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Madman's Ramblings
Well i guess all i'm going to write in here is scripts involving me and my friends, otherwise that's about it.
MadHouse Episode 6: The Revenge of the Chris
*the scene opens up with Alexandra in a bathroom blow drying her hair*
Alexandra: LALALALALALAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
*Chris walks in holding a squirt gun and sprays Alexandra and the hair dryer, electrocuting Alexandra*
Chris: YOU JUST GOT CHRISED B***H
Alexandra: *BZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT*
Chris: What was that i can’t here you
Alexandra: *BZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT*
Chris: Hey, hey, hey no need to use that tone of voice.
Alexandra: *BZZZZZZZZZZZZTTTT*
Chris: why would i do this you ask?
Alexandra: *BZZZ*
Chris: Well cause i’m sick and tired of all you contestants driving me MAD, so today , with the help of the all mighty writer-
Writer: YO, writer here, Chris we love ya man but water balloons would have been so much better man, all i got to say.
Chris:..........well okay then, anyways thanks to mister writer i’m getting revenge on all of you MUHAHAHAHAHA.
Alexandra: BZZZZZT
Chris: Oh shut it
*Chris walks out the door, and as he’s about to leave pulls out the hairdryer cord, causing Alexandra to fall down on the floor*
*In another part of the house Loyde, Carter, Rygeor, David, James, Jill and Chef are sitting down to eat*
Loyde: wait so let me get this straight, now we not only have 2 dumb**ses in the house but now we also have 2 fat**ses, god this place is going down in value.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Everyone shuffles around while Jill stays seated, resulting in her head being pushed into her food*
Rygeor: Ya why are you guys even here?
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Everyone shuffles around, this time eggs go flying into Jill’s face*
David: Well I’m here cause you guys need an in house mechanic, since Andrew will just screw things up, and James is staying here cause the station doesn’t want a lawsuit on their hands.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Everyone shuffles, bacon sideburns for Jill*
James: Ya I threatened to sue cause of the experience on that roller coaster.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Shuffle, Sausage smile for Jill*
Rygeor: wait so your not suing because you almost got eaten by a zombie.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Up and around everyone sits down, English muffin cheeks for Jill*
James: What zombie, i don’t remember anything until after i got off the coaster the first time.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES
*Everyone does a dance around the table sits, and a bowl of cereal lands on Jills head*
Loyde: Oh nvm, what the hell are you doing crazy murder lady.
*Jill jumps up on the table wielding a kitchen knife*
Jill: THAT’S IT SOMEONE IS GETTING KILLED RIGHT NOW.
*she turns and makes a stab for Chef’s head.........which is successful and goes in*
Rygeor:.......
David:..........
James: He is so not gonna be able to lol in his pants about this one.
Loyde: NOOOOOOOOOO CHEF, now who’ll make my peanut butter and jammy Sammy dinosaurs.
Carter: CHANG- ok you know what that’s just f***ed up Loyde.
Jill: Whoops......
Rygeor: SHE KILLS A GUY AND THEN SAYS WHOOPS, OH GAWD SHE’S HEARTLESS.
Carter: Quick anyone got a keyblade
*PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF*
David: The hell was that?
Jill: Chef just deflated......
Carter: and you all think I’m stupid
Loyde: Its a fate worse than death, deflation.........
Jill: What the hell this isn’t chef its a balloon that looks like Chef.
Carter: Wow they got Andrew to make that too
Loyde: but no one’s seen him all morning
David: Actually i made it and, its a decoy balloon, the real chef just slipped out 5 seconds before the balloon got stabbed.
Rygeor: Why would he do that?
*vrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrmmmmmmmmm*
Loyde: Ok Rygeor if that is what I think it is I swear to god I’ll blame you for it.
Rygeor: What do you think it is?
Loyde: A golf cart with a golf ball minigun attachment.
