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welcome to my journal yet again, if you're a first time reader well... i'm really sure what to say to you but good luck in the utter chaos that is my life. this time i'm thinking why am i me?... really why am i the person i am today? i can sit here thinking about it for hours.. but i'm not going to, i'm too lazy... but back to the point i just sit here doing basically nothing when i could be doing somehting productive like studying or doing homework that i seem to keep putting off. but no my mind just keeps saying "screw it you can take care of it at the last second" and i hate that about myself... but i don't try to change it i just let it go and move on with the next thing. and so my pointless life moves on. another thing. does my life really matter? really i never see myself create a difference to well anyone i just don't see it. i just move from one thing to the next not looking to see the consequences good or bad because i know what they are and they won't change anything they just have a simple reply and don't really mean anything really do i mean anything to anyone? that's one thing i really want to know...