My mom suggested we go see New Moon because it's such a popular film. Immediately, my dad says "you mean that movie about the sparkly gay vampire fairy?". I'm proud of you dad. MLIA.
sparklgay vampire fairy with the poofy hair is my new name for him^

Today, while on a road trip with my brother, we decided to stand on the side of the road with our thumbs out, like hitchhikers. No one stopped. Then my brother bought a chainsaw from Wal-Mart and stood out on the side of the road with it. Three cars stopped and asked if he needed a ride somewhere. I love my brother. MLIA
^in what world does that make sense to do?

On Halloween, I was late to one of my classes and was walking as quick as I could. All of the sudden a senior ran passed me wearing a gold costume and flapping his arms furiously like a bird. I thought nothing of it. A second later, seven other seniors dressed in yellow and black Quidditch uniforms ran by me on brooms. MLIA

A couple days ago, there was a very fancy dinner with the University President, all the execs, people on the board, etc... And I was in the lobby reading some MLIA on my laptop when I hear a voice behind me say "scroll down to the bottom, that's the best one!" so I did and laughed out loud, when I looked behind me to see who it was I saw the university president. Guess who now has a mentor and six job interviews lined up for after I graduate. MLIA.

Today, I was in health class and I got really bored. I picked up my pen and slid it back and forth across the table making car sounds. I pretended it was the batmobile. I crashed it into my binder, threw it in the air and made crashing and screaming noises. I then looked up realizing the whole class was silent. They were all staring at me. I shrugged and continued playing with my pen batmobile. MLIA

Today, while cleaning my bathroom, I was dancing along to single ladies, when I turned around I found that my older brother had been watching me. Feeling dumb I stopped and continued cleaning, he then got up, said "your doing it wrong" and proceeded to show me how to dance like beyonce. He's 21. Best. Brother. Ever. MLIA.
^lmao can i replace my bro wit him?

The other day in English class, nobody could remember what the word imperious meant. I quickly raised me hand and explained to the class that it was just like in Harry Potter how the imperious curse controlled people, and therefor the word meant controlling. My teacher then informed us that's just one more way Harry Potter is going to help us in life, and we should all read it. MLIA.

Today, in Spanish class, we were about to watch a movie. When my teacher turned on the TV, there was another show on. Almost instantly, the whole class yelled "DRAGON TALES!" I'm glad to know 12th graders still watch PBS Kids. MLIA
in my eighth gr class we sang the dragon tales theme song^

Two months ago, a friend of mine told me he was going to drop the German class we were both in. I told him to stick with it because if you speak German loudly, you sound angry and intimidating. He's still taking German just for that reason. MLIA

Today, I was at the movie theater watching New Moon. When Bella told Jacob she loved him, the old man behind me yelled "YOU TWO-TIMER!" MLIA.
this explains how bella can be pregnant^

Today, I found out that while I was sleeping last night, my mom came in my room to get a pillow i had borrowed from her. As she was tugging the pillow, I proceded to wave my arms and scream loudly, then jump out of bed and punch her in the nose, all while still sleeping. I then layed back down and continued my rest. Guess who's surviving if an intruder ever breaks in? MLIA

Yesterday, my phone rang in science class. A bit embarrassed by my ring tone (the Phineas and Ferb theme song) i quickly tried to shut it off. My teacher screamed "STOP!" and resumed to sing every word perfectly, then excused me from class and went on like nothing happened. I love science. MLIA
^this is why i dont like catholic skool public skool has all th awesum ppl

A couple weeks ago, I was taking a quiz in Biology. Nobody does well in her class and I though i did a terrible job on the quiz so I drew a ninja and wrote "This is a test ninja. He protects all my bad answers from the red pen of doom." She respectively laughed wrote on it folded it up and gave it back to me. When i sat down and read the paper i realized it said, "Aha! You have made a fatal error. You are powerless against the blue pen of annihilation." New Favorite Teacher. MLIA

Today, i met my new room mate and i was disappointed when she took out a Jonas Brothers poster, until i saw that she also had a package of darts with her. Any face is bullseye. I think we are going to get along.

Today, I got a nosebleed in the cinema. My girlfriend rummaged around in her bag, then got a tampon and shoved it up my nose. It worked. MLIA

My daughter baked me a birthday cake from scratch. It was so hard, my husband had to drill holes in it for the candles. We tried soaking it in ice cream to soften it up, but it didn't work. So we blew it up in the backyard with fire crackers. The squirrels were happy. MLIA.

