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why can't I stop loving her? Why do I always have to ******** up when it comes to her and drive her away? Why is she still with him instead of me? I've been driving myself crazy with these thoughts, and I can't stop, I still love her and I can't stop, I just want to be happy with her again, but now I don't think that will ever happen and it tears me apart inside.

Why do I hurt so much? I can't stop shaking and I miss her so badly, it feels like it's killing me inside, and there's nothing I can do because she doesn't want to be with me anymore. My life feels so messed up right now, and like things are never going to be right in the world again. Why do I have to feel this way? Why do I do this to myself? I wish I could just stop caring, and maybe oneday I'll find love again, yet I still want that love to be her even if it will never happen again.

Why does life have to be full of so much pain,and what really is the point in going on? I've found the person that felt like my soul mate and I've lost her, I don't really see a point anymore. I just want to curl up and let life pass me by, there is no real point in going on anymore. Just being friends with her hurts me too, because I get to see what I want to be with, and never get to be with it again, I have no idea what's going on anymore, or where my life will take me, I just want all the stress and drama to end. Why can't he just stay with her or dump her already, and why does he have to use me as an excuse to leave her, it just makes her hate me more. Yes I got mad at him when it started, but if it did feel wrong the entire time like he says it did, why the hell did he have sex with her and stay with her for so long if it was wrong? I feel like he's full of crap and he's just tiring of her and wants to get a new sex toy in his life.

I guess I'll just spend my days alone now, I don't really have hope for love or relationships anymore. I just feel like I'm going to be used until someone better comes along and takes the person away from me, so what's the point in trying? I've been so lonely lately, I think I just want to feel loved again.

"Better Than Me"

I think you can do much better than me
After all the lies that I made you believe
Guilt kicks in and I start to see
The edge of the bed
Where your nightgown used to be
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

While looking through your old box of notes
I found those pictures I took
That you were looking for
If there's one memory I don't want to lose
That time at the mall
You and me in the dressing room
I told myself I won't miss you
But I remembered
What it feels like beside you
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me

The bed I'm lying in is getting colder
Wish I never would've said it's over
And I can't pretend that I won't think about you when I'm older
Cause we never really had our closure
This can't be the end
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
I really miss your hair in my face
And the way your innocence tastes
And I think you should know this
You deserve much better than me
(And I think you should know this)
(You deserve much better than me)