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Well I haven't started crying right now. Thankfully.. but doesn't mean i am not really sad and depressed.

I was just downstairs and my Bf's computer was acting up and when I came up he said he should go. I was said and sort of showed it but I don't know if he knew and if he didn't in a way that is good because I don't want him to think like he did something wrong and feel upset because when this has happened before it wasn't a good thing. But I mean Yes I was said that he was leaving and I am always like that.

It had to do that We really didn't talk much or it seemed that. I dunno it felt that way to me.. so I was sad when he left.. Which I am always. It's not fair that we can't just see each other, I really did wish I could see him at least once a month just him and me. But that can not happen... I think I be lucky if I saw him at least four times more this year.

I'd hoped to ask him over on some of the long weekends when we both had the same days off of school.. but now that'll never happen and probally wouldn't have because of other things.. I can't even see him on Halloween.. one night I did wish I could see him it's been a tradition... even if it's only two years but I usually go out to my friends house then go to their school. But that tradition was short lived..

But I guess one has to say oh well, thats how life is even though it sucks and such.