|
|
|
No, this isn't a blog talking about how I got my heart broken. This isn't a blog speaking my feelings about politics, nor is it a detailed explanation on how I get through my tedious week. This isn't a blog filled with poems of love, pleas, and hate. This blog is about me. This blog is about how I feel excruciatingly burnt up from the inside from all the good things, bad things, everyday things. Just a simple rant. A simple goodbye to the past and brand new hello to tomorrow.
Because I'm done.
I'm done with impressing that person who will never truly know me. I'm done with falling prey to my own stupidity. I'm dead. This is a whole new me. I'm a whole new leaf. I'm a brand new kid. I'm done waiting for people around me to change. I've wished, wanted, loved, hated. But, I'm done. I'm young, yes, but I'm not dumb.
My wake up call? Well, my best friend got accepted into his dream college yesterday. He's been accepted to a college all the way in California because of his Fashion Design talent. According to the people there, he's one of the kind. The needle in the hay. When he told us about his acceptance, his mom gave out a toast, and I cried. I was so happy and proud. Then, I walked into school the next day, still bright about last night's news. I sat down. I smiled. Someone asked why I was smiling, and I replied, "My best friend got into the most amazing college in California with scholarships and grants. He's going to live his dream, and I'm so proud of him." The person inquired who, and when I replied with his name, they made a face of disgust, and said, "I hate that kid. He's always acting like he knows everything. He's so two-faced." I looked little shocked, shrugged my shoulders, and asked, "Oh, I had no idea you even knew him." This person replies, "Oh, me? Know him? Nah, I only see him in the hallways every now and again, but there's always rumors and s**t flying around school about him being two-faced, and whenever I see him, I always feel like I'm looking at some really prissy spoiled kid." I was surprised to hear that. But, I ignored it. Let people have their opinions, I thought. That person will never know what they're missing. I went to class, still bright about last night's news. I sat down. And I heard someone say from the back of the room, "Oh, did you hear about Shanon? I heard him gushing to Kimmie about his acceptance to that college in California. He thinks he's some big shot just because he's already got an acceptance letter to some college all the way on the other side of the U.S." The talk continued. "I hate that kid. Always so stuck up." Blah, blah, blah. Then I heard it. "Hey, doesn't that girl up there hang out with him? I don't see how she puts up with him." "Probably just a pity friend."
I lost it.
Then it hit me. The people who surround me were truly and absolutely the most ignorant idiots in the world. So, I lost it. I whipped my head around and I hissed, "That's my best friend you're talking about. I'm not dumb nor deaf. Stop being so disrespectful. Have you even had a conversation with him? Have you ever even seen his work? Have you ever hung out a day with him?"
They looked at me like I just slapped them all in the face. I didn't care. I left. I told the teacher I needed to go to the bathroom because I felt sick, and I left. Then I went to my next class. This time, I didn't smile. This time, I wasn't bright. This time I wanted to retch. I wanted to scream bloody hell to all this rubbish. Instead, I stared blankly at a wall.
And let me tell you. You learn more about yourself when you're at school staring blankly at a wall in anger than you ever will in a week. You realize in approximately 10 minutes that staring does nothing. You have to start it. People are dumb, Get over it. You're only hurting yourself.
So, I got out my stuff and I did my work. Then I smiled. The bell rang. I went throughout my day bright with my epiphany, brightened a little more by the rekindled memory of last night's good message. And when someone asked why I was smiling, I just said, "Oh, nothing that concerns you," And moved on. I was done with people. I'm am done with people. So I'm moving on. I'm more hakuna matata than I ever have been before. I'm more at peace than ever before. So, goodbye this morning, and hello tonight.
 ReiMalice · Fri Aug 29, 2008 @ 03:17am · 2 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
