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All these words run through my head and I only seem to grasp a few,
Most of these words are about you despite all these things we've gone through,
That night you showed up I was happier then what I could show,
Now I partly wish that never happened when I get the chance to sit and think about it,
When I don't get the chance to think I am glad that it happened since I got to see the face and see the body in motion behind what I heard through a speaker for so long.
I still believe and knew it when I seen the face that the memories in my head are true but I believe that in that state of time it was either that choice or something I didn't want to a extreme.
Back then you were better,
In that time you were something that I wanted and really didn't want to be without.
I see now that the test of time has taken it's toll on you but I really hope that a shorter test of time will be fortunate to your mind.
As you say you stand by my side as my friend the memories still play through my head briefly in my sleep.
I done so many things for you and opened myself up so much I know now that is why it is so hard for me do so again.
As I took to my own thoughts for a few days I heeded someone new's words and took to the decision to re-evaluate all the friends that I do have near me.
Someone who said they would never leave my side stepped away faster then what I could even comprehend for a few days.
Inside my only reaction was just to sob myself tired and to slip away into those tears.
I said good bye for the last time to a few people near me and one of which is of one who hurt me more then what I even realized to a small degree.
I now am set on a goal to try and repair the damage that he done.
Now I sit with someone else by my side and inside and out I am changing.
I am not changing for a bad but finally for a good that I longed for so long.
I am finally pieceing the real me back together and finally am able to say with a smile on my face that despite others words that I am becoming whole again and hopefully will for a long time.
My darkness disappearing,
The light coming through,
No side of either taking over but comeing to a stand still.
That of me.
The real me.
The me that is showing again
The start of the biggest degree is putting it in these words for all to read.