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In life. We are forced with decision.
Making a decision. The only thing that matters, is that decision. When anything else matters, the decision is flawed. Along with our judgement.
 Shin_Ru · Mon Sep 14, 2009 @ 01:37pm · 1 Comments |
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Yet..
Another thing, that I always feel.
"It's time, it's time
Step on up, b***h!
What makes me think that, it'll all work out in the end?
Afraid to feel bad, better off to try and pretend
I'm immortal, immune to all that is wrong
Just keep on wishing, crossing my fingers so long
Is this helping? I'm growing weaker each day
Can't stop whining, still afraid of what I might say or reactions,
That control us one and all
It's mine, it's pure and as decent as I can make myself
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive.
Why don't you think about that?!
Why don't you think about that?
So now I'm bleeding on myself yes once again
Seems I trusted another deceitful friend
My fault, I should've known the deal
Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer for real
Seems easy, but nothing could be so hard
Trying to guess life's dealing, what's the next card?
I'm surely folding, I don't like this hand at all
It's mine, it's pure and as decent as I can make myself
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive
(Why don't you think about)
Maybe things happen for a reason and wherein lies the answer
To overcome the grieving of lifes unruly lessons
I'm handed in sucession,
It builds my pain which makes me strong
It's mine, it's pure and as decent as I can make myself
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive
When it's mine, and it's pure and, as decent as I can make myself
Inside, we all know, only the strong survive
Why don't you think about that?!
Why don't you think about that for a minute?"
Lyrics from a song called "Only the strong" by the band "Flaw".
Shin_Ru · Sun Aug 16, 2009 @ 02:09am · 1 Comments |
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**** Dream Log, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 11.17am.
Dream was in great detail.. Almost like a premonition. Not normal.
Dream overrided Nightmares. Only things with direct signs, or premonitions, override the Nightmares anymore. Definitely not normal.
The dream was post apocalyptic. I recall the dream beginning in a field. The sky was normal blue, but to the details. The house, me, Jennifer, and Paul resided in was brought to the ground, and about.. I'd say 200 meters to the right, was a house in which Emily, and Paige lived in. They made it to us. .I had two swords on my back, and a black and red revolver in my pocket, and paul also had a very sharp Katana. Well, we traveled some distance, and met up with my dad, and my brother Josh, and my friend Danial. Almost like meeting in the middle.
The dream skipped places, in which Paul, and Danial returned to camp, it was nightfall, speaking that they'd found caves, and that there were numerous caves. We traveled to these caves, and there were dug out, almost like perfect rooms. In the back of one of them, were brown, like.. Mucus sacks hanging from the wall, big enough to hold two, 200 pound people. The first sack was already broken open. The second, started hatching while we stood around. It was barely visible, but somehow, we seen it. There were two of them. The animals of sorts, which looked almost like.. An undead, eaten away at- raptor. One attacked me, but I held it off, shot it with the revolver four times, stabbed it in the head, three or four times. Eventually, it's head came severed because of combined efforts by me and paul. We eventually rested here. I have no idea what happened to the second.
The dream skipped places yet again. We were all gathered in a room of a building, that was like.. A super mall / government building. It had computers and such too.
Well, Paul sat down, at a morris code device, and started doing morris code. There was two beds beside that, in which will be part of this, later on. Well. Paul was doing morris code, but cell phones weren't working, obviously. The ironic part was, my dad recieved a text message. I dreamt in such great detail, that I read this message. It was from a number of 836.4??.????. That's all I remember. I searched this number to find out, that it's a Florida number. Hm. Well. It said, something in english, then jarbled to look almost Arabic, and then it said "Have a good day, and we'll see you soon.". Hm. Shortly after, my dad mentioned we needed something, and told me, to go down to radio shack in the mall, and see if I could find it. He told me to drop a little something there, as payment. Several were against the idea of me going alone, but I did anyway.
The dream skipped places for the last time. I was back in the room, with the two beds, and the morris code unit. Behind me, on the wall, was a vending machine, fully stocked. We were hungry, but my dad was, for some odd reason, against busting it open, to "Steal" the food inside. Well, my dad, and three other people stocked into one bed, while me, and a few more stocked into the second. It was dark, but paul was still doing morris code, almost like his life depended on it. It was then, I woke up.
I don't normally dream in such detail, and when I do, it's almost like a premonition of what's to come, and anytime, I've dreamt in this detail.. The dream almost always happens. That's what bothered me about this dream. Hm..
-Jen and Joe.-
**** Dream Log Edit, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 11.50am.
My grandfathers area code is 2XX. However. His other digits are 836.4XXX.
Hm.
Maybe some connection?
**** Dream Log Edit, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 12.18pm.
I researched numerical translations in dreams. The numbers 8. 3. 6. 4. 8. In that order.
8.3.6.4 = text number.
8 = Number of people.
I gathered this.
Infinite commitment of love, compassion, and forgiveness. Limitation Infinite.
