I play on second life so I'll give you a little back story to this rant. on sl you have to be 18. some places can restrict you coming in if you can't prove your not an underage player with very good reason. in our minds a legal adult should have no problem getting an id. that changed very quickly last night.
our friend ember is a legal adult but cannot get an id. she is a legal citizen, she has the rights...whats stopping her? her bloody over protective manipulative parents. she still lives with them. and I can see she is trappped. the trap is not iron bars, the trap is not a chain link with barb wire, it is them. they raised to her to never disobey them. she believes she is a good girl to do as they wish even if it hurts her. they have failed to teach her independence.
they will not allow her to get an id. they did not allow her to get a drivers license, they do not allow her to work, its amazing she is allowed to have a boyfriend. this is the kicker. she will be allowed to get an id if she signs up for independent student aid in college. so basically she has to choose between college help from her parents or being thrown head first in the end shallow end of the pool of adulthood.
to her credit she chose the swan dive. but I have to wonder is she ready? she's been sheltered and controlled up to this point. like a convict in a prison she hasn't really made any decisions for herself and had been lead around because she might do something bad. even convicts get a halway house to train for life on the outside.
the teen years is the halfway point. ideally you get the training for independence when you are a teen. its practically a tradition for teens to get a job and learn to handle their money while living under their parents. its not law and some parents control the teens and even take their money >.<' (which should be against federal law but I'll rant about that a little later) the point is the teen years need to be about learning independence.
my teenage sister in law for instance probably has the best mom in the friken world and I mean that. I'm not being biased here. while she is protective, her daughter has had these awesome opportunities to travel the world with her school and do all sorts of awesome things. this kid has seen more independence as a teen then I've ever had.
what was my point with this contrast? well for one parents need to teach their kids independence while they are kids. two things can mess up a kid always getting their way, and never getting their way. we have to accept that our kids will grow whether we like it or not. trying to control a legal adult by denying them their basic rights is criminal.
if this was a stranger abduction it would be illegal detaining a person against their will, coercion, criminal threatening, extortion, identity theft if you wanna get really a**l (the mother holds her security card. the girl is 18 give it to her to hold).
if this was a marriage it would be equivalent to an abusive spouse controlling his/her spouse at every turn, denying them money (whether s/he lets them work or not)controlling how they vote etc. but because its a parent no body cares.
I'm all for parents teaching their kids as they see fit but there comes a point where something is abuse. and refusing to let them learn how to take care of themselves then dropping them off to fend for themselves is a disaster waiting to happen and should be considered criminal neglect.
I bet the mentality is here she'll see what its like on the outside then come home to be their good little girl and take care of them until they die. which is pretty damn selfish when you consider she may very well be 40 when they die and she'd never have had a life of her own.
okay maybe I'm letting my train of thought runaway but thats what I do in my rants. you should know that by now. its just that after people have been brainwashed by their parents to never ever disobey them even when they are grown ups its hard to convince them to live their own lives. I seen like people like that. they could 50 years old their parents could be dead and they still can't recover.
Even as adults their parent still controls them, we call them momma's boys and there's the female equivalent I don't know what they are called but even as legal adults its hard to break away because they have this mentality that if they disobey it will ruin the family somehow and the parent will die alone and they owe their parent their lives so they stay submissive to them.
they call it a close knit family. I calling domineering and abusive. parents yeah I'm talk to you....are your kids legal adults now? have you been making all their decisions? cut it out! fix the mess you created and have them make their own choices. you had a perfect opportunity in their teen years to teach them to make good choices and you failed. back off now and don't you dare withhold any help they need because you can't control them any more. you owe it to your long term hostage to help them get to the point of independence. let your kid get their damn id. let them get a damn job and if necessary a drivers license. you don't have to buy them a car, they can get a second hand one, thats an important lesson too, as long as they have the knowledge and license to drive they have a lot more job opportunities. mass transit doesn't go every where and isn't all that reliable I should know I stood at what I thought was a bus stop (and why should I believe any different there was a sign and a seat saying so stressed ) in the fricken snow with a baby in a stroller. so yeah don't think for a second mass transit will sweep in and save your kid like superman. waiting for the bus at the wrong stop in the cold that long your kid could very well take a complete stranger up on a ride. I believe I discussed the results of that in an earlier rant. I'll sum it up. its a good way to get kidnapped, raped, and forced into prostitution.
so to sum it all up parents, lying and manipulation is not good parenting. teach your kids to be ******** early on instead of waiting to the last minute and saying "here's a bus ticket to new york and 3 bucks good luck". you don't have to pay for college if you can't afford it, there are student loans there are grants etc, you don't have to take out a second mortgage on your house, I'm not saying you have to do things that are impossible, but don't withhold your kids important documents/freedoms that they need in the world.
id is important. you can't board a bus, get a job, go in a federal building without id. if you are in an accident or have a medical emergency id helps them contact you faster. and don't say "oh I had her finger printed/id chiped etc when she was little." when trying to find victims/survivors in a terrorist attack/accident/natural disaster/missing persons case they look to see the list of people had shown id in the first place. you can't fingerprint or check an id chip of a body thats been incinerated/washed away/eaten/or otherwise missing. so you don't sit at home going "why doesn't she call? she knows I worry."
oh gee did I scare you? sorry but geeze. an id? what horrible thing can happen to her if she gets and carries an id? you can get it so it doesn't display your ss number and address. oh noes she can use an id to get in a club.... yeah but in most states/provinces she has to be 21 to drink. she's 18 deal with it. chances are she won't anyway because you brainwashed her to think that disobeying you will open up the heavens and she'll be cast down into the deepest depths of hell.
my god take a good hard look at what you did to your kid!
Jaithien Community Member 
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