Today, I went to a science revision class. The teacher was talking about the brain and drew it on the board as two circles (one for each side). Then he got on to talking about the spinal cord and drew that on in relation to the brain, using the whole board. Oh, his face when he realised he'd drawn a four-foot p***s...MLIA

Today, I was playing a card game with a 7 year old French girl (I'm an au pair) and trying to teach her the names of some of the animals in English. When preseted with a peacock, she thought hard for a moment and then triumphantly shouted "p***s!". I had to leave the room to control myself. MLIA

Today, I learned that one can purchase land in Hell, Michigan for $6.66 per square inch. I'll take one, please. MLIA

Today my older brother walked into my room wearing an apron and said." I don't know why these went out of style in the female community, they are very slimming." And then went to admire himself in the bathroom mirror. MLIA

Today, at my school lunch, the football players dressed up as women, high heels, thongs, and all, and asked for money. For every dollar you donated you got to send your transvestite to give a mock lap-dance to anyone. Seven dollars, well spent. MLIA
^damn i wish my skool did this wink

Today, I came home from college for Thanksgiving break. I got asked 5 times if I wanted to go see New Moon, once from a different cousin. I denied them all. Later, I found out that they all really wanted to go see New Moon but needed a younger girl to go with them so it would seem like I had dragged them. All of my cousins are guys and the youngest one is 27. MLIA

Today I got on an elevator with one of my professors and several other guys. I'm a little overweight and so one of the guys in the group made a comment about too much weight on the elevator. While I was preparing to cry, my 65 yr old professor turned around and said: "Actually, the problem for the elevator is you, because you are a humongous bag of s**t." Chivalry lives on? I think so. MLIA

I live in an apartment building on my college campus. The walls are rather thin. One Sunday morning after a weekend of partying I hear the guy above me with some girl and their squeaky bed. To kill the mood, I turned on The Circle of Life from The Lion King. The squeaking stopped. MLIA

It was snowing pretty heavily today. While trudging through the snow, I passed a kid wearing shorts and flip-flops. I took a second look and I saw his shirt said, "I'm not crazy; I'm from Alaska". I now consider it my mission to find him and marry him. MLIA

My computer spell check seems to accept Dumbledore, but not Voldemort. At least it knows where it's loyalties should lie. MLIA

Today, I read a story on MLIA about someone running into a door and now having stitches in the shape of Harry Potter's scar on their forehead. I showed it to my friend during class. He smiled and lifted up his bangs, showing me a scar on his forehead. MLIA

Today, my sister started playing the theme song for Harry Potter on the piano. My dad came over and said, "Is that Harry Potter?". I laughed because he said it in a British accent that sound just like Harry's, then i remembered, my dad is actually British.

Today I went to a concert where local bands in my area often play. There was only one band I really wanted to see, but I decided to stick around and hear the other bands anyway. Between songs usually the lead singer will introduce their next song by saying a little bit about it. I knew I would like the band when the guy started by saying "Any Harry Potter Fans in here? Well you know how Dementors are the foulest creatures on earth and suck out your soul? ...Yeah, this song is about my ex-girlfriend." After the show I found this guy and gave him a hug. MLIA.

Two years ago, my elementary school principal was retiring. Everyone loved her because she would dance in the halls to mariachi music every Friday. On her last day, she started to pass out handfuls of food to everyone during lunch. She then made an announcement that the last thing she wanted to do at school was have a food fight. She counted to three, and we spent the rest of the day throwing food and spraying our replacement principal with silly string.Guess who stayed with us for another another year because we had to find a new replacement? MLIA.
^holy crap catholic skool principals r soo much stricter

My mom told me that when I was little, I spoke my own language. I understood English, but I just responded in my own gibberish talk. My religious aunties were convinced that I was "speaking in tongues." They thought I had some sort of divine connection to God. To this day, my aunts still adore me, even though I have tattoos, piercings, and pink hair. MLIA

Today I was sitting near a girl form my english class I didnt know very well. She seemed to be working on something important, but when I asked what it was she wouldn't tell me. After much begging she said "ok just don't laugh" and gave me the paper. It was a list of the original 150 pokemon she was trying to fill by memory. She only had four left. I'm in love. MLIA.

Today, while driving, my GPS somehow got set to a British man. When I made a sharp left turn, my GPS man shouted "WEEE!" in British accent. I now make many more sharp turns, just to hear this. MLIA.
if i drove i would so buy that GPS^

Today, I realized that since I am a healthy young teenager, I will probably live to see Miley Cyrus die. I don't think anyone has ever been this excited to turn 90. MLIA.
^ahahahahah now so am i im also eager to laff at every1 hu loved her wen she dies

Today I got asked out on a date. Unfortunately the guy wanted to go see New Moon. Me not being a fan of New Moon wasn't really looking forward to this. When he came to pick me up he was wearing a Harry Potter costume. I asked why but he didn't tell me. Later, when the movie started, I found out why. He started acting out every scene from Harry Potter making it so no one could watch the movie. He did this until we got kicked out of the theatre. I think there's gonna be a second date. MLIA

Today, I realized my mom only knows about Edward Cullen through MLIA. She thinks he is a fairy, gay, and a sex offender. Love you, Mom. MLIA
^how's he a sex offender?hes a sparkly gay DEAD vampire.

