The Horrible Truth of Fan-fiction
Chapter 1:The Horrible Truth
Naruto: hey sakura?
Naruto: what’s a computer?
Sakura: why you ask?
Naruto: because shikamaru mentioned he had one and is mad from all of the fanfiction he’s reading.
Sakura: fanfiction? What’s that?
Naruto surprised h something about what our fans say
Sakura: (inner sakura) CHA!! They better be writing about me and my precious sasuke!!!
Naruto: in fact I’m going over there right now, wanna come?
Sakura: I guess so
At the house
Shikamaru: ugh what a drag…me and temari? I’d rather go die in a ditch or something…*zzzz* *accidently types in shika x ino*AHHHHH it’s HORRIBLE!!!
Ino: what is?
Ino:…let me look at your screen shikamaru!
Ino: I’ll get it!!
Narrator: as ino answers the door shikamaru quickly tries to shut off the screen but it froze
Shika: why does this kinda stuff always have to happen to me...?
Ino:…well if it isn’t sakura and naruto
Sakura: you got a problem with uswantint to see shikamaru
Ino: he’s on the computer. I think he’s looking at fanfiction.
Naruto: OMG!! I want to go see.
Nar: naruto races to the computer. As he walks in he sees shikamaru trying to torch the computer with a flamethrower.
Naruto: shikamaru…what are you doing?
Naruto: why? What’s so bad about…the….
Nar: naruto starts to laugh at seeing ino x shika fan fiction
Ino: what’s all the commotion here?
Nar: ino looks at the screen and fains. The screen finally unfroze as gaara and the rest of the sand siblings step in.
Temari: I HEAR YOU HAVE A COMPUTER SHIKAMARU!!!
Shika: could you please not shout!
Tem: ok ^..^
Gaara: temari…why are we here
Tem: fanfiction is why ^..^
The truth of it all
Temari: oo oo let me type gaara in
Tem: OMG it says your mark on your forhead means love! AWWW THAT’S SO KAWAII!!!
Nar: gaara tries to bang his head against the wall but the sand prevents him. So he grabs a gun and shoots himself but the bullet is blocked by the sand.
Gaara: GRRR!! Stupid sand!!!
Kankuro: it also says here that gaara stole temari’s eyeliner..and his lovers are hinata, rock lee, temari, and sakura
Nar: sakura also faints.
Gaara: (inner kid comes out) WAAAAAHHHHHH!!! Temari took my chocolate!!!
Temari: that was 10 years ago!!!anyways, the screen also says kankuro…stole…my…lip..stick…
Kankuro: OMG!! No one was supposed to kno! Er I mean…heh…
Temari: I think we better get going…NOW!!
Nar: as they all left narto stops laughing and types in “sakura”
Nar: sakura wakes up
Sakura: what is it?
Nar: just as she says that it shows sakurax kakashi. Yet again she faints
Nar: just as they’re about to leave rock lee steps through the door
Rock lee: HELLO SAKURA! I am here to see shikamaru’s so called computer…also I would like to take u on a date
Sakura: EW NO!!!
Nar: as they leave, lee, in the computer room they see lee leave towards guy…
Guy: what is it lee?
Lee: the…the…FANFICTION!!! They said I stole gaara’s eyebrows!!!
Guy: why that’s preposterous... yours are as natural as mine!
Nar: ignoring them they see sasuke slumped on a bench on the verge of crying.
Sakura: oh my god! Sasuke! What happened??
Naruto: oh how the mighty have fallen *snickers*
Sasuke: sh-shut up baka!!!
narutoL what’d you just call me teme??!!
Sakura: NARUTO!!! GO AWAY!!
Naruto: pfft fine sakura!
Sakura: sasuke what’s wrong?!
Sasuke: *sniff* I….I…
Sakura: ….spit it out woman!!!
Sasuke: I SAW….HORRIBLE FANFICTION!!! AND…AND….
Sasuke: and im missing my brother. I only wanted to kill him because he took my cookie!
Sakura: I thought u wanted to kill him because he murdered your family.
Sakura: are….are you ok?
Nar: sasuke runs off into the woods and is captured by Orochimaru
What the devil?
Nar: as naruto walks, he sees kiba and hinata running from shikamaru’s house
Naruto: uhhhh hinata, did u see the fanfiction?
Kiba: OMG naruto!! Why are people so mean!
Hinata: uhhh naruto…I’ve been meaning to tellyou something for a long time…
Kiba: not now hinata we gotta get going!
Hinata: ohhhh…ok kiba *says as soon as kiba starts to drag her*
Naruto:…oh hey kakashi sensei!
Kakashi: *stares at his book* oh…hey naru..
Naruto: hey sensei! How can u read and walk without bumping into things with one eye covered???