Rygeor: Ok what are the chan-
*at that exact moment a golf cart with a minigun attachment burst through the doors, with Chef driving it, and Chris manning the turret*
Chris: WELCOME TO DAY 6 KIDDIES, today’s challenge is one of my favourites, why you may ask, cause the challenge is not to get CHRISED by me, MUAHAHAHA.
Chef: Yo Chris your scaring me dawg.
Chris: Shut up and Drive, I GOT SOME CHRISING TO DO.
Carter: CHANGE PLACES.
*Everyone bolts from the room except for Jill who moves over a seat*
Jill: HAH I DID-oh give me a break
Chris: YOU’VE JUST BEEN-
*Chris open fires with the turret, burying Jill in a pile of golf balls*
Chris: CHRISIFIED HAHAHAHAHAHA.
Chef: Ok seriously dude, creepy factor, its over 9000, big time.
Chris: well get used to it cause i got more Chrisifing to do.
Chef: is that even a word?
Chris: JUST SHUT UP AND DRIVE.
*The scene changes to Carter running down a hallway, just as he’s about to reach the end from around the corner Pyramid head pops out*
Carter: OH GOD, PLEASE DON’T TURN MY SKIN INTO A DISH TOWEL.
*Carter slowly backs away.......only to fall into a pit trap behind him, Pyramid head grabs his chest and ‘rips’ it off, revealing Chris*
Chris: YOU’VE JUST BEEN CHRISINATED, ENJOY YOUR ONE WAY TRIP TO A LAGOON FULL OF CROCODILES, WAHAHAHAHAHA.
*Chris turns around mimicking wario’s laugh, while a few inches into the pit Carter is sitting on the handle of his sword, which is sticking into the wall of the pit*
Carter: Whoa that dude has a serious issue.............CHANGE PLACES
*Carter hops out of the pit, and runs down the hallway, only to fall into another pit*
Carter: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooo......change places.
*In another part of the house Rygeor is sneaking around a corner*
Rygeor: Psh, there’s no way that Chris is gonna get me after the super spy internet course i took.
*Suddenly a spotlight shines down on Rygeor, causing a exclamation mark to appear above his head*
Rygeor: OH CRAP THEY SPOTTED ME, WHERE’S MY BOX, WERE’S MY MARTINI!!!
*Rockets are heard firing*
Rygeor: ARE YOU INSANE
*Rygeor runs down the hallway, running away from the flying projectiles, but is immediately stopped when he collides with a brick wall painted like the rest of the hallway, Chris pops out from a manhole cover under him*
Chris: OW THAT HAS GOT TO HURT, WHY? CAUSE YOU’VE BEEN CHRISANNIHILATED.
Chef: seriously chris does don’t make sense.
Chris: SHUT IT AND GET THE HOUSE SHIFTER READY.
Chef:......d**k
Rygeor: At least there aren’t any missiles.
Chris: Actually no there are, they just fly slow buh bye.
*Chris disappears down the manhole which closes behind him and melds into the floor, down the hallway, a huge warhead can be seen making slow progress to Rygeor*
Rygeor: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*Boom*
*On the roof Loyde is walking around, trying to keep a low profile, suddenly the house is shaken by a massive explosion*
Loyde: What the hell was that..........actually it was probably Andrew getting pranked, at least i’m safe up here, they;ll never suspect a calm collected fellow like myself to hide up here.
Chris: On the contrary, that is exactly what we expected.
*Loyde whips around to be confronted with Chris wearing a suit, and holding a pair of mirrored shades in his hand*
Chris: You see mister reed, you are especially difficult to CHRISIFY WOOHOO...... *ahem*, so for you we cooked up something special.
Loyde: Like anything you could do would have the slightest effect on me.
Chris: There’s no gentle way of saying it so i’ll just come out with it, we had your perfect world account deleted.
Loyde:.......what
Chris: We contacted perfect world’s HQ and had them delete it, the directors an old friend of mine.
Loyde: Its not possible.........there’s no way you would know any of the great ones.