Today, me and my best friends decided to go see New Moon. For some reason, we tried to find as many "that's what she said lines as possible". At one point in the movie, it said "it was jet black and HUGE". We screamed "THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID!" The entire audience laughed. MLIA

I read that Miley Cyrus was shocked a cashier didn't recognize her and wasn't impressed when she told them. Today, I found out that cashier was my cousin. Never have I been so proud of my family. MLIA

Today, I cam home from work to find my little brother and a group of his friends playing in the front yard. As I got closer I realized they had on capes, goggles, and had brooms between their legs. When asked what they were doing my brother turns to me and replys as though it were obvious 'There was nothing to do, so we decided to play Quidditch.' I stared at them for a moment before running inside and grabbing my own cape and goggles, and proceeded to play with them. I'm an 18 year old girl. I have taught them well. MLIA

When i was 13, i babysat this kid who was obsessed with the Lion King. He had told me one day that if he had a boy he was going to name him mufassa and if he had a girl he was going to name her mufacita. I laughed and said that he might change his mind when he got older. He told me that he pinky swore he wouldn't. I am now 27 and a preschool teacher. I have a set of twins in my class. What are their names you ask? Mufassa and Mufacita. And the dad? The little boy i had once babysat over 12 years ago. He kept his pinky swear. MLIA.

Today, I took a detour just so I could drive through the town of Cockermouth. MLIA.

Yesterday, my boyfriend and I decided to have a romantic bubble bath in the tub at his house. When setting things up we found his little brothers boats. All stereotypical romance was skipped and we ended up having an epic navy war. MLIA

Today I realized that if you and a friend stand on two sides of the street, pretending to be holding a rope, not only will cars slow down, they will also sit there for a couple minutes. New hobby. Definitly. MLIA

Yesterday when I was shopping I overheard a women talking about how when her sister's boyfriend proposed to her, he filled her car's trunk with Ring Pops and had the real ring hidden inside there. Then at their wedding they put Ring Pops on all of the reception tables. I have officially found the way I want to be proposed to.

A while ago, we got a new student in of my classes. He didnt really talk a lot and kept to himself. One day during a test, he handed me a note without saying anything. I opened it and it said the answer to number 43 is A. The test only went to 35 questions. A few months later, he moved away. That day we took a test and the answer for number 43 was A. I'm on to you future boy. MLIA

Today, I was standing in the checkout line in Walmart. A man behind me as on the phone. I was trying not to listen in to his conversation, but then I heard, "NO SON! How many times do I have to tell you? The pink hippos go in the oven and the orange sneakers in the microwave. And if you burn them, Edward Cullen will come and eat all the heads off your barbies." I have never been more curious about what something meant in my life. MLIA.

Today, My brother turned to me and said "You know what I just realized, Harry Potter is about family, friends, truth, courage, justice, etc. and Twilight is about how important it is to have a boyfriend." MLIA
^which is more important i wonder?duh harry potter!

Today, I spent all morning teaching my brother to say "This is SPARTA!" when someone says "This is madness!" My whole family got together for brunch today. Apparently my brother taught all the kids to say "This is SPARTA!", and when our waitress saw how many of us there were at the table, she laughed and said "This is madness..." All the kids simultaneously screamed "THIS IS SPARTA!" I`ve never been more proud of my brother.

Today, I caught my mom reading MLIA. She asked me why nothing average ever happens in our life. Just then, my dad walked into the room in a dinosaur suit singing Frosty the Snowman. Never underestimate the power of doubt. MLIA

On my school volleyball team, there is a younger boy named Sham. Whenever he serves my friend (and everybody else) says "Wow". He is now called shamwow. MLIA.

