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The Trident War
This where my story is going to get recorded, I may not post in regulation but hopefully enough people will read my story
Episode One - The End?
A man started to cough a little as he started to stand up he looked to be in his late teens or early twenties of age with medium length hair which was dyed black. His clothing style is very casual, he wore a black fitted shirt with a weird design and a thin black jacket, we wore fitted jeans and some converse. Very simple and casual during these times but time was forever lost in the city.

Another man appeared out of no where who was wearing some sort of battle gear grabbed the other and slammed him against a wall "Well, I have to admit. You have gotten a bit better...But not enough to kill me" The man with the battle gear said as he started to laugh a little but soon stopped once he started to feel the ground rumble beneath him "What is this!?" The Battle-Ready man yelled as he was suddenly knocked back "They were right" The man took a step back as the rumbling grew stronger "Your power is very much needed....Leon" The man added as Leon started to walk towards him, everything getting pushed away from him "This time...I won't run away" Leon said in a dark tone.

The man simply laughed as Leon was getting closer "What a cheesy line...you need to think of something better before the climax of battle" The man said as he closed his eyes "I hope you live long enough to feel this deep and agonizing pain" The Man said as dust now covered the surrounding area




~Sometime Earlier~





Leon groaned and slowly opened his eyes to the sound of a distant explosion "...Another explosion?" he said quietly as he stood up and dusted himself off and yawned a little as he noticed that the city as slightly more ruined than last week "I guess it's time to eat" he said as he hopped down the small pile of mattresses he made the day before and walked over to a sewer hole and opened it. He climbed down and walked a little until he came across a door with a lock on it, He took out a key he had in his pocket and unlocked the door and opened it "Good, no one got into my stash" he said as he scanned the room for anything unusual to him but after a minute he declared that everything checked out as he opened what it looked to be like a safe and pulled out a box of cereal and closed the container.

He locked up the room after walking out and climbed back up to the surface "I wonder if anyone even knows about what's going on" he said to himself then put a handful of cereal in his mouth as he started to walk towards the core of the city.

After about an hour he finally made it to the core of the city and started to walk around there a bit, he tossed the empty cereal box aside and sighed "I guess nothing here that can tell me what's going on" he said but soon after not too far from him he heard someone yell and a large pile of concrete flew high in the air "s**t!" Leon yelled as he dodged the raining concrete and looked over to where the yelling came from and noticed a shadowy figure fly off into a building and disappear "Who the hell was that?" He said out loud.

He hadn't seen anything like that before and was stunned in shock to see something like that suddenly happen right beside him but he finally snapped out of it when he heard someone coming from behind him and turned around to see the shadowy figure stand before him. Leon couldn't speak as he looked into the nothingness of the figures hood with fear and in despair he turned around to run but this creature was already in his path and without even moving had stabbed Leon many times even before Leon could react.

Leon fell to the ground, blood started to pool around him as he faded to black "Pathetic." The Shadow boldly stated before walking away.

A child wandered around the area a few minutes after this event occurred "Oh my gosh!" The child exclaimed, he appeared to be around 10 to 15 years old, he looked a lot older than he is suppose to be due to unknown reasons.

The child ran over to Leon and checked his pulse "...Barely..." he said quietly as he picked him up with great ease and ran off northeast



~Episode One End~







Notes: Leon's room filled with food was an idea I got from Futurama, there was a scene of Fry's past where Fry's Dad put a giant crate of bananas in the bomb shred because he feared that after a nuclear blast, they would be turned into monkeys


Author's Comments: I don't think I did this one well. But then again it's only the beginning and I do have to start somewhere don't I?






User Comments: [2] [add]
Ana Yamazaki
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sun Jul 05, 2009 @ 02:36am
Its slightly confusing. I like how you start with a later scene and move on to the story. personally I would have made this a first person rather than a third because of the events, but hey we all work different. I suggest you tr to continue Leon's rescue a little and maybe end it soon after Leon is healed or aided so that the next chapter can be him waking up. Also add a bit more description to the surroundings,like are the buildings charred, are there broken windows, are there corpses or stains, things like that cuz it puts the reader right there in the story you get me? That's my suggestion, all in all the first episode was short but well written.


commentCommented on: Sun Jul 05, 2009 @ 07:49pm
I have to agree with Ana, because it is kinda short. But I think you could be a great writer someday if you keep this up and if you want to become a writer >.<



Simple Imperfection
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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