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So at the beginning of summer, I got my wisdom teeth out. I had all four taken out while I was only numbed. That was terrifying to be able to feel as the dentist drilled your tooth in half and hearing the crack as he breaks the tooth out of your mandible. Also, it took a huge chunk out of my savings. But to help with the swelling and pain, the dentist prescribed me about two weeks worth of oxycodone. I only used about 3 days worth and had extra oxy...

Fast forward a few months, I tried to cram 80 hrs of work in 6 days. This was because my job pays in a bi-weekly fashion and each week you can work up to 40 hours. However, I had plans and couldn't work the following week. Being the money hoe that I am, I had to cram all my hours in the days I was going to be at home. Well, I was essentially working 12 - 16 hour shifts from 8 pm at night to 12 pm at noon. Generally, around 8 am I take my anti-depressants which is in the typical prescription bottle. This week was like the rest-- but at hour 12/13 of these shifts I would start feeling this euphoric feeling... Which I thought was my body getting so tired that I was starting to get loopy. (They also say that if you stay awake for more than 16 hours straight, your brain starts working like it's under the influence of alcohol. I thought I was going through this) It was not until I finished the last of my prescription bottle when I realized I was taking my leftover oxycodone instead of my antidepressants.

Thus, for the last week, the 'euphoria' that I was feeling was not from being tired but from the oxycodone. I was getting high at the end of my shift everyday for the last week.

So this past summer I tried to be more environmentally conscious and to live zero-waste. I wanted to try to live this way because I wanted incentive to spend less money. But also, it forces you more aware of what you buy, eat, use, and put onto your skin/body. After 3 months of trying to live on products that's either recyclable, reusable, or compostable, my verdict is that currently in the US if you want to try to live zero-waste, it's practically impossible without major lifestyle changes.

As I've learned, one of our important macronutrient, protein, is almost virtually impossible to get without being in plastic wrapping. While protein is already fu**ing expensive, it also is probably one of the most environmentally damning products. Because in order to meet your daily protein quota you have to depend on paper-egg-cartons or you slaughter a cow every month. And then with toiletries and make up-- everything is in plastic. Overall, I was surprised to find that in places with the whole "green and for the earth" narrative such as Wholefoods and Sprouts, while they had a lot of 'organic' and 'gmo free' stuff... they actually had little or no items that was green for the environment.

Benefits of living like this (besides absolute misery in contemplation of what to buy or what you can't buy), I started eating 100x more healthier. I never really had a problem with weight-- but eating so cleanly (since everything I bought had to be unwrapped produce) I saw a lot of improvement with my physical ability and my muscles became more defined (be it that I lost fat or my muscle anabolism became more effective).I used to be a biochemistry major and so it was also interesting to learn about all the compounds in our daily items. Man, there are a lot of sketchy stuff that we put on our skin and eat; and surprisingly the more 'healthy' it claims to be, the more sketchy it is.

However, because of this lifestyle change, I was able to save a lot of money, though. In addition, the things I bought will now age a lot more gracefully since they're made of wood, cotton, leather, or steel. (Plastic just gets scratched up and janky in the long run.) I don't think I can continue living completely zero-waste. But if I can at least be more aware of my individual impact on the environment and consumerism, I think, is a victory. It sucks that this type of problem is an out of sight out of mind thing.

I never know how to respond to this question-- because I could be doing really great mentally and determined and motivated but a complete disaster emotionally. And then physically, I could be dead beat tired and sleepy but because I'm emotionally devastated I could stay up for another 10 hours. Or intellectually? Or academically? Since this has been the summer and I've done nothing intellectually I'm probably not at a good place. Or academically, I'm going into my last year of college so pretty well in that aspect. What about how I am doing romantically or socially? I am not dating anyone, but! But, I have a lot of friends that I am hanging out with to fill that empty place in my mind (for now). But what about sexually? What about spiritually? Or financially? There's so many aspects of life to consider when asking how someone is doing... So which category are they asking?

But like most others, I respond "I'm good" after a long pause with those thoughts going through my mind.

How am I actually?