Today I was babysitting with my boyfriend. We were watching his younger twin brothers who are 13 and his younger sister who's 6. They decided to watch Twilight. Since its one of their favorites. His little sister and I looked at each other and ran screaming out of the room. Then we proceeded to hide under her bed. They came looking for us but couldn't find us. Finally she sighed and she "Thank God they try to make me watch it all the time but I know a rapist when I see one." I love that little girl. MILA

Today, we were learning about the metric system in class. The teacher passed out a worksheet that was pretty hard. Except for me, all the kids in my class asked the smartest student for help. I asked the biggest druggie. I got all the answers right. MLIA.
O_o how does that work? ^

Today, I was in the car with my mum when we passed a group of firemen. They were holding a sign saying "Honk if you support the firemen". One had his top off. My mum honked 7 times. MLIA

I work at a pool, and today a man paid his entry fee, walked into the pool complex and jumped into the pool fully clothed in an expensive suit. Then he got out of the pool, said goodbye to me and left, still dripping wet. MLIA

Today I was at the store with my Dad. I really needed some new soap so I asked him to buy me some Caress. He looked at the bottle, disgusted, and loudly declared 'Caress my balls!'. I shouted back, 'No! Do it yourself!' before he could put two and two together Needless to say the old lady behind us could not stop laughing. MLIA.

Today I was walking with my friend back to his house from the movie theaters when we suddenly had a full on hugging war. I would try to hug him but he'd deflect it. This went on for about five minutes until a group of three husky guys walked passed us. One of the guys, who was a big black guy, stopped, turned around and gave me a hug. He then told my friend "give her hug, she's cute AND she smells nice." My friend then gave me a hug. Thank you kind stranger, for helping me win this hug war. MLIA

Yesterday, in class, I had to leave to go to a hospital appointment. When I told the teacher this, some guy in my class shouts "I didn't know there was a sexual health clinic around here!". Without missing a beat, the quietest girl in the class then looked at him and goes "well no, you wouldn't, would you.". MLIA.

Today I took a quiz on what type of warrior I was, proudly I received the answer Ninja Warrior. Not even thirty minutes later my sister threw a pen at the back of my head because I was annoying her. Without realizing it I turned around in time to see it and catch it. I am concerned that this quiz knew more about me the I did.

Today, I was standing in my front yard when i heard a very loud smack behind me. I turned around, and saw a squirrel slowly stand up, shake its head, and carefully climb up a tree. It dawned on me that this squirrel had fallen 50 feet, landed on concrete, and survived. I admire you, ninja squirrel. MLIA.

Today, my mum was mopping the floor, so my 18 and 4 year old sister and I were trapped in the living room. Needless to say, for the next fifteen minutes we played 'the floor is lava' and I'm typing this while perched on a bookcase. MLIA

I'm an exchange student. Last Friday, I told a classmate how cool bubblewrap is. Today, she brought me 3 feet of it. I was really excited so I messaged my mom on Facebook to tell her about it. Her response? "I sent you to a foreign country to learn and grow, and yet you're fascinated by bubble wrap?". Sorry, Mom, but yes. MLIA

Today, I just came back from an overseas holiday. My dad works in customs so as we were going through, I started scanning the desks to see if he was there. Seeing that he wasn't, I started waving at the security cameras. After about a minute, a voice came over the PA saying, "Miss, I'm going to have to ask you to stop waving at the cameras." Everyone around me stared at me in horror as I just stood there laughing. I love my dad. MLIA

Today, I was walking through super target, and as I was walking to the toys section, I passed the Barbie aisle. The entire aisle was bright pink, with Barbies in dresses, and I noticed there was only one male doll. I got closer and noticed it was Edward Cullen. Good to know someone knows where he belongs. MLIA

Today, I met someone new and she asked how old I was. I told her I was 4. She looked extremely confused. I didn't tell her that my birthday is leap day. MLIA

Today, My biology teacher said he would let us go early to lunch if we ran down the halls like Raptors with arms retracted and making the noises as we did it. Guess which class got out early. MLIA.
^my friends and i do that normally

Today, I had a guest speaker in one of my lectures who wasn't very interesting. I was doodling, and she asked us "do any of you have jobs?". Without looking up I answered, "I sell drugs to people." I work at London Drugs. Her face was priceless. MLIA.

In my physics class, my teacher made it a rule that if you were late, you had to sing. One day, my friend went out to lunch right before physics, and was late, as usual. When he finally came into class, before the teacher could say anything, the friend explained, "well, I know that if I am late I need to sing; I decided to bring a couple friends along to help." My friend stepped aside to let 15 people into the physics room, all from our school's top choir (he was in the choir as well). They proceeded to sing an epic song in 6 part harmony until my teacher stopped them and said we had to continue on with class. He never made anyone sing for being late in that class ever again. MLIA

The other day I was in my Spanish class with a friend of mine who doesn't take Spanish, and was just hanging out in his free period. It was a slow day, and halfway through the class he turned to look at me with a surprised expression and said with all seriousness, "I just realized, Spanish sounds like Mexican." MLIA.

