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The Neverending Stream of Consciousness, by Auryn
Buffy Bonanza - a Buffy fanfic I'm working on, also available in one piece at www.fanfiction.net To Be or Not to Be - whining like Hamlet (except not in iambic pentameter) Fairy Tales - one-shot fantasy stories Angsty Anecdotes - Life is fun
Meal Plan - 5.18.21
Breakfast:
- Trader Joe's Veggie Burger Patty ($4 for 6, $0.67)
- 1 Lg Egg ($2 for 12, $0.16)
- 1 cup pan-fried peppers (or whatever is on hand) ($1.50)
- Nespresso coffee ($1.10/capsule)
- 1 cup 2% milk ($4/gallon, $0.25)

Total cost: $3.68
Total calories: 414
Total g protein: 20

Lunch:
1 can Amy's Organic lentil soup ($3.79)

Total cost: $3.79
Total calories: 360
Total g protein: 16

Dinner:
Serves 4
Pork
Pork tenderloin, pre-marinated ($5.99/lb, $1.50)
Cook according to package instructions

Roasted Cauliflower
2 tbsp cooking oil (not included in cost)
1 head cauliflower ($1.89/lb, $0.45)
Salt & pepper (excluded from cost)
Cut cauliflower into bite-sized pieces. Roast at 400 degrees for approximately 20 minutes.

Baked Cinnamon Apples
4 apples, sliced ($2.49/lb, $0.91)
For remaining ingredients, I'm assuming a total cost/serving of $0.14)
2 tsp butter, cut into small pieces
1/4 cup brown sugar
2/3 cup water
1 1/2 tsp flour
1 tsp cornstarch
1 pinch salt
1/4 tsp ground cinnamon
Mix ingredients. Bake at 350 degrees for 45 minutes, stirring occasionally

Total cost: $3.00
Total calories: 510
Total g protein: 34 g


------

I'm not a dietician or anything. If you see this and think you might have an eating disorder, please reach out to your doctor and/or a trusted loved one.

Also, feedback is not welcome at this time. Please keep your advice to yourself.

Thanks!

Meal Plan - 5.16.21
Breakfast:
- Trader Joe's Veggie Burger Patty ($4 for 6, $0.67)
- 1 Lg Egg ($2 for 12, $0.16)
- 1 cup pan-fried peppers (or whatever is on hand) ($1.50)
- Nespresso coffee ($1.10/capsule)
- 1 cup 2% milk ($4/gallon, $0.25)

Total cost: $3.68
Total calories: 414
Total g protein: 20

Lunch:
1 can Amy's Organic lentil soup ($3.79)

Total cost: $3.79
Total calories: 360
Total g protein: 16

Dinner:
Serves 4
Kebabs
Juice from 1/2 lemon, serve remainder as wedges ($0.99/each, $0.25)
1 tsp dried oregano (excluded from cost)
1 tsp dried garlic (excluded from cost)
1 tsp dried dill (excluded from cost)
Salt & pepper (excluded from cost)
1 lb chicken, cut into 1-inch cubes ($3.99/lb, $1.00)
Marinade chicken* in remaining ingredients 1-48 hours
Grill OR broil
*Or veggie alternative

Rice
2 cup rice ($6.99 dry for 21oz pkg of the fancy kind I like, $0.44)
Cook according to package directions.

Salad
4 cup lettuce, chopped ($1.79 for 5-oz bag, $0.45)
1 cucumber, sliced ($0.79 each, $0.20)
1 red pepper, diced ($1.50 each, $0.37)
1/4 red onion, finely diced ($0.99/lb, $0.06)
1/2 can black olives ($2.49/can, $0.31)
1/4 cup (2 oz) feta cheese ($4.89 for 5-oz package, $0.49)
1 tbsp olive oil (excluded from cost)
2 tsp red wine vinegar (excluded from cost)
Dried oregano (excluded from cost)
Salt and pepper (excluded from cost)
Mix all ingredients together.

