So. Yesterday, Shadow and I broke up. What a wonderful Christmas present, it was. It was just to stressful for me and I couldn't handle it anymore. Honestly, she's always saying things like "Sleeping with Danny" and bringing up KB all the time. Now, I love KB. She's so nice and someone I can really talk to but when Shadow rants on and on about her that really hurts me. Who is she supposed to rant about? ME. Not her Ex-Girlfriend. -sigh- So. I was not happy. We ended up fighting quite a bit and I decided..I don't think I really loved her loved her. For awhile I'm certain I did but it just seemed...to die. After all that has happened I'm just...glad its over. For now, atleast. To many things were different with us. I still love her, of course...but I don't know if its the romantic sort of love anymore.
I think she was trying to get me to break up with her, really. So she wouldn't have to do it to hurt me. I think thats why she kept mentioning the condoms and Danny and that other guy and KB and some girl named Sarah who apparently killed herself because Shadow "loved" me. Oh yeah, great girlfriend isn't she? Not my fault - even though she convientaly said it was. Well, she never SAID it but thats not the point. OH. And every email she wrote to me had something like; I miss you. I miss KB too. Is that supposed to make me feel better? NO. NO. NO. And it killed me every ******** time.
I didn't cry as much as I thought I would. For a little while, I did...but now I'm just glad I can try and think about me and me getting better rather then worrying so much about her. I worry about her all the time and it wasn't reflected from her to me. Now, I'm going to concentrate on me and try to get better for myself...
I miss her...but theres nothing I can do about it right now. Maybe some other time...we can try again.
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