Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals


View User's Journal

Hidden Truths
we all have a time we need to let others know what we're feeling, or sometimes to help us we have journals or diaries to write our feelings and personal thoughts in. Its true for us all This is my place to write those inner most secrets, feelings, an
I feel everything shattering around me slowly, as if I am trying too hard. I want to retract into my mind and

avoid all the screams directed at me, those sounds my mind makes me believe are real, haunting me,

frightening me, telling me how much of a monster I am. AM I slowly tearing myself apart..? I feel like

everything is out of place, like I’ve done something wrong to disturb some balance in the universe. I wish to

be held in his arms told everything will be okay, but I do not push it, for I know it would by fate, somehow,

push him away. I am to confide in these stuffed beasts for now, and their words have faded from

compliments of sheer kindness to utter insults and cruel commentary. Occasions still arise when I hear soft

spoken sweet nothings from the voices, but I know it’s simply in my head, my mind trying to delude me into

a false security…These voices, me talking to myself, its all just a substitute for real people that shows how

lonely I truly feel. Kida makes it seem so much better… he makes me feel like maybe somehow I can be

something of importance. I don’t know how to explain it sometimes, but he is always the one telling me

things will turn out okay. He may not be physically with me, but he gives me so much, he uplifts me and my

spirits, I can feel him spiritually almost all the time, I feel his pain, his sorrow, his happiness, his

annoyance, and every last emotion and pain he feels. I know its silly but somehow he and I are connected,

and I hate when I make him feel pain, I feel both our pain then… that overbearing pain is so full of sadness

and hurt, it makes me wish to erase all the unhappiness from him, One day I hope to give that gift to him. I

would rather take all my happiness and replace it with his sorrow, so that he could be completely happy all

the time. I would give up my being for him, I know its going a bit far when I say so, but he would do the

same, so there is nothing wrong with what I say. I love him… and I will do whatever it takes to make him

happy, I will change myself, I will do anything he wants, I will prove to the world I can be a perfect wife to

Kida and that we are prefect for one another! I will stay strong though all of out pain and I will never give up

on our love until the day I die, I will, just to see him smile genuinely at me. Kida… I love you.

Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum