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My mind is a scary place. Welcome
So I Finally Found Him...
From the day we heard about what it was like to have that kind of perfect love, we've all desired it somewhere within our hearts, even if we're afraid to admit it.
I have gone many years being content with finding ukes to make into my pets. Most people just knew me as 'Master' or 'Seme' or something of that nature, and hell, it was great. I was treated like a king and it put me ontop of the world, but something very strange was about to happen.
Upon walking into the Blackjack room, I didn't know I was about to meet someone who would change my life. Six people, four ukes. I was one of the semes. The other man was keeping to himself at first, but with some drama that the ukes were causing, we both seemed to have a smartass comment to make.
There were FOUR damned ukes in there. I could have taken my pick, but for whatever reason, I made a line for the other seme who called himself Rage. I was hitting on him, but if he was interested, he was keeping it a pretty good secret. Unfortunately for him, I'm not someone who backs down on something I like. I was hunting him and he knew it.
The thing that finally gave us something to talk about? The band on his profile is one of my favorites and apparently liking the same music went over VERY well with him. He finally gave in a little-- okay, more than a little considering we had to make our own room, but left a puddle of our blood in the place we'd been.
It was supposed to be a one-night stand. That's how a lot of my 'relationships' were at the time. I wanted so badly to make this man bend to my will and submit to me, and how I ended up being the bottom for the night is still a total ******** mystery to me. I didn't bottom. I just didn't.
Once we were done, we were both heading out of town on vacation. That was cool. It would give me time to recover and I could go on to find a new plaything. There was only one problem.
I couldn't stop thinking about him.
The entire time we weren't talking, I had this terrible need to talk to that man again. That stubborn, sadistic, jackass of a man who had kept himself on my mind for days.
We finally were able to talk again and I didn't even know how to handle it. My initial reaction was being an a**. I was testing him. I didn't want him to know I'd wanted to see him again. That was like casturating my pride with a ******** fork. Unfortunately, he seemed to mistake my teasing for actual cruelty. I figured I needed to settle down, but I wanted to get close to him again. I'd liked it in a really weird way.
What was wrong with me? I was good at taking control of situations, but not with this other seme. When I got in the room with him, it was like a constant power struggle, and an internal struggle.
Once I finally managed to swallow a bit of my pride and made it clear I wanted to stay around him, things got better very, very quickly. We talked almost every day and I didn't really notice that I began to care for him. He'd gotten a hold on me and it scared the hell out of me.
The thing that triggered me finally spilling my guts was that I panicked. You see, we never actually made 'rules'. Even though we were dodging saying that we had emotions in our relationship, we seemed like we were both just in it for sex. Even though I was sleeping with him, I'd kept my 'pets'. I was a seme, dammit! And that was the only way I could prove it to myself was keeping those little sex slaves around, until of course, he met one of them.
He didn't seem like he cared about it at first, but that changed rather quickly. He got a bit colder towards me. Was he hurt? I couldn't tell and it was sending me into a blind panic. What if he got mad? What if he left me? What if HE kept pets to sleep with? I could't let that happen. My mind was racing, but my body, my lips to be exact, seemed to have a mind of their own as I sputtered words that I've never said and meant like that before,
"I'm falling hard for you-- I just hope that you'll be able to catch me."
My heart was on ******** fire. Oh gods, what had I done? I'd just handed my heart to him on a silver platter, then handed him a knife and let him have at it. I really did think I was done in for, and he seemed really surprised by it, but to my surprise, his answer was this.
"...I've already fallen........so now.....I'm just waiting for you....."
That day, I began getting rid of pets like there was no tomorrow. I wanted him. Just him.
Even now, months later, I love him with an even more intense passion. He's my lover, my stars, my everything.
He's my One.

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