Today, my 1st grade cousin came home with a word search for homework. Everything was going great until the end, where it said to create a word out of the leftover letters. The letters were "t,a,e,s,t,e,l". 4 adults, 3 college students and 2 high schoolers couldn't figure out what it meant until my 4 year old sister walked over and simply told us, "it's 'let's eat' backwards". I wonder who has the brains in our family. MLIA

Yesterday, i walked into Maths and noticed my teacher sporting a strangly lopsided mostache. Turns out he's decided to grow it in the shape of a square root symbol. The highest bidding class gets to choose what colour he dyes it. I'm putting all the money i have on pink. MLIA

Today, my family told me I was adopted. My whole family is white. I'm black. I think I figured it out. MLIA

Today, I was sneaking in my mom's room to get something I had left in there while she was sleeping. When she woke up and asked me what I was doing, I quickly said, "I need your wand, then dementors are attacking!" She replied with, "Make sure you bring it back." and went back to sleep without another word. I love my mom. MLIA

Today I went to the store to buy tampons. I looked up and saw a sign that said "feminine products". I then looked down the aisle and at the other end there was a sign above the condoms that said "family prevention". Blunt. I like it. MLIA

Earlier this week, I had been sent to the nurse after donating blood. As I lay on my side for 15 minutes, I proceeded to read all the health posters on the wall. One of them said "Signs of Mental Illness: social isolation, lack of appetite, bizarre behavior, and irrational decisions." I now realize what Bella from New Moon is promoting. MLIA

Today was Black Friday and I worked. I had a difficult customer who ended up cursing me out. I was close to tears but had to keep working. My next customer was a little old lady with a polite expression. She looked up at me and plainly said. "What a little b***h! I would have punched her if I was you" MLIA

Today, during a heavy rainstorm, I was listening to Queens 'Bohemian Rhapsody' on YouTube. The song got to the middle, playing "Thunderbolts and Lightning, very very frightening me!". At that moment, the power went out with a low rumble of distant thunder. I've never screamed and laughed at the same time before. MLIA

The other day, my friend took a quiz on facebook about how boyish and girlish you are. Her result? 80% boy, 10% girl. What happened to the other 10%? MLIA

Today, I was leaving the supermarket when i saw one of those claw machines and got really excited. I started to search through my purse for a quarter when a random man comes up, Hands me $2 in quarters and says "I believe in you." That man is my new idol. MLIA

Today, I walked into Hot Topic wearing my Twilight shirt. I asked the salesman if they carried an Harry Potter scarves. He quickly grabbed my arm and lifted it into the air and proclaimed to the entire store that I had 'seen the light'. MLIA.

Today as I was walking out of Walmart, I saw about six grown men who serve at the local military base in full uniform having a nerf gun war. I had to use every ounce of willpower to restrain from joining them. MLIA

Today, I was flipping through the channels on TV when I realized that channel 69 was the Religious channel. I laughed. MLIA

Yesterday, at Thanksgiving, my four year old cousin asked me, "Was Narnia made by ninjas? Because I can never find it when I look for it in closets." I love my family. MLIA

Today, I called my dad by his first name for about the hundredth time to annoy him. He finally yelled, "Shut up! What the hell is wrong with you?" I yelled, "Your genes!" He looked to my mom for help, but she just said, "If you're old enough to use a word like 'hell', then you're old enough to think of a comeback." So he just walked away, muttering. MLIA

Today, my 12 year old sister came up to me and asked me what an erection was. Not knowing if I should tell her or not I told her to ask our mom. Apparently my mom told her it meant excited. Later my sister came up to me and said "I'm erected all the time!" It took me 10 minutes to stop laughing. MLIA

Yesterday, our family had over 40 relatives over for Thanksgiving. Almost all of my family has bright red hair, so after awhile, you don't really notice any of us individually. After we finished our dinner, my grandpa stood up to tell everyone how thankful he is for each of us, his "beloved McCartys." Someone then whispered, "wait...McCarty? $!@%," and slipped out the door without causing attention. Turns out, he wasn't my cousin. Some redhead spent his Thanksgiving at the McCarty residence. Hope you liked the turkey. MLIA.

I am a delivery dude for Domino's, and today I had a delivery and asked the customer to please leave the porchlight on because it was an unfamiliar area. When I get there, three little kids are standing outside jumping up and down with flashlights in their hands in 30 degree weather because there was no porchlight.

Today, I was babysitting a small girl on the playground. As she was going across the monkey bars, her hands started to slip and she fell. I saw this, and slid across the sand on my knees and caught her in midair. When I told her mother this, she said I was the only ninja who was allowed to babysit her daughter. MLIA

Today, while trying to find parking for the infamous black friday shopping day, i was waiting for a car to back out of a parking space. Just as I was about to park, a car sped up and took our spot. Furious, my mom got out of the car and yelled at the driver in the other car. I have never seen a muscular 6 foot tall man cry before in my life. MLIA

Today my gay best friend admitted that he liked me and wanted to go out. I'm a girl, I turned a gay guy straight. MLIA.

