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what am I going to do. . .I just don't know anymore
everything has gone from bad to worse to beyond anything you could have ever though possible. Nothing is working and now I'm quitting school, the one place where I could be with my pack. I promised to protect them no matter what pain I had to go though and now. . .now I'm abandoning them for my own selfish wants. But I just can't go on with that life. For all my life I've tried and tried but I never seem to get anywhere. It's like the whole world is changing but I'm not...or not allowed to. These people I'm suppose to call parents have held me back since the day I was born. They've refused to listen to me, I was only an object not a person, and she admits to that. Mom told me that herself. She's afraid of him, my dad but she won't leave. So I've been stuck living this life of confusion and pain because she's a coward. THEN THEY BLAME IT ALL ON ME!!!! I just can't take it anymore. Teacher assigning project after project, speech after speech, worksheets and tests and quizzes while at home I'm forced to be the parent because they're to afraid and arrogant and ignorant to do their job. and I just don't have the time nor the energy for all of that while keeping my friends in line. Some do drugs others turn to sex while still others have tried to take their lives. I WILL keep my promise to them but first I need everything to stop while I figure some things out! It basically comes down to I hate waiting. I've spent my whole life sitting in a desk, doing meager work, and having to ask to do anything. I've never been free yet this is the land of the free....no, it's the land of the free for those over the age of 18. I'm not going to do it anymore! I'm going to go out and use this time God has given me! He only gave me...us...a short life time to work though everything and thanks to those people I've wasted so much time!!!!!! and for what!?! nothing, my whole life has been in vain. I want to change that but I can't do that sitting behind a desk and raising my hand to to go the bathroom! People keep telling me to grow up but I can't do that if they won't let me! Why does no one listen....do they think just because I'm not 18 that that means I have nothing worth while to say?! That just because I'm interested in anime and manga that means I'm unintelligent?!? I'm not saying I'm the smartest person alive but I do know how to survive on my own and I've proved that countless times. I'm not going to do this alone, I have my pack to help me. They've helped me so much and I'll gladly die for anyone of them, if people will only let me! Please, just let me grow up and become who I am meant to be, don't stick me in a class room doing pointless things that won't benefit me later in live. Don't judge me just because of how I look or what a record says, judge me on my character....Marten Luther King Jr. said the same thing...how come when he said it people cheered and applauded but when a child in the eyes of the government says it they look down on that person and tell them to run along and "stay in school"

all I have to say is this, if you're going to tell me to grow up, let me.






User Comments: [3] [add]
InsanePsycho91
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Apr 24, 2008 @ 04:24am
I'm here for you. You know that. I'm sorry that I left school. I know leaving you and everyone else behind wasn't the best idea, but I know you're stonger than you look. Hang in there Angie. I'll always be here for you.


commentCommented on: Thu Apr 24, 2008 @ 05:19pm
Yo Aniki It's Jin(Namikaze_Kyubii_Naruto) just want to say one thing, cause I know how you feel, evey word of it...but just don't do anything you'll regret, stay in school, don't throw it away cause people put you down, or someone holds you back. Set your mind on what you love and hold onto it. Like me I set my mind on my art and that pretty much, along with a few friend, have kept me alive and away from doing something I knew I'd regret...Just don't do anything that would make othters cry...I had a friend who did, 4 years ago, and I still cry when ever I think of him. Your my friend, and I'll do what I can to help you out. If you ever need anything talk to me, and I'll help in what ever way I can.
-Deiruji



Grim_Soul_Banisher
Community Member
Violet Vengance
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Thu Apr 24, 2008 @ 10:56pm
Angie. I'm with Amanda. Do whatever the frick you have to do...I'm behind you 110%. You haven't been my friend for 8 years for nothing.


heart heart heart


User Comments: [3] [add]
 
 
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