Wine
5 oz red wine ($5.99/bottle, $1.20)

Total cost: $4.72
Total calories: 450
Total protein: 32g

------

I'm not a dietician or anything. If you see this and think you might have an eating disorder, please reach out to your doctor and/or a trusted loved one.

Also, feedback is not welcome at this time. Please keep your advice to yourself.

Thanks!

[imgmap:c480b44460]http://i674.photobucket.com/albums/vv103/tlsmith1963/abbeyroad.jpg[/imgmap:c480b44460]

Bunneh!
This post is for the purposes of the 2011 Easter scavenger hunt.

To buy
Wish List:
Gogh Reed 1300000 or lower
Gift of Colibri going down
Perfect Tragedy
Padmavati's Lotus
Masquerade
Picolitrosso's Urn

Maybe
Compass of Seidhe
Nightmare

Unlovable
Love is a powerful word. To hear it said is even better than the physical expression of it. It is a Pandora's box in reverse. The joy on the surface boils over to reveal fear, insecurity, and ugliness underneath.

I am loved. Yet I fear I am unlovable. There is no paradox. There are parts about every person that no one knows except herself, not even those who love her, and I fear that these are what make me unlovable: I speak without thought; I speak without logic; I speak mercurially; I speak anything and everything that comes to mind. My speech is worthless, because it is a currency I continue to print.

The written word I take time to phrase, so I am more sure of myself here. I am sure that I say what I mean, that I do not hurt.

I love him. Beyond love and beyond reason. Or wit, or safety. I have made him know it (he has made me know it). I care not; I am desperate...

I worry that one day, the words I can't use carefully will hurt him, and cause him to stop loving me. That is why I consider myself unlovable.

Nightmare
I just woke up from one of the worst nightmares I can remember. Before anybody thinks I'm plain old psychotic, this is JUST A DREAM! I'm writing it down to calm myself, since there's nobody I want to wake up.

I was sitting on my bed, and this fungus thing began to creep up on the wall behind me. When I notice it, there's a rap of branches on my window and I look outside to see my yard at my other house, with an extra tree. In the tree are a pair of corpses, just watching me the way I'm watching them. They mirror me. Suddenly, I'm in a parking garage, where a female police officer is holding two guns in her arms. She can't use either without putting down one, and there's a man there who she's trying to defend herself against who she doesn't want to arm by putting down one of the guns. So they stand at an impasse. Suddenly both of them are dead and I am holding both guns. The corpse of the woman stands up, reaches out her arms, and I hand her both the guns. The scene repeats, but with corpses instead of people. I'm back in my room, and the corpses in the tree are looking at me again, with different poses. Then, instead of mirroring me like they did before, one of them slowly looks at the ground, looks back at me, and grins. I somehow know he was judging the distance, and was planning to get to my window somehow. I back away from the window, and suddenly I'm in a park with a single dead palm tree, and a giant hammock. I run to the hammock, knowing I'll be safe if I'm not touching the ground. This was a game I'd play when I was little, to flush the toilet and see if I could be somewhere where I wasn't touching the ground by the time the bowl refilled. I run out of time, but before anything happens, I'm back in my room. The corpse is leering at me through the window, having made it across from the tree to my window. As he starts to open it, I wake up.

I wouldn't normally be frightened for so long, but after I woke up the buzzer in my apartment rang. A very ordinary occurrence, but since my roommates were out, I asked who was there. Nobody answered, and I got nervous.

Making Cake (Yummy!)
Berry-Lemon Loaf
Ingredients:
1/4 cup margarine
1 cup sugar
Grated zest of 1/2 lemon, even though the recipe calls for 1 - lemon zest is hard to peel!
2 large eggs from your roommate. If she has a cow, at least you'll have enough milk for the next ingredient.
1/2 cup of milk
1 1/2 cups all-purpose flour. Be sure to clean it up afterwards, or your roommate will think you're on drugs.
1 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp salt. If it's all caked and you can't get it out, just whack it a few times, and if you end up with 1/4 CUP of salt, so be it.
1 1/2 cups of berries, fresh or unthawed
3 tbsp lemon juice/blood mixture from the lemon
1/4 cup confectioner's sugar
1 finger you're not too fond of (optional)
1 1/2 hours to waste

1. Preheat the oven to 400, because you're lazy and impatient. Return it to 350 when a cooler mind prevails. Spray a 8x4 inch pan with nonstick cooking spray.

