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Two days without sleep and she attacks my face with a piece of toast. Honestly, I would have preferred a kiss instead of burnt bread. I left her asleep at home as her father was beginning to wake up. She’d curled up into a ball and held the toast in her hand as she slept.

Right after she had had her fun beating me up with the toast (which she had named Brandy.) she had fallen asleep. Several times she had lifted the toast and said, “The toast is coming to get you Edwaaarrrddd!!!” and waved the toast around frantically.

All in all, she was very, very, frightening tonight.

I was inside my home now, and as the door closed I heard a shrill cry that sounded much like Bella.

“THE TOAST IS COMING TO GEEET YOU EDDWAARRRDD!!” Alice yelled, creeping up on me from behind.

“Oh, shut up.” I glared at her as she fell to the ground laughing.

“Edward’s here!!” she said, smiling evilly.

“You told them didn’t you?” I crossed my arms as everyone in the household appeared.

“Yes, yes I did. I thought it was cute, Edward!” there was a small pause, “CUTE THAT YOU GOT HIT SQUARE IN THE FACE WITH A PIECE OF TOAST!”

“Bella doesn’t like you as much as I thought…” Jasper chimed in, laughing as well.

“Shut up the two of you! She was deprived of sleep.” I defended myself against their increasingly annoying laughter.

Rosalie and Emmett, who had been restraining from laughing, suddenly burst into a fit of giggles which grew of course, to very hard laughter.

Edward got hit by a piece of TOAST! Rosalie thought.

I don’t know what we’re laughing at but it sounds funny. Emmett thought.

“Shut up Emmett, you don’t even know what they’re laughing about.”

Later at School

Throughout the day my siblings had drawn pieces of toast and tossed them at me, along with randomly yelling, “THE TOAST IS COMING TO GET YOU EDWARD!” whenever I was nearby.

It was infuriating, I was a laughing stock to my family, and Bella.

“Do you understand what I mean when I say ‘No good can come from sleep deprivation?” I asked her as we walked to lunch.

She giggled “It was funny and you know it.”

“Sure. I’m a laughing stock. That’s downright hilarious, Bella.” I snapped, glaring at Mike who was walking in front of me.

What’s with Cullen and the toast thing? He thought. He’s afraid of toast? Wow. Bella’s dating a wimp. Maybe she’ll get so tired of having a scardy-cat boyfriend she’ll finally go out with me…

“And, on a side note, I’m going to murder Newton.”

“Oh please, Edward, you are so serious, can’t even take a joke.” Bella rolled her eyes and frowned at me.

“I can take a joke.” I said.

“Right. Sure you can.” She paused, “Oh, Edward?”

“Yes?” I waited for her to continue her speech on how I couldn’t take a joke.

“…Just thought you should know that…THE TOAST IS COMING TO GET YOUUU! THE TOAST IS COMING TO GET YOU EDDWAARRRDD!!” whee whee whee