I think I'm going mad. ********, I must be.. that would be a comfort though. To know that something really was wrong with me... Now I know nothing. No one wants to help and I'm slipping.. I know I have good moments, but my downfalls are getting worse. I just feel like crying. But whatever I do, no tears wants to fall... All I want is to cut, just press the blade real deep. No suicide.. Just deep, splitting pain.
But stil, I don't wanna go to my boyfriend with it either. He doesn't know what to say anymore. God, how I feel so sorry for him. For having to take all of this. I know it's not easy... God, I just want someone to give me a.. a goal, a motivation for finishing school. Cause I see no good coming out of it... I only see me, getting worse, and dragging everyone else with me.
Can't I just snap out of this? I don't wanna be like this anymore!! Eight freakin years is enough. At least for this little girl....
/J
Ispahan · Tue Sep 27, 2005 @ 01:55am · 1 Comments |