Today, I babysat a 9 year old boy who spent the entire evening explaining to me, in detail, how he was going to take over the world. I think it might work. MLIA

Today after gym, I was in the locker room changing when a tampon from the locker above me fell on my head. Im a boy, and was in the boys locker room. MLIA

Yesterday, my family was playing catch phrase after finishing dinner. My dad was describing cake and said "you get it once a year on your birthday" my uncle proceeded to yell "SEX!"... Needless to say I love my dad's side of the family alot more now. And I'm pretty sure my cousin is scarred. MLIA.

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me. Ten minutes later, the sim I made of him died in a fire. God has a sense of humor too. MLIA

Yesterday. the quiet kids phone went off in class. After he handed his phone to the teacher, a jock who sat in front of him, turned around and said to him, "Was that your girlfriend?" He looked the jock right in the eyes and replied "No, it was yours". I couldn't stop laughing all period. MLIA

In 7th grade, I had convinced a not so bright girl that Cheese was in fact a Country. After a desperate 3 months or so of her searching a map, for "cheese" and myself asking her if she had found it every week or so she had given up, went up the teacher and asked for her to point out "cheese", the teacher told her there was no such country. The girl then followed up by turning to me and yelling "Liar!", After my giggles had dissipated I then asked this girl if she could find the country Chile on the map, she retorted that she "I'm not going to fall for that one twice in a row!" I laughed the rest of the day. MLIA.

A few nights ago, my friends and I found a 1981 Trivial Pursuit game in the trunk of my car and decided to play it in a popular local hang-out spot with our friends. We ended up cramming 9 people into a corner booth and having half of the restaurant answering questions with us. MLIA

Today,i was having a horrible day. During english,i was texting my boyfriend about it, saying how i really needed a hug. he stoped replying, and i felt a little hurt. then a few minutes later, he can running into my classroom,out of breath from running down from the 3rd floor to my 1st floor class, gave me a huge hug, and ran out. his class was drama, and he was wearing a kilt. i know i chose the right guy. MLIA.

Today, my horse-riding friend and I were on a bus, and we had fallen silent. My friend turned to me and asked "Why do you use a whip?" Meaning when I am riding my horse. I replied "So he knows who is dominant, otherwise he won't come into my hand." There was an awkward silence around us as we realised what we had said, until an elderly woman leant forward and said "You show 'em who's boss, love," and winked at us. We spent the rest of the bus trip trying to work out what other suspicious horsey things we can say in non-horsey areas. MLIA

Yesterday, I got a call from the school nurse. It turns out that my six year old daughter had been licking the hand sanitizer off of her hands and got drunk due to the alcohol content. When I asked her why she did this, she said it tastes good and made her head feel fuzzy. I am afraid I have a long road ahead of me with this child. MLIA

Today I got my wisdom teeth out. I didn't remember anything from the surgery, but apparently once we were inside the elevator on the 23rd floor, I pushed every single button. Good to know I'm still my same old self even when I'm drugs. MLIA

Today, my mom told me that when I was in kindergarten, my teacher had a talk with my parents. She said I was very good at looking busy while getting everyone else to do my work. At the young age of 4 I was exhibiting the characteristics of either a natural born leader or a natural born slacker. I only hope I can live up to these expectations. MLIA.

I was signing with my deaf sister at the mall as she went off to buy some stuff when a very cute girl came up to me and started signing. We continued like this for about 10 minutes before we realized that neither one of us was deaf. My sister thought this was hilarious and I have a new girlfriend. MyLifeIsAwesome.

Today, I found out that when I was two, whenever my mom wasn't home my dad and his friends would slap boxing gloves on my twin sister and me. Then they sat around and watched us beat the crap out of eachother in our "toddler death matches." I love my dad. MLIA

Today I was at the convenience store, and the couple queuing in front of me were debating whether to buy condoms or not, seeing that their total bill without it was exactly $50. The woman was about to put the pack back onto the shelf, when a little kid nearby started screaming that he wanted candy, and proceeded to throw himself onto the ground, threatening to pee on the spot, while his mother stared in despair. The woman in front of me paused, then turned to her husband and said, "I think we better get these." and dropped the condoms back into their basket. I cracked up. MLIA

Today, our new principal was giving her first speech to the assembled student body. She'd barely begun when she noticed the vice principal was leaving out the back of the auditorium. She tried to get his attention but failed, so she paused her speech saying "I need to chase that man." Then she sighed and said "Story of my life," before running down the aisle after him. I think I'm going to like her. MLIA.

