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Melissa's Diary Just saying

Community Member
Dear....Diary? Journal? Perhaps audience? Or maybe reader?
Well I guess I wanted to write in my journal because I don't really have anyone to talk to. I feel like maybe just letting everything that is cooped up go...maybe that will help me feel a little better.
When I was little I always wanted to be a princess. I would watch Beauty and The Beast regularly and I would act the scences out as a little girl. Growing up I believed that life is a fairy tale. That Magic happens. That it did exist and there were just too many people that didn't believe in it. As I grew older the term magic changed from something impossible to something that was more possible. That magic wasn't about a beast changing into a man or a mermaid chaning into a human. Magic was about a feeling you got from someone you love.The spouse that I want to be is someone who is dedicated. I am a very conservative person. It has always been in my heart. It is something that I'm sure that I have taken a little from my surroundings and a little from my personal lessons of life. When I was younger I believed that there was only ONE person that you could love in your life. The person who is just for me. Someone who perfectly matches with me. I have learned that love is much more complicated than that. That there is such a wide variety of people, in a way that it is almost unimaginable. Giving your heart to one man in your life time...well its practicly a miracle if the relationship lasts. Men don't exactly have it in their intentions to make you happy. To be honest with you. To keep you safe. To be there no matter what. They forget about you. They use you. They lie to you. They give up on you. They take advantage of you. To some men you are just a tool to better their lives and to make them happy. Your own personal feelings are not in the picture. No matter how much you love them. How hard you work to be a great girlfriend. How beautiful you are. They don't care. All they care about is themselves. I'm a princess waiting in my tower. I've been waiting so long. So many princes have come to my tower but not one has climbed it. I'm not important enough to do that for. Not one prince wants to work to be the man I need. I'm willing to give my prince my heart. I'm willing to work hard at the relationship. I'm willing to make them as happy as I can. I'm willing to be loyal. All I want is to make the man I love happy. To be there for the rest of his life and always love him. But I've tried. I've given my heart to many men. The outcome is always the same. It's rejected. It's broken. It's forgotten. It's ignored. I'm too delicate to deal with this. Alone in my tower I'm hopeless. My only companion is my tears and broken heart. Where are you my prince. I am waiting for you. Waiting for one you to love me. Love me for the rest of our lives.

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