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May ye give your mum a good days rest from her usual routine of what have you. 3nodding

Yeah I quit Ragnarok Online about last Febuary and lately the call for playing an MMORPG has summoned me. I wouldn't mind trying Guild Wars or World of Warcraft or one of the major online games, but I doubt my computer has a chance to handle their graphics neither could my connection which despite being cable based is modest when it comes to online games. Anywho I want to play with my friend of course but...I kind of don't want to be in a Guild as usual because....uh I'm going to cut this short I was invited to a brunch. Sayonara. xp

I do not know what happened but two days ago my love for Mana has been rekindled like an out of control flame. I gave his album Nocturnal Opera a try again and unlike last time I actually was amazed by just how good it was. I'll admit though I was really unimpressed with Dix Infernal so I think that is why I dismissed Nocturnal Opera so quickly. Aside from Moi Dix Mois and Mana, I also pulled out all my Schwarz Stein songs and had a blast listening to them, from Queen of Decadence all the way to Last Hallucination. I went to a forum at -scape- the artists of malice mizer and the idea of a Schwarz Stein DVD was mentioned and I thought how coool that would be as I've really grown to love their music, whether it is not gothic enough or what crap is not really my concern because I've done my fair share of dabbling with Izam and Shazna. ninja

However on one really cool note, Mana did mention something along the lines of, "Malice Mizer is in hiatus and maybe one day there could be a reunion." I kind of wonder how that would work out...hmm...which points out the question where the heck is Yu~ki?

Just erased about a month's work of items in Tekken 5, ima just restart.

Yes, I got my first rant from a drunken uncle today, whom I never really noticed he was drunk. He just started talking on and on after I asked him a stupid dumb question and I suppose all he's kept in was let go about me. He did it in a very courteous manner, but hit the dots fairly well, then again they could be applied to everyone who leeches off their parents still at my age with no school or work.

Speaking of which, I feel like i'm in limbo and it's gonna be hell getting me back into my older status. Even then it wasn't much of a status, anywho back on track, much later that day i became extremely frustrated with something I couldn't put my finger directly on, maybe it's what he said. Maybe not, ne?

Eiher way it ended with me ranting at my mother about the gender war and how i'm so sick of hearing men and women bickering like ******** in some stupid war...and then to be forced into a generalization of what gender I am, c'est la vie.


Funny Fact:
I don't really know when this happened, but the state government tried to limit drinking in college by banning it or restricting it. Now I know people like to drink, but the fact that riots broke out about these lil dipshits not being able to drink in college (they could do so as long as they didn't bring it back to the campus I would assume) and they ******** rioted?! What the hell is wrong with us that we need to be s**t faced in order to have a good time!? It was such a low point in mankinds life because it wasn't even proabition, and a freaking riot in the name of fun? I wish all those spoiled pricks did that in another country at least the government would of taken care of it in a professional manner by actually using real bullets to calm down the crowd.

I'm really pissed off that my friend had to cancel out tomorrow, it was soemthing I was looking forward to, and it was company who wouldn't turn their heads to someone else and begin to converse with them making me feel as if they did not want to speak to me in the first place.

To add to my frustrations is the return of the realization that I am a hateful person. One who spends most of his/her time either wasting away tome, or just hating things and wasting my energy on negative thoughts. As added Fuel to the fire is some rather slow melancholic music which ends up adding angst and such to my feelings, I really wish I could scream or lash it out on something i.e. a punching bag. Screaming is not a good idea due to the fact that my neighbors may hear and get the wrong impression of me.

Anyways, to sum up today, breakfast I was once again seen as something to laugh at even in a positive light it still makes me angry, course not having anyone laughing at me at all would sadden me. Theni stood home alone for a few hours eating them up with games, tv, and junk food. I later drive to my aunts house and eat tons of junk food due to boredom and lonliness while my cousins and aunts have a good time talking to each other. I later played their personal maid/butler asking if they wanted more refreshments and crap.

I'd say I'd need a hug right now but I'd prolly want to gouge out anyone who touched me right now. Rawr....but deep inside I want someone to cuddle me like a stuffed animal despite the fact I also want to shout at them to let me go and hurt them if they dared to touch me. There's never a good reason for me to be sad, it's really all in my head my negative thoughts and thus I just gotta grow up and live with it.

My friend will be coming out to my city for a visit, it'll be nice to have the company, I've been working on the house at a snails pace but at least doing something is helping me sleep, anyways I'm really horrified. One of my favorite restraunts got a barely passing review from the Health Inspectors, and they didn't even pass their first time. I wish I could get more info on it but it's not exactly a world famous place even though al lthe reviews for it are more than positive, heck it was pretty darn decent when I go. Ah well...

First post for a Gaia Journal, thought it'd be nice to have a small journal that doesn't need to be maintained and such, anyways I would like to vent about my sleep lately. Everynight I stay up till 4 AM doing jack s**t and then ruin my morning by waking mid noon feeling like I wasted a morning, which I haven't really enjoyed in over weeks. I know if I did things I'd be much more tired but I've always been a lazy paranoid nuerotic procrastinator so it's amazing if I'm seen outside really. I might go use some sleeping aid pills, mebe start off with two every night around 11pm, I just hope I remember to take them.

If you can offer some advice for sleep it'd be much appreciate but please no staying in bed and closing my eyes, that rarely works for me I just can't get into such a mental condition on my own will.