Chris: Oh really now *snaps his fingers* chef show the man what i mean
*Chef walks out from behind Chris and kneels down in front of Loyde, he then pulls out a laptop, which displays the sign in screen for perfect world*
Chef: Try and sign in.
Loyde: O-okay
*Loyde types in his account as well as his password and click sign in, a few second a message that says ‘account does not exist’*
Loyde: No, NO, NOO ITS NOT POSSIBLE.
Chris: That’s the thing about Murphy’s Law, Loyde.
*Chris puts on the glasses*
Chris: What can be Chrised will be Chrised, lets go chef.
*Chef and Chris go back into the house leaving Loyde broken, continuously trying to sign in*
*down in the cellar/David’s room, James and David we’re watching the Chrisoccurences happen*
James: wow what’s with Loyde, dude’s jizzen himself over a lost profile.
David: I know, apparently, and this is what Andrew told me, he tried to dismember Rygeor for pulling out the internet connection.
James: and people say i have an anger issue
David: you do.
James: As bad as Loyde’s?
David: Ya you started mouthing off to a 5 year old an Xbox live cause he chose the green circle before you did.
James: That F***ER CHEATED OKAY, THERE IS NO WAY THAT HE NEW THAT THE GREEN CICLE WENT IN THE GREEN CIRCUILAR HOLE THAT FAST
David: .....it took him 5 minutes.
James: SOOOOO
David: It took you 8
James: I don’t see what your getting at there
David: And there’s my evidence.
Chris: BOOO
James: MOOOOOMMMMYYYYY
David: Hey Chris
Chris: Dam how’d you know it was me?
David: I have security cameras placed all over the house, including one in front of my room.
James: Wait is there one in the T.V. room on the 3rd floor?
David: Yes, its a 24 hour camera, as are the rest of them.
James: But I WATCH tv on Thursday’s in there.
David: and that’s why i always put a towel down when i sit on the couch there.
Chris: Yo david since i can’t screw with you since your our mechanic can i mess with the post man.
James: What post man?
David: *sigh* what an idiot, be my guest.
Chris: Hey James, want to know something.
James: What?
Chris: The developer’s at infinity ward gave me an early release of COD 4 modern warfare 2, want it?
James: SOMEBODY KISS ME.
David: Not even in your dreams.
Chris: here.
*Chris pulls out the case and extends it toward James*
James: SOMEONE HOLD ME!!!
David: Once again, not in your dreams James.
Chris: Here
*Chris tosses the game to James who misses catching it and watches it sail into a tub of Chloric acid*
James: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO
*James runs and dives in the vat after the game*
Chris: whoa didn’t expect that to happen.
David: Wait you didn’t mean to destroy an early release copy of Modern Warfare 2?
Chris: oh Hell no, thats just the case, i replaced the game with the most worthless game i could find.
David: Which was?
Chris: Painkiller
*from somewhere in the house Loyde can be heard*
Loyde: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOo
David: heh,
Chris: Anyways shouldn’t you help james, he could possibly die....
David: Ya well, its watered down so the most that can happen is he burns off all his skin.
Chris: that doesn’t sound to watered down.
David: he would have evaporated on contact if it wasn’t
James: GAH I HAVE ACID WHERE ACID SHOULD NOT BE, hey i found the disk.........PAINKILLER!!!
Chris: Well off to go Chris some other people.
*Later that afternoon, in the common room, a golf ball encrusted Jill, a heavily bandaged Rygeor, a horribly bitten Carter, a sobbing Loyde, and a bloodied and slightly melted James sat around a coffee table, Chris walks in with Chef carrying Alexandra’s limp body.*
Rygeor: HOLY CRAP YOU KILLED HER
Chris: and i fired a nuke at you so what.
Chef: Don’t worry we got it covered.
*David walks in wheeling a defibulator, he warms it up and shocks her*
David: CLEAR
*Alexandra’s body spasms back into life*
Alexandra: HUBAGABABOOOO
David: Its alive oh god will anyone save us GAH
*David and his horrible jokes are silenced with a swift kick from Alexandra to his groin*
David: Owww, you know what, i think i actually deserved that.