Kakashi: well you see-*BANG!* -falls on the ground-
Hinata: hey…kiba…there’s gaara and them.
Kiba: really? That hyper child is gaara?
Kiba: look at him! He’s jumping everywhere
Temari: what now?
Temari: say what?
Gaara: *foams at the mouth* choooooocolate…*looks at where akamaru just got up from sitting.
Temari: NO GAARA! That’s not good chocolate!
Gaara: allllll chocolate is good!
Kankuro: but not this kind, NO GAARA!
Nar: gaara’s sand tries to pick up but it backs off trying to tell gaara it’s poop….
Gaara: cant…get chocolate….
Nar: just then, ino comes in
Ino: gaara of the desert…*faints*
Gaara: what’s her problem…im not THAT scary am I?(his blood thirsty face shows)
Hinata: so….so scary…
Gaara: now, back to the chocolate. Since my sand wont get it I might as …well…
Nar: just as he spoke, akamaru picks up the poop that was on the ground and ate it.
Gaara: the…. The precious chocolate… you *******(censored) !!!! im going to KILL THAT DOG!!!!
Kiba: what is it???!!!
Hinata: so….so horrible…
Kiba: what’s horrible??
Hinata: my byakugan saw under gaara’s clothes!!
Hinata: im ok now…..is akamaru?
Kiba: oh no I forgot!!! I don’t know…let me check…yup he’s ok
Akamaru: ar RUFF!!
Hinata: just make sure akamaru doesn’t lick me…don’t wanna taste the “chocolate” that he ate…
Confessions of love
Orochimaru: poor little sasuke.
Sasuke: *cry* GET AWAY FROM ME YOU TEME!!!
Orochimaru: I’ve been watching you for some time now and-
Sasuke: …you mean you were STALKING ME???!!!
Sasuke:…you…you snake pervert!!!
Orochimaru: sasuke…i…I love you!
Nar: sasuke leaves but orochimaru doesn’t follow
Sakura: SASUKE THERE YOU ARE!...i need to tell you something
Sasuke: me too
Sakura: you go first
Sasuke: well orochimaru stalks me and just confessed he loved me
Sakura: uhhh sasuke?
Sakura: I….I…..I love you as well
Sasuke:….i’ve known that…to tell you, I sorta like you as well
Sasuke: yup, in fact here comes hianta….oh look over there she and naruto are talking
Nar: just then…..hey…wait a minute, haku?
Haku: I have a confession to make….that all must hear! I may be a man but im a woman also! I am a hermaphrodite!!!
Nar: that’s nice haku….back to the story!!!
Hinata: OH! Naruto…*blushes* about what I meant to tell you earlier….ummmmmm how do I put this….I sorta…love you
Naruto: hinata…I have something to say too…*grabs her hands* I like you hinata…you’re actually the first person who’s ever loved me
Hinata: n-naruto *faints from blushing too much*
Nar: I think it’s time to wrap this up-
Ino: why do YOU get to wrap this up??!! Why are YOU so special!!?
Nar: because im the narrator
Ino: alright come here YOU!!!
Nar: uh oh…..*BAM*
Akamaru: anyways BYEEEEZZZZ!!!
The Horrible Truth of Fan-fiction
Narrator: some of my readers wanted me to make a sequel. Well here you go!
Naruto: sasuke are you done yet?
Sasuke:*sniff* done with what?
Naruto: crying over sasu x naru fan fiction
Nar: sasuke runs away and rams into shino
Naruto: shino are…you ok?
Naruto: NVM, anyways-
Naruto: ummmmm…*plays the numa numa song*
Naruto: shino what are u smoking and why aren’t u sharing?
Shino: MOOOOO!!! –translation- crack and NO u cant have any-
Naruto: I don’t kno understand a WORD you’re saying!!
Shino: FINE BYE
The plot part:1
Tenten: I got an evil scheme to exploit lee’s weakness!
Neji: how do u kno his weakness??
Tenten: I read his diary
Neji: diary? OMG… let me see it
Nar: tenten hands neji the diary
Tenten: have fun reading it!!!
Nar: neji looks through the pages and found this one page about eyebrows
Lee’s diary: so…fuzzy…….so feel GOOOD! Gaara’s eyebrows feel sooo GOOD!!!
Neji: …omg…oh wait there’s something here about his weakness….it’s fudge…
The plat part:2
Guy: Lee come ‘ere
Rock Lee: yes guy sensei!!
Narrator: as lee was coming over, he saw neji, guy, and tenten eating fudge
Lee: can…can I have some?
Guy: sorry but we spent ALL of YOUR yen..
Lee: nrji… you don’t even LIKE fudge!
Neji: *throws the fudge away* so?
