• Of course, being a freshman, i had some new classmates. There was him, Jayvee. He was quiet at first. I was kind of ashamed that we (my old female classmates) were only talking to the new girls so i took up my courage and asked him his name and where he came from. We didn't talk much. I ran out of questions. But surprisingly he adapted quickly just after a day. Being classmates, we got closer. One day, he asked me who was Daryl. I was surprised he asked 'cause Daryl was my boyfriend. And when i told him that, he started to get in a bad mood. I didn't want to expect something about that reaction so i just ignored him. We ate together, and always went to our house to chat and relax. I was half-asleep on the ground when they started to talk about crushes. I didn't want to join so i pretended to sleep. Then, my classmates asked Jayvee who his first crush was. My body felt stiff. I couldn't move. It was my name. He said my name. I continued to pretend to sleep 'cause i know they'll definitely tease me. I don't like to be teased 'cause i easily blush. I don't really think of him as more of a friend so it was no big deal and he said i was his crush but when he knew about Daryl he had a new crush. We cheered him on but he got dumped so i guess on to a new one then. I actually broke up with Daryl to make time for my friends. I'm happy to be single...or so i thought. Then, my other male classmate, Mel, talked to Jayvee about Arra. My cousin. Sure, i was pretty but she was on a higher level. She looked like an angel and walked like a model. I'm not exaggerating. She was so pretty that even the upper levels were insecure. She was being bullied. It wasn't that harsh but it was bad. I really want to back them off for being like that to my cousin. I also admire her because of her beauty and we were kind of close friends. Whenever i hear bad things about her, i always clear things up even if some may be true. She's family. Anyways, Mel told Jayvee what he thinks about Arra, he replied "She's okay.". I thought to myself, she's OKAY!? Just okay?! I bet he was just joking when he said that. But you know when you knew somebody likes you, you'll probably develop feelings. That's what exactly happened. They gone out. He even told us stories about how they held hands. I was happy, and again, we cheered him on. My best friend, Janelle, asked me if i was okay with that. I was surprised. "I'm fine. Why wouldn't i be?" I smiled. She had a worried face. Ah. She must have noticed. It's nice to have a best friend, after all. She noticed it. My feelings. I like him. I definitely do. I told her, "It's fine. As long as they're happy. It's only a crush anyways." That's what i said. Then i started to tell myself that i like Mel. Not Jayvee. That's what i always told myself. Funny, right? Lying to myself. sweatdrop How lame. Then they broke up. I wasn't happy. Why? I started to ask myself. He cried but she didn't. She was the one who broke it off. I asked her, "Why?". She replied , emotionless, "I don't like him anymore." Simple as that. But i knew why. I've always known. She was in love with Mel. Like i said, when you know somebody likes you, you develop feelings for her. In Arra's case, it's a definite yes. She even told Mel I love you. How sweet is that? Bitterness and hate overcomes me and i forget to feel the sweetness. The bitterness on how she just threw him aside. The guy i love, just like that. Why didn't i have met him before Daryl? We should've been together by now if i had met him sooner. Whenever he's around me, he would always tease me and sometimes hug me. He plays with my hair and even serenades me. My classmates say he likes me but i don't want to believe them. I don't want to expect and get my hopes up. He just may be covering his love for Arra or maybe he pretends i am her and does those s**t. Mel asked me, "What if he asks you out?" I couldn't answer that. If i said yes, i wouldn't be myself with him. I mean, there would always be insecurity within me. I don't want any boundaries. Staying friends is better. That's what i say but why do i feel sad whenever he teases me. Is it because it isn't real? All of the things he's doing to me. He sure is cruel. Making me fall for him. Now, Jayvee WAS in love with Arra, Arra IS in love with Mel, and Mel is caught in between because of Jayvee. How complicated. And me? Where does a girl like me fit in in this complicated love story? I--really don't know. I guess that's a question i will have to figure out someday. sad