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after being raised in the jewish religon i am tired of no options in worship. seriously you have no options. in monthestic religons there is only one god. so that is only one chance at salvation, this one god in the span of time the human race has been around, (don't even get me started on adam and eve and incest) god has chosen one set of people, this one set of people he's chosen where sent by him to destroy other cities of people just because they denied him. they were allowed to use the women and children as they pleased. they were the spoils of war. can you imagine being a child, seeing your older brothers and father murdred, then being tied by your hands with other children in the same boat then enslaved by some sick basterd who then told you that god had told them to do these things to you? you know, don't deny that alot of these kids were raped.

this was a male god, aparently the only god. according to christains i have no choice but to serve this god and love this god or i go to hell. what the ********?
you know he hates women, if adam ate that stupid apple first would he have treated us better? none of that being lower on the importance chance then a ******** ox?

so i turn to wicca assured that this is a really ancient religon so being older then the christain god i could put my self in her hands and she can protect me. well guess what the christains are telling me that i'm being lied to and that i'm really serving satan. gonk add that to the fact that i find wicca isn't that old after all but at least mother earth is really old.
like i can trust random humans. so they ******** with my mind. they tell me that god sent them to tell me this and my frustration is really a sign that god is trying to reach me and satan has good grip on me. but i don't believe in satan i say,
thats okay, they tell me, he believes in me and he's very much real. gonk

what the hell is satan really? aparently he's a fallen angel sent to hell or earth by god for rebelling. he hates god and us so much that he wants to drag us to hell with him.

i had a boyfriend in the past that tried to control me using the fear of satan, even though religously i wasn't suposed to believe in him. he'd tell me that he really wanted my sould he can just come and take it, or if some tries to make me sign my name with a red pen its really my blood and that really satan trying to get me to sign over my soul. i had to hit rock bottom before i'd be able to chuck his a** out. you'd think i'd be stronger after that.

so now i got christains coming to me, telling me that i must recieve jesus as my personal savior. now i'm even dreaming about it. of course that means god is trying to reach me, or does it mean that my poor brain is reacting to the massive amount of religous stress that i'm under. i wish wiccans prostyitzed. or at lest had a supoort group. i feel i'm loosing my religon. that i'm going to be put back in a spirital cage where i have no options.

religously i was happy for ten years learning wicca. comuning with the gods, the spirits, the earth. there are so many options. women are as important as men and have the same rights. we are empowered. we aren't sex toys and perminate fixtures in the kitchen. well in america we haven't been for a while but finally i have a religon that feels the same way. besides there used to be tribes were women ruled, sure we had our place but we weren't expected to be quiet about it and we had a say in who we married. some of us were expected to fight and be warriors too.

so many gods and godesses care for so many things. some look over justice, some look over warroirs like cops and soliders, some look out for mothers and fertilty and children and animals... i can talk to so many of them and they have their dark sides yes but they aren't that scary, they aren't the only option either. i really feel that my phyiscal needs are cared about too.

if i were to become a christain it would be because he is the only god and i can't bear the thought that the people i've known and loved in my life won't be going to a beautiful happy place regardless of how kind they were, because they did not pray to jesus to wash away their sins and stop whatever it is that they were doing that was considered a sin.

and what the hell is a sin? why did god create sin and make so many stupid things sins? why is being gay a sin? why is witchcraft a sin? magic comes from the godess, god doesn't even have a gender. god comes to us in whatever form makes us most comfortable. if you feel comfortable with a handsome young man wearing robes and sporting long hair and a beard, then thats what you see, if you are comfortable with a funny man with two little horns on his head with goats legs and pan pipes then thats what you see, if you believe god is a warror woman or you need to see a woman old and grey then that what you see, people are convinced that their path to heaven is the destination, that they try to make others see their version of god. they are convinced that everyone must see it their way to be truly happy.

but i'm not happy, i hate the possibilty that my father would be someplace horrible. yeah he had problems with people near the end, but dammit he was a good man. he just got depressed and didn't take care of himself. he doesn't deserve to be sent somewhere bad. i know christains mean well but they are so wrapped in their belifes that they don't realize or even care about the pain they cause others. they are convinced that if they tell people about christ and those people convert then all the pain they caused with their scare tatics won't matter.

yeah well if the christain god is the only one, i'd rather be someplace bad with the people i love then trapped in heaven alone. its not fair to expect every human to believe other failable humans when they come by with a book that was written and re-written even changed by failable humans. oh and don't even bother arguing against the bible accuracy using the bible because after telling you that the bible is infailable they will tell you that the devil can quote squripture. and you're like "did you just call me the devil?"

ever hear about people that have near death experinces? they see the afterlife and for the most part come back enlightened and feeling better about life. they saw god in their own way. once a lady who's native american nearly died went to heaven and was confused. she was told her entire life by bigots that she would go to hell because she was an indian. she asked about it and saint peter told her that as long as you have a belife system that you can enter heaven. sometimes i wonder if i had a near death experience would i met god and find out everything is okay. or if i do have to change my ways. i wanna know and i wanna hear it from the horse's mouth.

in conclusion, i quote a bumper sticker