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To that place
That always reeks
of animals
who were
--Previously
never loved.

I want to go back
to the place
where, no matter
how many
or how long
of a time
I visited,
I was always greeted
with a smile.

I want to go back
to the person
who,
whenever I fell down,
would help me back up
again
and again
and again.

I want to go back
to the family
who always hoped
for something I never believed would happen
and yet it might have...
Maybe.

I want to go back
to the boy
--- to the man
who I've been
through everything with
together and always,
even if he had
not always
been thinking
of me.

I want to go back
...I want to go back...
because,
although I've never believed it,
I love him
and I miss him
but I'll continue to deny it
which is why
I may never go back....

Still,
I want to go back.
....I do.