** 8 = This number 8 is a perfectly balance symbol (imagine it on its side ¥) and indicates expansion through balance (infinity symbol = expansion). It also features in dreams about the circulatory system (8 is two circles)
** 3 = This number always has to do with commitment and as such it should be placed in the I Need column. It stands for mind, body and spirit and is a request to commit yourself, mind body and spirit, to improving yourself in the direction indicated in the dream. The number 3 will often appear in dreams about the heart as people who have closed off their heart to others often lack commitment. A triangle or pyramid also indicate commitment and request the dreamer to meditate on the subject matter of the dream.
** 6 = Another female number, 6 indicates Dharma, Christ Consciousness, Grace, love, forgiveness, compassion. It indicates a request to go beyond the five senses and Karma and develop compassion etc. within yourself.
** 4 = This number indicates limitation. For example, catching the number 4 bus would indicate the dreamer is limiting their life journey through their actions / thoughts. A box or square also indicate limitation.
8 Deals with the circulatory system. In other words, the heart.
8 had two distinct appearances in my dream. Ironic, as it is, it took two people, I haven't spoken too, in a really long time, in order to make eight people.
It's also Ironic, that my grandfathers' heart is only working, 3%.
Could this be a sign?
**** Dream Log Edit, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 12.36pm.
The number 2, just struck me.
There were two sacks hanging down, and there were two creatures that came out of the unbroken sack.
I researched this number, and found this.
** 2 = A female number indicating balance, sharing, give and take, two way communication. The number two is important for channels (mediums) and as such they will often have dreams which are littered with the number two (eg. weddings, twins, 2 of anything, etc.). Dreaming of the the number 2 is not enough in itself to indicate that the dreamer is a channel but it is a good indicator.
Would this pertain to me telling what I believe is to come, to my grandfather, directly? Or maybe to my Grandmother? Sharing.
**** Dream Log Edit, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 12.44pm.
Post apocalyptic dream. I haven't done much research on this, but. I believe it may mean, destruction. Death, of some sort.
The numbers in my dream, all point to my Grandfather, at least in my interpretation.
However. The dream setting, was post apocalyptic. Meaning, death.
Could my Grandfather be passing away, very, very soon?
That's the only thing I've gathered from this dream, so far.
**** Dream Log Edit, Joseph Brunson, Saturday, August 8th, 8.10pm.
Paul brought up something. There were five males, and three females in my dream. Whether or not it means anything, is beyond me. However. It is quite ironic, that my mind would recreate two females I've not seen in quite some time, and don't even really care about, in order to make the number three.
Upon research on the number 5 I found this.
** 5 = Another male number indicating sensuality, the five senses, Karma (literally learning your lessons through the five senses).
What would that have anything to do with my grandfather?
** 3 = This number always has to do with commitment and as such it should be placed in the I Need column. It stands for mind, body and spirit and is a request to commit yourself, mind body and spirit, to improving yourself in the direction indicated in the dream. The number 3 will often appear in dreams about the heart as people who have closed off their heart to others often lack commitment. A triangle or pyramid also indicate commitment and request the dreamer to meditate on the subject matter of the dream.
Hm. Maybe a commitment, to learning? Maybe Karma is going to bite me in the a** over something?
Hm.
Shin_Ru · Sat Aug 08, 2009 @ 05:35pm · 1 Comments |
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You know.
This is how I feel, quite often..
It's lyrics from Disturbed's song, called "Enough"
Though, the lyrics have been slightly altered in some spots.
"When they're broken, and lost everything.
They're so much easier to lead.
Take their hope away.
Take their life away.
Leave them nothing left inside.
When your own have died.
When there's no more pride.
When your soul is frozen.
Is that enough?
When your heart is broken.
A thousand times.
With every moment.
Is that enough?
Haven't I suffered enough now?
the damage more than I can bear.
Did they even have a reason why.
Countless sons and daughters had to die.
Can you even comprehend the pain.
Tell me when your..
Own have died."
Shin_Ru · Mon Aug 03, 2009 @ 03:39pm · 0 Comments |
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Strength.
Above all, I have cherished this tiny aspect of life.
Yet, Forsaken it, have I done, far too long.
For in this strength, I garnered wisdom.
In false wisdom, thought I strong.
But in strength, one loses ones self.
In order to be made truly strong, one must be made truly humble.
But, does that make strength nigh? Nay. When made humble, False weakness soon follows.
What is weakness? What is strength.
Many, falter amongst false strength. Many tread over false weakness.
Yet, whence one falters, one treads? Ye' are a fool.
Be it same, or be it different, one tell not.
Learn strength, child, above all.
Bind wisdom, and garner understanding, above all.
Wisdom, above all wisdom.
Behold wisdom, without understanding?
Strength..
Shin_Ru · Sat Aug 01, 2009 @ 01:23pm · 0 Comments |
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"Infinite mystery binds the wise.
They seek it thus, and bind, amongst.
Gifts Infinite Wisdom, to chosen few.
Few seek that wisdom, yet none bind.
Though the morrow barren, nothing shall forestall return.
For whence came, return inevitable.
Cherish wisdom garnered, above wisdom thought.
Wisdom.
Above all, wisdom.
Yet far, have lost.
Whence one gained, also one lost.
Nothing in mystery, yet all in wisdom.
None utter such words?
For it impossible, when bound.
Chains clasped, chains broken.