Today, my lab partner and I built a five story card house. My chemistry teacher stopped teaching the class and watched as we made it. MLIA

Today, while reading through old MLIA posts, I found one about Hogwarts being 53 minutes from Narnia. I live in Hogwarts Cir. in California, and drive my daughter to Narnia preschool everyday. I fully expect my daughter to be the coolest kid ever when she's older. MLIA.

Today I discovered that my boyfriend periodically keeps water balloons in his car. Beyond that, he used them today to throw at people wearing Twilight shirts. I definitely picked a keeper. MLIA

Today, the company that makes my high school's class rings was set up in the center of the cafeteria for students to pick up their class rings. My friend begged me to come with him to get his, and then asked me to put it on for him (I'm a girl). Getting into character, I kneeled down and asked if he'd accept my token of appreciation of our friendship. He pretended he was crying and said yes, and I slid the ring on his finger. The whole cafeteria fell silent, then applauded. I love highschool. MLIA

Today, my parents were getting really fed up with this steakhouse that has been calling them once or twice a day since they ate there. The phone rang and I saw that it said Omaha Steakhouse so I picked It up and screamed "WE'RE VEGANS! LEAVE US ALONE!" and hung up. My mom stared at me and my dad applauded. I don't think they'll be bothering us anymore. MLIA

Today in my chemistry class, the teacher was asking one of the students about his parents. She asked him what his dad did for a living and he said that he was a gynecologist. I snickered under my breath and asked him in front of the class if that's how his parents met. It was. MLIA

Usually, when it's foggy outside, I tell my mom "the dementors are breeding" because it's one of the few Harry Potter references she gets. Today, it was extremely foggy so she looked at me and said "the dementors must be having an orgy." Favourite. Parent. MLIA

Today, my friend and I were walking with a group when we came across a patch of ice. Everyone who was walking normally had slipped on the ice, except for me and my friend. We waddled across it and made penguin noises. Everyone stared, but we didn't slip. MLIA

Today I saw a girl with a t-shirt that read, "And then Buffy staked Edward. The End." I want to be her friend. MLIA
I want that shirt ^

Today I overheard my sister's jerk boyfriend telling her that after his haircut he is going to look ten times better. My little brother then popped out of nowhere and said, "ten times zero is still a zero". MLIA.

Today, I was sitting in my American History class. In this class, there is this very loud cheerleader, and since the first day of school, my teacher has picked on her for one reason or another for talking so much. Today, he finally got fed up and threatened to drag her out into the hallway and lock the door if she didn't stop talking. Ten minutes later, he literally jumped over about three desks and tied her hoodie shut, grabbed her feet and dragged her out into the hallway. He ran back in the classroom, and locked the door. The best part? We could hear the principle outside laughing. Way to keep your word, Mr. Gauger. MLIA

Today, I was in the doctors office when the doctor asked me (a teenage boy) what I was doing to prevent women from getting pregnant. With out missing a beat, my Dad goes " I'm always sure to buy him the good condoms not the cheap ones." The doctor just stared at him for five minutes then left the room. You rock Dad. MLIA

Today, in chemistry I got the hiccups. We were working on some practice problems and the teacher was walking around checking on how we were doing. Suddenly, fire starts blowing right next to my head and I screamed. My teacher had lit a piece of flash paper on fire to scare my hiccups away. It worked. MLIA

Today I read a story on FML about a guy who got smiled at by a pretty girl on a bus, smiled back at her, then walked straight into a lampost. Well at least he thinks i'm pretty smile MLIA

Today, I was sitting in class when all of a sudden someone in the back row yelled "Avada Kedavera". Everyone in the class ducked under their desks except for the professor who, after looking shocked for a moment, keeled over. Best class ever! MLIA

Today, I was in Chemistry class when my techer announced the new project we were going to be working on called The Elemental Dating Game, where everyone pretended to be a different element. The girl with the biggest boobs in class got assigned to Silicone. No one could understand why I was laughing so hard. MLIA.
i would be too in fact i am just readin this^

Today, I was in world history when the teacher said she was going to read us a story. she pulled out a little kids story. I immediately yelled "STORY TIME!" ran to the front of the room and sat at her feet. the whole class followed. I am proud of our sophomore class. MLIA
^that wud so b my fav class if i was in it

Today, I was walking past my sister's room when I noticed my old dollhouse in the corner. I sat down and started happily moving around a few of the little people, remembering all the fun I'd had with it. Two hours later, my sister returned and questioned what I'd been doing. Caught up in my own excitement I told her what I'd been playing before realizing that for the past two hours I'd plotted two affairs, starved three children in the attic, and massacred half of the doll family in their kitchen with tiny plastic cookie trays. I'd ended the whole thing with a tearful interview between the survivors and Oprah. Oh dollhouse; how I've missed you. MLIA.

