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You know ever since i picked upa pencil and paper and doodled...it has been a shower of praise after each complteion( with exceptions ofcorse)....some people call it talent, some a gift..........
I call it a curse, crazy as it may be it is the source of most of my sorrow, my head creates these sceneries, unearthly, love per say. You ask me to draw love i coulnt, it dosnt have material state, its not hug, a kiss... but to have an imaginationa and its almost impossible tot hink what it could be, teh ablity to see these thing ina perspective of what i think is higher than most, each detail is a part of a hole, the scene where you hold hands where you hug when you cry together, so perfect it hurts, seems possible almost, then it all come crashing down as the chains of reality bind me with self doubt and " what if he dosnt feel the same way"...so ive set a goal for my self, its not high cose i can reach it. You see teh curse fo teh artist is just that, to see things wither as you transport them from your head to the realm, my head carries infinite possibilities to state a question to hold some one...its just a shame that its too good...a daydream.
 Alexiel The Seraphim · Mon May 28, 2007 @ 05:03pm · 1 Comments |
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the only place he doesnt know |
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A two sided sword of selflessness, i love a boy and always will, i purposelly stabbed myself in the heart to relinquish him to his happiness, it hurts so much just to see him tell some one else he loves them, i can almost not bare it....im happy though...somewhat, hopefully this new person will do what i could not....sad...how destiny works....makes fool of you and spits you out, the onlyt hing i have is hope....hope to forget...hope to i dont know...hope to heal and wait and hope your wounds be mended by warm caring hands...something i dont think destiny has for me, but still i fight.
Alexiel The Seraphim · Thu Jul 06, 2006 @ 10:56pm · 1 Comments |
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thanksgiving!...omg never before have i ate so much, my stomach feels liek going on strike.....did i gain few pounds?.....<.<;;; in anycase...well my punishment still on..and im watching ants so i dont feel like writing anymore... bye bye
Alexiel The Seraphim · Sun Nov 28, 2004 @ 10:10pm · 1 Comments |
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...okay well now safe from that b***h of librerian i can continue......were was i?...oh yeah so my mommy called to ask were i was i told her the adress she went to pick me up in th emiddle of ****** town next toa prison ...watever im grounded sad ...hopefully ill get ungrounded soon an di can go back to speaking to my dear ones....today i have the lamda meeting afteschool, im not really sure i wanna go anymore but somehow i have hopes for it.....and im single again!!!!! yay!!!!!!::places a "for rent" sign around his neck::..hahahahahahaaa!!!...well um lessie what else to say...nick ish right next to me, he pierced his ear, he looks hots!! heheheh gotta love him, ima miss him when i leave, but not too much cose ima have my own room!!!! hahaha who knows what monsterous i deas i will conjour and make come alive behind those walls i will paint black and decorate with stapled white feathers!! mwraahahahaaaaa!!!! my bed cover will be red satin and so will my curtains and everithing else in my rom will be black or white or red, god i cnat wait to move, not to mention my house will be like what 50 steps away from my school...can you say major SKIPPAGE!!!!! hahahahahah well too much fun in my opinion!!!!...welll i part now!!!! till then my furrie little friends of beyond teh screen
Alexiel The Seraphim · Wed Nov 17, 2004 @ 12:16pm · 0 Comments |
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plays halloween death song::come closer mom...i love you heh |
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...well this weekend i went to my boyfreinds house..watever we played video games that was nice of him...then we had sex... stare sweatdrop stare ....wasnt ood wasnt bad...it was just lacking that love im guessing...meh..i woulnt know....watever i left his house at 5pm he told me to take some bus....bullshit!!..i ended up in the middle of ******** ****** town next to a prison...it was windy it was cold....i actually felt alone and in need of hug, but yeah gonk if anyone would have hugged me in th emiddle of ****** town then it would have been to rape dme so i was semiglad no one hugged me, at about 7pm my mommy called and asked were i was...gotta go!!! the library lady!!!::quickly jumps off signs off and runs::
