Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

The desolate earth quakes as it's might wake's
The rolling storm clouds seize to breath as they hang over head
No rain fallen, nore shall it
Its essence seeps from the wounds and shadows
Gathering
Its arrival, swift
Its punishment forever lasting

That ******** b***h!!
i cared for her soo much
i'd do anything for that b***h!
and what does she ******** do? She ******** breaks my ******** heart!
Grah!!!
and that ******** Matt.P, I gave him a shot of rum and he ******** pushes me when im walking away
That ********!!!
Tiffany punched that ******** in the face
but if i ever see him again, if he ever touches me again
i swear it, ill ******** pound his ******** skull into mush with my brass knuckles
i was nothing but kinde
i was nothing but caring!!
i bled my heart out for that girl
******** HER!!!
RA!!!
at first i felt sad, but then i realized
from a complete stranger
i deserve better then that b***h!!
I drempt of her, i wished upon her, i wanted her soo bad
only to realize my dreams were nothing but illusions!!!
Disappointment fills my heart as i grinde my teeth in hate and anger
im sick of it!!
im sick of chasing after dreams
im sick of chasing after things i think could be
only to be shot down by those ********!!
I know who my real friends are now!
and ill stick to them till the very end!!
******** those possers those ******** fakers
i only started drugs so i could around be her
i only pretended to ber Matt.p's friend so i could ******** BE AROUND HER!!
THAT b***h!!!!
ill show her i don't give second chances
ill show her how much she ment to me and how quickly i'll throw her away
as if nothing!! as if she ment nothing to me!!!
i tell her how much of a disappointment she really ******** is!!
maybe then she'll cut herself and it'll mean SOMTHING!
she was my dream
she was the highlight of my day EVERY day
******** HER!!!!
******** THIS HEART!!
******** THIS HATE!!

god damn, god damn it all!!! crying

Now that you know
What lays within the darkness, waiting, watching
Are you scared?
Are you intimidated?
Are you nervious?
Do you dread the day, when it will swallow you whole?
Do you dread the day, when your on your hands and knee's
Beging for mercy?
Beging for it all to just come to an end?
Will you be the one to take your own life?

I will not...
I will meet it every time
With a smile on my face
I will laugh..
I will not faulter

For im the one who knows
Once its all said and done
Upon the other side..

You are reborn
With a new look upon life
You love the simpliest of things
Thankfull for what you have and who you have
You come out, stronger then ever before

Though you must be wary
For every year, it too grows stronger

A pool of blood
Slowly forms from your aching wounds
Your body trembles
Your heart gives dieing beats
While you struggle to hold back those tears

For you are not allowed
To show weakness...
No emotion...

Breaths slowly come and go as you await your fate
Your vision is poor
Though you manage to raise your head
Enough to gaze upon the horizon
Its coming, you can feel it, you can sense it

Your ready...
You pray for death to take you, before it does
You can't take anymore
This never ending torture
This rollercoster of pain and sorrow

Its jet black figure finally makes its appearance
Like an oily liquid
It slithers and glide's to you
Teasing you, it sorrounds you
Leaving but a white circle around your knelt body
While everything else becomes tainted with a thick layer of black

Slowly, it itch's its way through that circle
Creeping upon you
You stiffin in pain and then melt as the sorrow seeps into your heart
You give off a quivering sigh
Your head is lowered to the ground once again
As it steals your will to fight
Your heartbeat is ever so faint as if you've become but a shell
Like barbed wire, it slithers over you
Tearing at your flesh and at your heart

Theres nothing you can do
No way to fend it off
Its power, so great
Its seduction, irresistible

It steals your strength, your energy, your life
With nothing left
You wish only to tople over and perish
You cringe as it continues to rape you
With a sharp and hideous smile

Your hate, soo very strong
For you hate to feel weak and powerless
Helpless...

Eating at your flesh
Beating upon your heart
Posioning your body, mind and soul
You become infuriated

Look how far you come
On the brink of insanity
Look at you...
Weak
Pathetic
Disgusting
Scum
Garbage
You are nothing...
You are powerless to fight against it
You deserve nothing more then death

You suddenly retain abit of life
Your fist clentch's with power
Your eyes spring to life
With a burst of sheer will
You scream out in distress, your cry loud and long
The jet black creature seeps away in response
A mighty force arises within you and explodes with a mighty rumble
Flushing you of all pain and suffering
Bringing to you strength, energy and power
It beats the dark blanket off
You bear your teeth with hate
Head raised to the sky
You cry out once again
The power overflowing within you as if becoming unstoppable

The darkness retreats as a bright light shines from within you
Salvation at last!