Today,I was leaving Walmart with my dad and sister. When they gave me the cart to put back I started sprinting away from them and proceeded to jump on the back and ride the cart downhill. My sister yelled, "Oh you're very mature". Upon hearing this, an old man walking in the opposite direction started to run and jump on his cart, and as we passed each other, tipped his hat and winked. I love old people.

Today, while driving home from the mall, I spotted a little Asian kid running around outside. I honestly didn't think anything of it until out of the blue he climbs up a tree, front-flips out of it,lands perfectly on the ground, turns and smiles at me, and runs inside his house. I'm on to you strange, ninja kid; oh yes I am. MLIA.

A few weeks ago, my family got an Airwick "fresh-matic" automatic sprayer that sprays "a burst of fragrence" every 36 minutes. i had been curious to how it sprays for a while, so today i went up to it & looked at it very closely where it sprays out. All of a sudden my little brother yells "LOOK OUT!!" & tackles me to the ground. Right then, the sprayer sprayed. i love my little brother. MLIA.

Today, I was at a football game and it was really hot and humid outside. Towards the end of the game, the little girl behind me was getting restless and whining about the weather. She finally stood up and yelled at our losing team, "Catch the freaking snitch already! I wanna go homeee!" That girl is going places. MLIA.

Today, I was watching a commercial that said, "Where can you find all your Hannah Montana apparel in one place?!" My 13 yr old sister then responded with "hell." I now have hope for our future.MLIA

My Blackberry had been lost for quite some time and I had been searching for it. My brother wakes up and walks directly to the coach, pulls it out from beneath the cushion. He says "I saw it in a dream." then went straight to sleep. My brother is psychic. MLIA.

Today, while applying to colleges I found one that had a Hide and Go Seek Club, in order to get in you have to find the club in a meeting. I will not be getting any work done at college. MLIA.

Today, I realised i'm not a ninja. I tried to catch plates as they fell from the cupboard, failed and cut my eyelid from the shards. I think i'm just going to be a pirate since I have the eyepatch now.MLIA

Today, i was watching tv when we had a black out, my brother came up behind me and whispered my name in my ear, i was so scared i punched him in the face and did a ninja kick. Turns out my brother was making a video for film class. He got a A+. MLIA

Every year during Thanksgiving and Christmas my grandma makes a big deal about counting the silver wear to make sure none is lost....we now eat using plastic forks because she was upset about having a different number of silver wear each year....I recently found out my aunt over the last 8 years has been taking silver wear some years and then leaving silver wear other years just to mess with my overly uptight grandma....I think she gets the family prank award of the year. MLIA

Today, I went Christmas tree shopping with my family. Instead of actually participating in tree shopping, I found another kid and started to race them with the golf carts there. A worker then drove up behind us shouting. When I actually listened to him he said, "Wait! Stop! I want to race!" We ended up getting a six person race going. MLIA.

Yesterday, my cat scratched my hands and arms up. I have had three people ask me if I was emo. I replied no to each of them. Then a guy asked me if I'd gotten in a fight with a hook-handed pirate. I solemnly replied yes. We have a date for tomorrow. MLIA.

Last night my friends and I went to see New Moon. It was pretty quite in the theater until Jacob took his shirt off. Behind me I heard someone say, "Ohhh lordy, look at that," I turned around and saw 2 grandma's practically drooling. I was about to say something, but someone beat me too it. "He's seventeen you *****!" I looked around to see who said that. It was my science teacher. MLIA

Today, I realized that after changing my Facebook language to Pirate a month or two ago, I had never changed it back. I only noticed this after my friend pointed it out. I am now really excited that I can read Pirate as fluently as regular English. MLIA.

Last night, my dream catcher broke. Then, I had a nightmare in which I married Miley Cyrus. MLIA

Today I discovered that if you turn on the keypad volume on your cell phone and type 989797899897787987, it sounds like Here Comes the Sun. You can also play Mary Had a Little Lamb using the same three keys. MLIA

Yesterday I found out that the I'm the only reason my French teacher still makes us change seats at the start of every month. He claims he needs to rotate me around the classroom because he doesn't think it's fair that I always distract the same group of people. MLIA.

Today, my roommate got back a test that she took in Art History. She received a 100% and because of that she had a sticker and little toy giraffe taped to her test. My other roommate was perturbed by the fact that we're seniors in college and a teacher would treat us like 3rd graders. I'm now registered for that class next semester. MLIA

Today, in english class, we were reading a poetry book. On page 69, there was a poem about manholes. I laughed and got a high five from my teacher. MLIA

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