Alexiel The Seraphim · Tue Nov 16, 2004 @ 05:56pm · 0 Comments |
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disgusting news!!...im here live...from my room..were not an hour ago an inccident took place, by our underground sources we have discovered traht carlos, boyfriend of alex, does drugs:gasp heave breath dramatic drums::and im completly against it...i aske dhim to stop and he said he coulnt....so now im debating on wat to do...i ask you audience if you ahve any advice....speak to me, on lighter new...my cherrub....he is so freekin great omgwtfbbq!!!!! im really starting to fall
Alexiel The Seraphim · Sat Nov 13, 2004 @ 05:16am · 1 Comments |
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joy to the world we polluted!! |
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today the morning was shitty i felt shitty my hair was shitty, but ofcrose i cant go like that to school so yeah i acted all happy and watever..my best friend finally told me that she didnt wanna be my best friend anymore...well watever ill miss her to tell ya the truth...but as i told her...every one is replacable.....SO!!!! im taking applications for best friends now!!...soon ill be going toa party or something!! ******** i drifted off...welll um there was prep rally today for our loser football team that miraculously made it to districts and yeah i went to both and screamed my lungs out...it was great stress relief i feel much better...i wanna dance now ********!!!! GIVE ME YOUR SEX!!!!! domokun domokun domokun domokun GIVE ME YOUR SEEEEEX!!!!! sorry teh word ******** reminds me of sex
Alexiel The Seraphim · Fri Nov 12, 2004 @ 09:00pm · 0 Comments |
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it is 3 02 pm!!! i got a pink box....well i got it at like 2 56pm...but i had to go back and forth and click the link and click down there and chase the box everywere cose um i coulnt get it and it would muve me foward but i would have nothing in my inventory so i had to click back then reclick it then finally i got it in my inventoprry then i coulnt open so i clicked back and so it vanished so i clicked all the way back and got it again on my profile and then i reclicked teh dooohickey and then foward it to my inventory then reclicke dteh abck and right clicked till it said open lick then it took me to the open box screen and i clicked it but nothing showed up so i clicked back aGAIN AND REOPENED TEH BOX AND GUESS WHAT WAS INSIDE!!!!!!!! android s**t tyhingy!!!!
Alexiel The Seraphim · Thu Nov 11, 2004 @ 08:19pm · 0 Comments |
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ahhaaaaa!!alas i have yet another journal i will sooon forsake and carry on with life!!!!! 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding 3nodding any case i supose i should tell you something about myself...dear journal and all those who give ******** about reading journals.....
im alex im 15 years old i attend BARBARA goleman senior high in the 11th grade my schedule is as followed!!!
1-English 3
2-animation graphic desighn 3
3-physical science
4-American history
5-Algebra 2 (die mrs weintraub!!!!!)
6-Drama
er...um i have curly brown hair...the heasel eyes taht you can just spend hours staring at(dont do it i get scared and nervious) um a decent mouth(now with braces, but still im cute hah!!!) um i have tan flesh( from swiming and water polo) um...lessie i weigh 145 lbs stand a 5'9 um um 29 hip size um shoe 9 1/2( and you know what they say about guys with big feet eh......yup..i wear big socks!! whee whee whee ) um lessie...my weaner size...ull have to ask me if ure intrested...um um um...lessie...er....i like long walks on the beach and staring t teh moon and skinny dipping i love dancing to anithing()i shake my a** liek any other common black girl you know) anithing els eu wanna know ask me!!!
oh i do have boyfriend( i am gay) to my papi out there!!! I heart heart heart heart heart heart heart carlos!!... stressed scream scream scream you cheat on my ill powder your nuts and cheese grind your a**!!!! wink 3nodding
Alexiel The Seraphim · Thu Nov 11, 2004 @ 04:50pm · 0 Comments |
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