Having survived
You crumble to the ground
Your body, layered with new wounds
Your mind scared, with old experiences

You are safe...
For now

With months of pain and suffering to come
Now is your time for rest

Emerging from the darkness with a mighty splash
We arrive at our annual playing field..
With a moments pause
We gaze upon our trials
Upon our tests

You question whether we'll make it..
I reassure you...we will

With smiles we charge once again
Running full tilt
Our breath becomes heavy
Our thoughts become glazed, clouded and distorted
Our muscles strain, quiver and tremble
While a mighty wave pounds agaisnt us

Our speed has greatly decreased
Bracing ourselves for the tsunami..
This wave lifts us up and sends flying back
I am your growl of frustration
Your will is still ever so strong..
We will not fall

As soon as our feet touch the ground
We bolt back up to speed
Our footsteps are no longer silent as we run to an uncertain future

No sooner does that first wave end, then the second begins
We see it coming, we hear its roar
It quakes the ground beneath our feet..
Though without hesitation, we charge to our fate
Fists and teeth clentched
We take the pain
The wave lifts us up once again and sends us back
Our body steams in agony
Cuts scatter our arms, while our body ache's with a posion
Scars from this annual gauntlet, arise
This familiar pain brings you new life
It angers you, drives you

Again, we run
Our speed has become crippled by a variable we can not controle
Though we continue on..
Our breath, heavier then before
We feel the trembling earth as another nears
Though we do not stop
I won't allow it..
We see the nearing wave and hear its cry
Matching it with our own scream, we clash

You struggle to brace yourself against its power
Lifting you up, it sends you flying backwards
Landing upon the ground, your thrown off balance
Stumbling, you wince in pain from its wrath
Blood slowly begins to seep from your wounds
Questioning the ability to move forward
I give you no choice, we will not fall

Taking in one last breath
We run..
Our speed, still crippled, i push you onward
You will not show weakness
We run hard, we run fast
The ground quakes once again
The mighty wave races towards us
You stumble as your muscles begin to show signs of fatigue
Im quick to grab you
Pulling you along side me we charge
Crying out, we dive into the wave

It wipes us away with ease
Not having the strength to brace ourselves any more
We take the full hit
Our bodies land with a hard thud and roll to a halt
Gasping in pain...
Muscles quivering, you struggle to arise to your feet
Blood trikles from your wounds, while you body begs of you to stop
I wont allow it..
I pull you to your feet and dust you off
And once again, we set off
You struggle to keep up
Though i force you to stay by myside
We will not fall

No longer a run, its pathetic
We venture forward
Only to meet our doom once again
We stand in awe as the wave draws closer
Teeth clentched with anger, we scream and attack
It simply engulphs us and spits us out once again

You can no longer arise on your own
By your side
I pick you up
I give you strength
Your eyes cry out, begging you to shed tears
It all seems so hopless
I won't allow it, you will show no weakness, no emotion

Again, we set out
Limping in pain, we travel on
You struggle to breath
That posion, thats crippled us so
Lays within your chest
It claws at your heart, while beating a dull steady drum
This pain ripples through out your entire body
The eyes that once held life, confidence...are dead

The wave comes for us again
Though it seems we are too weak to give a battle cry
We take one last breath before the wave crash's upon us
Our bodies, slide
Scraping upon the ground as we arrive at a stop
Our clothes, tattered and torn
While our bodies lay beaten, battered, bruised and bleeding
We will not fall, I won't allow it

I arise to my feet only to see you
Already upon your feet
Your eyes hold no life
While your body quivers with exhaustion and pain
Everything screams for you to stop

There is no hope
There is no ending
There is no one..but you

With shuffling steps, you stumble onward
Only to meet more suffering and pain

You cannot manage, yet you show no concern
You cannot move, yet you proceed forward

You leave a bloody path as you drag your feet
Bairly able to move
The ground rumbles once again
Though this wave is different

