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There's three of us. Aaron, myself, and....it

That's all it is; an IT

it's neither a solid a liquid nor a gas yet there it is....a black mass in my soul....the self doubt and mutilation....

Aaron has been warning me not to set myself up for another attack and I thought he meant from my parents or my teachers or any body else but no, he meant from it

Aaron is an evil violent jack a** but he's an evil violent jack a** that cares for me. . .us. . .this body!

I WILL BEAT IT

This is the ghost that has been watching over my shoulder ever since I was a child. The thing that I've always been afraid of. . .no more. . .I will find a way to kill this monster. . .

oh, you see, Aaron takes my body heat away from me because the light and the heat make it fall back into the shadows of my soul and when Aaron comes out and releases all that heat, he's too angry to let it come out. The heat is so intense and the angry so terrible that it just stays away in the shadows....it's when I'm alone and thinking to much about one thing that it comes out and adds to the self doubt. It gets so bad that I feel bad for feeling good then feel even worse for feeling bad and so on and so forth. That's it ! It's doing that to me.

I see now what I must do. I am human and humans are not perfect. Humans are selfish. I am no longer held down by it. . .and in time I'm sure Aaron will move on. When I can handle this . . .this. . .thing on my own. Or when it is gone for good.