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It's worse than the Black Plague.

For many, it gives them a hint of arrogance, an invitation for worse to come.

Some might feel it's something that not only makes them feel self assured, it makes them feel better than others.

I personally, don't think that's right, in a moral sense.

I know some people may assume that the internet is letting out your true self. If so, the world is full of numerous jerks. Which is probably true.

It's something about seeing people in person, that tends to holds us back like chains at our feet.

I imagine, that it's the assumption that what we do, could have an affect on how people treat us.

Online, you tend to more easily let things slide. Like the fourteen year old that called you an a*****e because you corrected his horrible internet slang.

In real life, grudges hold for longer. Body language, eye contact, they all add to the feelings caused by your words. When you just have your words, it usually isn't enough.

But then why can writers stir emotions in us so easily? Is it because they map out our senses?

That would explain why some kid saying, "I hate you." has no effect on the internet. While, if a writer told you not only the circumstances, but how he looked and sounded, it'd have more of an impact.

Now that I think about it, the only reason numerous individuals get into certain arguments, or debates, online is because they take what the person says and puts it to a real life circumstance. Mapping out how they'd feel themselves.

If we stopped doing that, wouldn't it make it easier on all of us?

I really wonder, is this just instinct to connect these things to other situations we can relate to? Or is it taught?

If it is taught, it would be possible to, with time, not do that anymore.

And couldn't we just end up being a lot more carefree online?

Without the dumb arguments?

I like debating as much as the next person. But when insults get thrown around for no reason, it just shows immaturity.



(This is a rough draft. Please excuse any errors in it.)

So this is something that is irking me to no end. Like the itch you have in just the right place that you can't scratch without the help of another person.

I am not perfect, nor do I pretend to be. I've made tons upon tons of stupid and immature decisions but what makes me more mature, and above the situation is that I can sit there, apologize and learn from a situation. Some people my age can't.

I admit, I like and even enjoy to argue. Because, I like a good debate as much as the next person does. But when I say something wrong, or something stupid. I will certainly, correct myself. If not right then? Then certainly in the near future.

So when I try and make a point, something they can more easily relate to. And they think I'm changing the subject? When really they are just the ones avoiding the subject, that makes me mad. And when I offended the person I was talking to with my analogy? I promptly apologized. Only to be told I wasn't forgiven. Hell, I at least tried.

So, people like her can sit there and tell me I'm a whore all they want. In the end, I know I'm not.

A whore is someone who has promiscuous sex with people casually, usually for money or material possessions.

First of all? I'm a virgin. Second of all the only reason she thinks I'm a whore is because I had camsex with someone. First of all, big deal!

It bothers me that someone views me as a whore because of this. When by definition I am anything but a whore. I just showed my love to someone I could never live my life without.

Her response, "You're only 14."

So what? Because I'm fourteen I can't show my affections? Yet you can make plans to take advantage of some guy and make out with him? Go dig your own ditch, sweetheart. You will surely need it.

People that say s**t, and can't back it up. Are annoying. They make arguing not so much fun anymore. And like I stated before, I like arguing. With people that can do it well. Some people are just like whiny little brats. Whose sources are important people who just because they SAID something means that everyone must have or must see the same thing and think it's correct.

Just because your mommy says you're pretty, doesn't mean everyone thinks you are. And it doesn't even mean you really are. So why when some important person tells you, you are mature, do you assume you really are?

I know this journal entry won't make any sense to anyone but me, and maybe the person I am writing about, it's doubtful she will read it. But, my immaturity is showing in my saying that I hope she does and it pisses her off again. Because, I'm just quite angry right now.

Ta-ta for now. <3

I feel, content.

For the first time in a few weeks, I feel content. And you know what? I'm glad.

I don't think I could of taken the loneliness but longer, and the pain.

A day where I did nothing, and still feel like the day isn't wasted? That's a good day for me.

It's April 2nd everyone.

My neck hurts from being online too much.

So I woke up this morning, it's my Spring break. So I thought I'd might as well enjoy it and sit on my a**. Which is exactly what I did. I went on the Fashion And Style subforum in the General Discussion.

Then, I remembered a layering piece I got from Torrid that the sleeves looked horrible. But would look good as arm warmers. So, guess what I did? I cut those bastards.

I now have arm warmers. I hope my mother isn't angry with me. I never liked the sleeves anyway. I put on two different color socks. That matched my headband. And then, I put on my shirt from Delia's. Put on my moms cute flats that I fell in love with, they're big. But I can still walk in them. The finished product is the picture you see at the top of my profile.

How emo is it?

Yes, speaking of emo, I changed my Gaia user name. My old one felt so cliche and I needed a change. So I spent the 10k and changed it to something that I liked. It actually has a meaning to me and wasn't a name just to be "Cool in the GD." How stupid.

I haven't done much else today. And now that I've gotten over my "must look nice" phase, I feel sad because I miss Stephen. I missed talking to him and forcing him to stay on longer. I miss just hearing his voice too. Meh. That's all for now.

I woke up this morning, so at least I'm not dead yet, right?

And nothing interesting happened. It's 54 degrees Fahrenheit. So I thought it'd be a nice day to get out, hang with a few friends, but I couldn't because my grandmother was coming over and so she brought McDonalds and we just chilled and, again, watched Stick It. The girls bodies on that show are amazing. I want a body like that.

But I'd have to work for that. Me, work? Ha.

Kidding, I want to become more active. I can't wait until Volleyball season. I think I may just go try out for JV.

Enough of that though.

So, back to my day. So I sat back on the computer. Y'know as usual. Get on here and am doing what you see before you. I'm talking to.. <Counts.> 5 people on MSN and listening to Roma Tanaka - One. =] Thanks to Ryan for showing me it. When I said "Leave one" when I went to school one day he shows me a YouTube link and says. "K... left One." =] Awesome song, I love it.

Song of the Journal Entry? Roma Tanaka - One

How am I feeling today? A little better than when I wrote my last journal entry. But, I still have those same feelings deep inside. <Smiles.> These are the closest my journal entries have EVER been to each other. Silly.. isn't it?