Smashing upon you, you do not move
It does not lift you up
You merely continue on
As if a drone
Your head remains tilted downwards
As you gently gasp for air
You become dizzy and disoriented once again

Unable to think clearly
You have but one voice your head
My'n
I push you
I drive you
I am you

Though the time comes
When there is no possible way, absolutly none
Your legs give out and you fall
You give off no sign of pain as you bash against the ground
Your arms slowly slide to yoursides and quiver

Its all in vein
Don't even try
Why bother
Theres no point
It's not possible

Slowly, but surely
Your arms manage to get you to a knelt position
You sway, for you are unstable
Unable to stand
We await
For it will find us
It will show no mercy
It will show no remorse
Nothing
It will beat you
It will pound you
It will bite you
It will kick you
It will stomp you
It will torture you
It will never end.

But...
We will never give up...

I suppose i could give one of these a shot..

Have you ever dragged your fingers down the wall?
Walking down the dim lit corridor with a dead stare..
Your breath is faint, yet calm
Your sense's are sharp yet so dull..
Hearing your heart beat echoe within the hollow shell you call yourself
You feel each step, as if it were your last..
Time has died down to a stand still, though you still continue

Do you fear what is in the dark?

For within that lone hallway, there is no one else...there is no end
You feel the smooth texture upon the cheaply painted walls...
When suddenly..a breath of chilled air washes upon you
This gives you a surge that your quick to swallow
Though you remain frozen, choking upon it as it refuses to leave you
A bead of sweat appears upon your forehead
Yet there you are with one foot infront of the other
Arm's spread wide, dragging your finger tips along the wall

Do you know what lays awaiting for you?

That darkness that everyone tells you to fear
That darkness that everyone tells you is horrifying beyond all belief
That darkness that makes you quiver within the 'saftey' of your sheets
That darkness that makes you sweat within your sleep
That darkness...is a lie

With their red eyes they gaze upon you while you lay motionless
Eye's peeled, you glance about in a paniced state
No one's there yet you feel their presence..

You can't see, but they can...
You can't move, while they over take you
They slither, they crawl, they float, they walk, they run....they watch
They grab, they claw, they clasp, they clentch, they strangle

You call them the banished
The damned
The wretched
The dead
Demons

Your footsteps are silent
Letting your head roll backwards you close your eyes in awe
As if embracing your fate, you march without a care
The lights that lit the dim hallway begin to flicker
Though you remain unaware
Opening your eyes once again
Your quick to spot the nearing abyss

With no more hallway in sight, no floor, no wall, no ceiling
The fear in wich you swallowed rears back up
That bead of sweat grows a twin
Your heartbeat quickens in confusion
You wish to stop, though you can't
With a dead stare your forced to venture forward

The darkness that you fear is itching its way closer
teasing, how does it feel to be weak?
How does it feel to have no controle?
How does it feel to be swallowed by that wich you ate...fear
Tell me...how does it feel?

With a dead stare you gaze upon your doom
Their crippled, mangled and mauled bodies emerge..
They hobble, they limp, they drag themselves towards you

Panic engulphs you
Its sharp teeth peircing your heart

Do you fear the dark?

I am your other half
I am your brethren
I am your companion
I am your saviour, your salvation
I am the helping hand that wipe's it all away
I am the hand placed upon your shoulder
I am the one who screams
I am the one who thrashes
I am the one who bites
I am the one who bears the pain
Who bears the scars
Who sheds no tears

I will never let you fall
I will drag you through your pain, suffering and sorrow
I will push you to the edge of insanity
I will allow you to show no weakness, no emotion
I will fight off the darkness with my own, fire with fire

When your drowning, i shall be the one to dive in
When your smothered, i shall be your breath
When your burning, i shall be your scream
Your scream of hate, of anguish, of sadness, of pain

I am your other half
I am your brethren
I am your darkness
And we shall not fall

Do you fear the darkness?

Walking down that hall
With no one there
Arms spread out wide
You watch as those creatures near you

I give you the strength
I give you the ability

You shake the fatigue from your body
That dead stare comes to life
Those beads of sweat are wiped from your face
You begin to breath a new

With a smile
We bind that fear to your feet and charge
Knowing we are one
Knowing there is no fear
Knowing we shall never fall
We dive into the abyss