I need to keep up with this damn blog better. Anyway, I'm almost eighteen...and I'm scared to death. I shouldn't be an adult thats like Bush being God...not right. I'm not ready to face the real world hell I'm not ready to face high school and I'm alomst done! I've been getting by so long...and it's all gonna end soon. I just would like a sign of some sort to tell me I'm not gonna ******** up my life. I have a boyfriend who loves me and he shows me the upmost hope in me. I don't wanna disappoint him. I could care less what the world thinks of me. The whole world could be against me and I'd wouldn't give a falling ********. I'd lay back and watch my life fade away....but I can't because I have some one who does care. Who tells me every chance he gets that he has faith in me. Faith can go a long way. And I realized not too long ago...I have to have faith in me to. My problem is I don't. I truly don't wanna disappoint the one person I know for a fact believes in me. But I have to trust myself that if I start to drown I can swim back up......ever feel like your stuck in puase and can't do anything about it. My childhood has gone and past. I'm at the peck of my teenage lifestyle....and in three or four years maybe I'll start acting like the adult I should be. I just don't wanna be a ******** and I don't wanna watch myself become a ******** and the only way to do that is to man up and be the idenpent woman I could and should be......God I don't think I can....I wish Iwasn't so doubtful and I don't think a shrink could help......I'm such a headcase.
So-meKittyKat Community Member 
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