Infinite is mystery, yet gifted amongst bound.
Yet none receive.
Bear it not, or bear it nigh.
Choice be given to those who be yet bound?
Nay, speak wise.
For when choice be given to bound, be no longer bound.
Wake up, child.
Be ye' not bound.
Be ye' free, and take to the sky.
Infinite is mystery, yet gifted.
Receive.. ?"
Written By: Joe Brunson.
Inspiration: His own thoughts.
Poem Number Written: 1
Yes. This is my first poem, I've ever written..
Can you gift me, the wisdom in which ye' garnered from my "Poem" if you must call it that?
I have never written a poem, and no.. It isn't supposed to rhyme. Speak not of it.
Shin_Ru · Thu Jul 23, 2009 @ 11:10am · 7 Comments |
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I was thinking.
He's dead.
And he isn't coming back.
And yet.
I could have seen him. I could have been there, for him, before he left us.
And yet, I chose not too, because I was too 'busy'..
Hm.
Shin_Ru · Sun Jun 28, 2009 @ 12:31pm · 0 Comments |
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This is Rods interpretation of one of my older posts.
Read it.
<You are a fool, my child!
Why have you forsaken yourself, whilst among so many others?!
Do not, ponder amongst these things, my child. For in time, answers will be given.
Ask, and it shall be answered unto thee.
Seek, and the way shall be made known.>
I believe this part is as though you're telling yourself to stop trying to search for each and every answer and either let them come to you or ask someone else and they may have the answer you need.
<Forsake one, for the sake of many? How foolish of thee, child.>
This one, I think means not to abandon one person for other people. Such as how someone might ditch one friend to hang with another group or so. Though it could have many reasons.
<You shall not learn, unless thee be taught!
Seek out not the wisdom of Man, but the wisdom of God, child. For in Christ, all things are made known. For in Christ, all things, are possible.>
Hmm probably this relates to the first part as in not having the answers and once you have asked around and still not found your answer, then the answer lies with a greater power.
<But, I know not, what it is I seek! I know not, what I have forsaken of myself. I know not, many things, my Lord.. Though, I seek not diligently, I therefor, know not.
Whilst I seek, shall I know? What is it, that I seek? What is it, that I have done?
I know not..>
As odd as it seems, it may be a reply to the first paragraph from yourself. Maybe a conflict within yourself.
<Fear drives many. Fear drives the world, my child. For in fear, man will do most anything. The government, in which you live, drives its' people with fear. And its' people are too foolish to see!
Fear not, my child, for fear begets hatred. Bring love to those whom you fear. And fear not!>
Again another reply, just from the opposite side. Maybe the fear you have is to stop and just let things happen which is what led to the forsaking of the friends as opposed to going out and trying to find the answer no matter what.
<What is it, that I fear? Do I fear myself? Do I fear the powers of those above me?
Do I fear, at all?&
A slew of questions that you must find out yourself?
<It is said. The beginning of wisdom, is fear. But I say, unto you. Fear not, my child. One needs not earn something, they have already.>
This part I some-what agree with, but intrigue can be the start of wisdom as well. Could be that you already have the wisdom you require but are afraid that you don't have it.
<Do I, though? Do I really have, already, what it is I seek?
I know not the answer, myself, and thus make my attempts, at earning, what it is I want! Must this path continue onward? When will deliverance come, unto me?!>
Kinda getting a mixed one from this. The questioning part is probably doubt of what you believe or told to believe. The deliverance part, I have no clue about.
<You are a fool, my child. Seek wisdom, before understanding. With wisdom gathered, Understanding soon follows. Trust not in the Wisdom, and Understanding, you believe to have. But put your faith where it truly needs.
So it is said, my Lord. So it shall be done.>
Hmm I think its like saying. "So you doubt me even after clarification? Then you are indeed a fool and you must re-learn what I have taught." Just my interpretation of it all. Hope it helps some!
Shin_Ru · Fri Jun 19, 2009 @ 06:37pm · 1 Comments |
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It is said by the wise, that when one spreads happiness amongst others, then it should return unto him, ten fold.
But I say unto thee, Wise Children.
That thee who spread happiness, shall in no wise recieve that happiness, but shall be tortured amongst his days on this earth. He shall in no wise, recieve that happiness ten fold, as he was promised, by such elders.
It has been also said, that knowledge is power.
But what is knowledge? Intelligent thought? Nay, I speak unto you.
The dictionary states that:
Knowledge is the acquaintance with facts, truths, or principles, as from study or investigation.
But yet, why do so many have not wisdom, but yet so much knowledge?
I say unto ye, Children.
Wisdom, is the power in which ye' seek, my child.. Not knowledge.
Knowledge, is nothing more than the dirt, unto which to step upon.
For those, who know not. Knowing seems an impossibility, never to be gained.
But I give freely, my child. Nothing is to be paid for.
Though, I speak in parables, the wisdom, amongst those words, are still clear to those who seek.
Seek, and the answer shall be given unto thee.
Seek not, and wallow in your own sought wisdom.
-Jen and Joe-
Shin_Ru · Fri Jun 19, 2009 @ 10:28am · 0 Comments |
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