Alexandra: Dam right you did
Chris: Well contestants, how’d you enjoy today?
Carter: CHANGE PLAC-GAH
*As Carter was about to announce this weeks tag line, he got bashed in the head by a golf ball*
Jill: say it and you eat the one in my ear.
Rygeor: So why’d you do it?
Chris: One cause i wanted revenge, but i decided against it.
Contestants: WHAT!?!?!
Chris: I ended up doing it though cause Alexandra convinced me>
Loyde: WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A THING HE DELETED MY P.W ACCOUNT.
Alexandra: Well i thought it would be a fun challenge.
Jill: But Alex, he killed you
Alexandra: ya but he assured me that he’d be able to bring me back.
James: What was heaven like?
Alexandra: It was neat, everything is made out of clouds, even the bullets.
Carter: Wait, WHAT!?!
Alexandra: Ya, its funny, you’d think that all the different religions would exist on different plains, but really its all one big gang war up there, Jesus and Ghandi are like the Crips and Bloods.
David: *While leaning on a chair*who knows maybe you just went to hell-GAH
*David gets sacked for a second time, this time by a vase that Alexandra picked off the coffee table*
Rygeor: wait where’s Andrew and Will
Chris: Oh we glued them to the ceiling
Chef: We put some stuff in the drinks last night and then glued them up there.
Carter: In which room
Chris: Why don’t you explain chef.
Chef: Sure why not, first off we had them glued to the ceiling in the Girl’s bathroom-
Jill: WHAT!?!?
Chef:-But because we thought that Jill would murder them, and the fact that they managed to get a hold of some tampons, we moved them into this room.
Rygeor: WAIT WHAT
*Everyone looked up to see Andrew and Will, stuck to the high ceiling of the common room, the two of them looked extremely pale*
Will: .........need ...........snickers
Andrew: Need .........Chocolate ..........milk, oh and you guys might wanna move, the glues unsticking.
*Andrew’s body suddenly drops off the wall like a fly hitting a bug zapper, plummeting towards the group, everyone dives out of the except for James who becomes the crash pad for Andrew*
Andrew: hey thanks James, probably woulda hurt if i hit the table.
*Seconds later will drops down landing in a T position with his feet in James face*
Will: OH YA, i so stuck that landing.
*Chris turns to the camera8
Chris: Well folks it was a busy day here at the MadHouse, i got to deal with my issues, Alexandra died, and Loyde has a chance at a life now.
Loyde: NOOOOOOOO MR BIGGENBOTTOMS
Chris: Ahaha, Loyde you’re a freak, anyways kiddies see you tomorrow same Chris time same Chris Channel peace.
*The screen goes black*
James: THEY’RE IN MY ACID WOUNDS.
*C'EST FINI*

Well Ladies and Gents hope you enjoyed this weeks maddening experience, sorry about the delay, i was lazy/had alot of work/girlfriend issues/ and many other fun things, but anyways its up, its rolling and i hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i did writing it, which was actually quite a bit, until next time.






User Comments: [2] [add]
Loyde_Reed
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Mon Oct 19, 2009 @ 08:57pm
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!
and joke's on you, my PWI account isn't called Mr Biggenbottom....but my arhcer is called Sir Bagle Buns, and my Barb is Mr Fuzzy Bollocks


commentCommented on: Mon Oct 19, 2009 @ 10:10pm
LMAOOL.
Yes Mr Baggle Buns and Party_Of_One >.>
Hmm...
If I got hit with a nuke, wouldnt that make me all glowy??
BTW, The cats didnt get Chrisified yet >.>
*Opens up Wolf Cage facing towards the cats*
MUHAHAHAH-*Gets mauled by Wolves*

... Wait No, im a lvl 79 Wolf. Those wolves get pwned. rofl



Rygeor
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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