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well just a few days ago my girlfriend decided to go 'on a break' before this all she did was hang out with a guy that used to be like a brother to me and talk to him all the time down in Vancouver. I've been up north working trying to save money for us to live, but I was starting to get unerved by how much she talked to him, or hung out with him, even when I phoned if he was on the other line he took priority over me.

I talked to her about this and she decided to go 'on a break' and that night she slept over at his house. She told me that nothing happened and I believe her, but I think it is only a matter of time before something does happen if it hasn't already. He seems to make her happy, I just hope she doesn't get hurt because he is a porn addict and she doesn't like it when her significant other watches porn.

Today I decided that our break is going to be permanent and it was the hardest thing I ever did, now it feels like my heart is missing completely instead of just the absent ache that has been there since she moved away. I think though it was the right decision, he can make her happier than I can and it's for the best that I never see either of them again, it'll hurt me even worse to see her happy with someone else and I can be a very jealous man.

I still love her so much that just thinking about her makes me want to cry, I hope that changes in time. I hope she has a happy life, but I don't think it should be with me anymore. Things always seem to go bad between us right after they seem great. I'm getting tired and worn thin, I don't know if I could take another relationship like that, perhaps it's for the best that I stay single and alone for a long time, things are less complicated that way.

I don't want to feel like the person I love will just drop me when it becomes inconvient to have me around or when they find someone better, yet that seems to be the way of the world. Heh, I just noticed one of the new emoticons and it seems to be an image of me emo looks like I'm emo inside.

Oh well life goes on, I guess I will just have to try and adapt to this change and find a new plan for my future, I just hope I did the right thing.