Lee: SCREW YOU ALL*runs away*
Tenten: WOO that was fun! Nar: neji starts to read more of lee’s diary
Lee’s diary: people who I want to beat in battle!.... I would LOVE to beat neji ! not only will I be better than him but I can prove to gaara I aint no SISSY!...
Neji:… having a pink diary with ELMO on the front with frilly crap on the sides and GLITTER ALL OVER it doesn’t make him a sissy to begin with?
Narrator: alright, here’s a very short section about lee’s obsession with gaara. Like I said, this IS fan-fiction! > biggrin OK lee’s walking down the street and sees gaara
Rock Lee: SQUIRRELY LOVE NO JUTSU!
Gaara: lee… stop poking me with your kunai
Lee: that’s not my kunai >.> *looks guilty*
Gaara:….i want chocolate…..
Lee: how about a chocolate KISS?!
Gaara: ok! Gimme!
Lee: *kisses gaara*
Gaara: EWWWWWWWW! I wanted the CHOCOLATE!!
Lee: I don’t have any
Gaara:….screw you then:
Need I say it
Nar: ok well…OMG …DOSU!!
Dosu: yes it is I! dosu kinuta back from the dead and I shall sing a song!
Dosu: CRAAAAAAAAAAWLLINNNNNNG IIIN MY SKIIIIIIIIIN THESE WOOOOUNDS THEY WIIIILLL NOT HEAAAAAAAAAL….FEEEEEAR IS HOW I FAAALLLLLL
Gaara: SHUT UP! Shut up! Im going to kill you again! GRAAAAH! SAND COFFIN! SAND BURIAL!
Dosu: GAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!! XX *dead*
Nar: and that’s the end for dosu…again, ok back to the basis
Back to basis
Sakura: Saaaasuke! Where aaaare you?!
Sasuke:*looks up from sulking*
Sakura: what’s wrong?
Sakura: WHAT HE DO!!??
Sasuke: he…he….ate my HO-HO!
Sakura: why do I even boter T..T *spots shino*oh hey there shino…..
Sakura: oh no u didn’t! I KNOW u didn’t just call me a cow!
Sakura: come ‘ere! ARRRRGH! *squishes all of shino’s bugs*
Sakura: hey it talks…uhhh ohhh…o.o
Shino: GRAAAAA!!! >:F *tyrannosaurus roar*
Shino:…*looks at sasuke hungrily* ….you….
Sasuke: AHHH ITACHI SAVE ME!!!
Nar: just then, itachi charges in and slives shino’s throat : itachi gives sasuke a cookie and a ho-ho
Itachi: *glomps sasuke*I MISSED YOU
Sasuke: * cries * I did too!
-kankuro steps in-
Kankuro: *girlish screech* AHHH it’s itachi uchiha!! *faints*
Itachi: why is there lipstick all over that guy’s face?
Sasuke: I don’t think he knows it’s on his face…either that or it was a dare
Itachi: I better get going… well… see ya!
Sasuke: there was something I wanted to tell him….oh yah….I was going to kill him…CUSO!!!!
Blah blah blah
Nar: ok well….as you can see I’m clearly out of ideas….so bear with me here!!!
Temari: gaara….where’s kanku…ro….hey where’d you go? *sees gaara high-jacking an ice-cream truck*
Temari: NO GAARA!
Temari: bad boy! You know baki already high-jacked one yesterday!
Gaara: but this one has fudge-
Rock Lee: DID SOMEBODY SAY FUDGE??!!
Gaara: my fudgepops!
Lee: NRAAAAAHHH *attacks the truck and bites it*
Gaara: BACK OFF IT’S MY ICE-CREAM TRUCK TEME!!
Lee: SHARING IS CARING!!!
Gaara: I care for no one..! except temari…….she’s my sister
Lee: n-not even me?!
Gaara: not even you…
Nar: lee runs off into the distance with his feelings hurt
Temari: gaara, can I ha-
Gaara: MINE! *grabs the ice-cream truck using his sand and walks away*
Temari: fine…BE that way!
Nar: ok everyone here’s something from lee’s diary:
Today I finally became a man! I kissed a girl! Sakura was unconscious so I decided to take her home. You know, to make sure she was ok. She looked so delectable… I kissed her right on the lips! Then I stared at her. She was SO divi-
Nar: OMG THAT’S ENOUGH DETAILS LEE! I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR SICK LOVE fantasies… moving on with more nonsense
Nar: ok well im running out of ideas like I said before… so I guess ill close this chap-*looks around for ino*-ter … phew…she isn’t around-
Shino: you know shino has “ino” in it…
Nar: didn’t sakura squish your bugs? AND didn’t itachi kill you?
Shino: like you said….this IS fanfiction….*strangles narrator*
Zabuza: bye everyone….SEE YOU ALL IN HELL MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
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