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Pumpkinella's Journal
i just put random stuff in here
10/23/08
im slowly goin insane...i think i just lost my last link 2 sanity...ok this mite sound crazy but if it wasnt 4 gaia n my frends 1 of whom i mightve just lost, n she was basically th only 1 i talked 2 intimately n as i remind u again was my last link 2 sanity,i would probably b dead or in an insane asylum.i hope 2 hell she doesnt read this bcuz if she does she mite feel bad n i dont want her 2 feel bad ...
anywho i hav like no frends in my grade only 1 my age in rl i feel lonely sumtimes...n then my granpa just died...i dont get treated fairly in my family ,in my opinion, maybe it would be better if i just died mysteriously ive considered it b4 n not many ppl would miss me n th only reason im posting this publicly is cuz i kno no 1 reads it.

10/24/08
ok im better now...not fully sane yet but then again hu is?
ummm as u can probably tell im not dead lol
as far as i can tell,and im no psychiatrist so dont hold me to this,th above was a result of severe trauma and also the appex of that same trauma and the above entry is how i got rid of it,no im still alive so thats not how i got rid of th trauma,i write n it makes me feel better time helps 2 lol im gonna keep this entry to remind me how stupid i can b n how close ive come 2 death 4 god knos how many times
11/8/08
this shows me that i rly did go crazy or at least slide in2 depression 4 a lil while.again i shall play psychiatrist.my theory is that accumulative pressure and stress was th cause of this slide.ugh i hav way 2 much damn stress lawl esp 4 a teen im supposed 2 just relax n hang out yet sometimes i hav th mentality of an adult n wen lackin experience or wen just dealin wit kid things i overload.since ive found gaia i havent gone insane in like forever as ive sed ive done this b4 but apparently i hav some will 2 live n in bad times i hav no clue y but this is a good time so i do:my friends.if it wasnt 4 them i would b long dead by now,this world gets lonely n unjust n wen that happens u either laff it off or go 2 ur friends i dont tell my friends bout my problems they shouldnt hav 2 deal wit them sumtimes i think theyr 2 big 4 me let alone them.but yea eventually my frends drag me bac 2 sanity tho they dont kno it.

kaieunown13
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