2. Put all ingredients but the berries, lemon juice and confectioner's sugar in a blender (see lazy comment, above). Hope you get the blender to work this time, and not spray you with smoothie/protein mix like last time, until you look like you belong in Saw VIII.

3. Mix for about 30 seconds, or until you don't see any more yellow yolk or white flour. If you have a finger, stick it in the blender without looking. If not, skip to step 5.

4. Prance around the kitchen in pain, looking for a bandaid. Since you're out of bandaids since you're a poor college student, use a paper towel, while lamenting the waste and the ecological harm of your makeshift bandage. Decide to use a rag next time.

5. Pour the batter mixture in the pan, and realize you've forgotten the berries. Do not put the berries in the blender unless you want an entirely purple cake. If you do by mistake, consider adding green food coloring to the lemon juice/confectioner's sugar to make a Barney-themed cake.

6. Press the berries into the batter mixture, one at a time, while fidgeting. You WANT that cake!

7. Put the pan in the oven. Don't use an oven mitt. Promptly put your thumb under cold water while swearing. Keep an ice pack on it to keep the burn from stinging.

8. Estimate that you spent about five minutes doing first aid, and subtract that from the 60 minutes that you should have put on the timer. Put the resulting arithmetical answer into your microwave timer. Subtract additional time if your paper towel bandage came loose.

9. Combine the lemon juice and confectioner's sugar until smooth to make the glaze.

10. Once the cake is golden and cracked on top, take it out of the oven and pour half the glaze on the top of the cake. When it's absorbed, add the rest. Let cool in the pan on a wire rack for 5 minutes.

11. Eat way too soon, and make a mess.

12. Clean up mess, and hope your roommate doesn't notice the missing eggs, or accuse you of being addicted to cocaine.

Fear. Himself.
I'm terrified. Absolutely terrified. The gentleman I'm so crazy about who's done so many kind things in the name of romance... he's quite the catch. It's just frightening how many other girls think so, too, and more or less express it on his facebook wall.

I wouldn't normally be scared, since I think I trust him not to hurt me, but they're all so BEAUTIFUL. ALL of them. At least two have pictures that I'm pretty sure came from a modeling agency. And I have to admit. I'm plain Jane. And these pretty flirts, they all leave xoxo's and see you in london, hottie's on his Facebook.

I'm not the kind of person to flirt overtly. I think romance should only be the business of the two people involved. It's more fun that way, and the guy doesn't become some sort of brand name accessory to tote around on a shoulder. I'm not the kind of person to think up terribly embarrassing cutesy nicknames, and use them. But what if he is? I guess I could live if I lost him to one of his pretty admirers. I would see the reason. It's just that I wouldn't be sure what kind of guy he was until that happened. And then I would feel so silly for thinking so highly of him, if he would choose one of them over me.

But I jump to conclusions. He may be a great catch for me, but who's to say I'm the same for him? Maybe Izzi, Flossie, or Jaime WOULD be a better match for him. But I can't imagine liking anyone better than him.

I wish I had a chance to get to know him better before we parted. Then I don't think I'd be so afraid. Or maybe I would, since I've been hurt, badly, before. A shallow part of me wants to get a lot of male friends, just so that he's as afraid of losing me as I am of him. And I want to be pretty, so that he won't look at the other girls when there's a whole hemisphere in between the two of us. I want to have clever things to say, so that I'm his equal.

That's what I'm afraid of.

Not deserving him.

shukuo
Community Member
shukuo
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