Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

 
 

View User's Journal

The Black Velvet Book of 'S'
User Image
Life's course-a short story from life to death-
I awoke in the morning to find I knew nothing of the previous day. It was as though I'd just awoken for the first time in my life. I was young, only five, and thought nothing of it. But my mind drew me back to when I awoke. Try as I might, I could remember nothing of my past life. Had I been hit upon the hed, causing me serious amnesia? No. I was not sore. I had no markings. But still. Why do I fell so lifeless yet walking, breathing and living as I do now? Though I knew nothing of what happened the day before, I knew who I was, who my mother was and her name when I saw her. Whn eshe smiled I felt warm inside and her embrace.
That was then...This is now. Now, I am no longer Five years old. I am now fifthteen. And I awake every day, wondering, What am I doing here? Who am I? What am I? Is this the real world or have my entire life just been one big twisted dream between a nightmare and a fantasy in my mind? I've many times sat in school, and wondered if any of the things I learn really are true or just things faulsified? I sometimes wonder, Am I who everyone says I am? What if I'm just a figments of my own imagination? What if non of this is real and I am just the puppet in the dream of someone elses mind, wandering an imaginary world?
When I am not thinking these things, I stare out into the distance and wonder, what is beyond that horizon? Is there a place for me where I blong that no other man has ever set foot on? Will I ever set foot out of this world call life? My talents as a thinker takes me far, giving me abilities beyond that of many. I set pencil to paper and create art. But then I think to myslef later, Did I really do this? Surely not. I'm not this good...My art seems like that of someone different. Or perhaps the art io draw isn't really there and I am just imagining it lik eeverything else around me. I sometimes wish I could just fall asleep and never awaken, as I have for the past years. I am dreaming now and so are you...none of this is real...we are but an on going dream, a fantasy...Or maybe we are really awake and just think we are draming. Someone wake me up. This life I live may not be compared to that of those who have suffered alot, but to me, life is an ongoing nightmare that will never end. It goes on and on and on...a dream with in a dream you could say. Like when you have a dream and you wake up, and you thought you really did what you dreampt, but find out that you are still dreaming and are far from the end and may never reach it...just like death...some of us die, and some of us don't. those who don't die are those who are still with in their dreams...like me....I may seem dead...but my journey has but only begun...I go from door to door in this maze called life, serching for the real me. First I am a man and then I wake up and I am a woman and then I wake up again and I am a man again... I may know what I am...but I must know who I am....Awaken me from this faulsehood and show me the truth...am I human, am I a ghost...Am I a robot, a cyborg...What am I come first...who am I comes second, as most improtant...

At the end of my life, I plan to go to god, who ver god is, if he is even real, and ask him who I am. and then let him do with me as he pleases. for to me, there is no hell and no heaven, and no earth...only the places in between...





 
 
Manage Your Items
Other Stuff
Get GCash
Offers
Get Items
More Items
Where Everyone Hangs Out
Other Community Areas
Virtual Spaces
Fun Stuff
Gaia's Games
Mini-Games
Play with GCash
Play with Platinum