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Umi's journal
as if I owe you any explination. I believe it's quite obvious.
I wonder, do you hate me?
What do you do when the only one who can make you feel better is the one who made you cry?

I can't tell you the truth anymore.
Not because I don't want to,
But because the truth will make you run away
You'll turn from me
You won't come back
And without you, I have nothing
I've turned my back on everything else
Was that foolish of me?
You wanted to be the only thing that mattered, now you are
But now I'm at my breaking point.
I wonder, do you hate me?
When you turn away without saying goodbye,
When you stride off without a second glance
You get angry at me, that burning silence
I don't understand.
It kills me.
It breaks me apart, slowly, bit by bit
And I call you still, somehow believing, hoping,
That some miraculous change will have occurred
You'll say that you love me
You'll kiss my eyes and everything will be better
The course of love never did run smooth
And we've had our share of barriers
Did they finally succeed?
Have these things finally pushed you away from me?
Do you hate me?
If so, why do you stay?
Is it because, somehow, I'm the only thing you have?
If you leave me, you'll be alone.
Like me?
Or is it something else?
What am I to you?
A safety net? A fall back? Insurance?
Even just a shoulder to cry on?
Do you love me, I wonder?
Do either of us even know?
Love and hate are so similar
Maybe I hate you
If I do, I hate you too much
Far too much to ever let go of it.
It consumes me.
I'm dying.
You're killing me in a cruel, painful and horrible way.
Back and fourth, like a restless sea
You're happy one moment, furious the next
I wish that you'd hit me
Strike me, knock me down
Make me bleed, do anything to me
But not this.
But not this.
This is torture.
What have I done?
What have I failed?
I beg and scream in my mind for you to turn around,
Look at me, say something.
Please, say something.
Tell me what I've done wrong, so I can fix it.
You're all that's left of me
If you're gone, what is left?
I'm drowning in the tears that refuse to fall
I'm chocking on not knowing,
I'm addicted to you
I'll die, though.
You're killing me.
Slowly, slowly,
You're ripping me to pieces.
I'll smile and laugh, do anything
to get you to laugh, to grin
You're tearing me to shreds.
If you want me gone so badly, please,
just kill me.
The truth I can't tell you,
Is that I don't know how to deal with you.
I don't know how to make you better,
How to make you happy
No matter what I do, it doesn't seem enough.
I cry and I scream in my mind
But it's all the same to you.
It's all the same to us.
It will never be the same to me.

User Comments: [2] [add]
Commander Mars
Community Member
commentCommented on: Mon Nov 02, 2009 @ 09:56pm
I can't believe I never read this. It hurts my heart, but it also makes me happy....is that really bad?

commentCommented on: Fri Nov 13, 2009 @ 04:28pm
Uhm, I don't think it's really bad.

Karime Blackwing
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
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