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Hey guys. Back again. smile With - most likely - better spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. Aaaand, of course, more stuff to b***h about, haha. Where to start off....
I guess the best place to start is with what has been bugging me today. Ever since.. God, I don't know.. A while, it seems that I always get placed in the middle of or near some big blow up. Now, when I say, "blow up" I mean more of an argument or fight, not an explosion. wink First it was my mom and dad, they fought a lot, and still do... Luckily he doesn't live with us anymore. I've argued with my bestie Becca, pissed off my boyfriend, (C'mon, I KNOW I've done it lol.) and argued with others at my - lame - school. At first, it didn't really bother me. It rolled off my shoulders like water off a dolphin. But today... My mom and grandmother got into an argument. I say a lot of things, quote many things, but nothing seems to get THROUGH my head. I don't know.. If things keep happening the way they are.. Its going to get really depressing. I mean, for now talking to Conner, listening to my emo music, and taking an hour long hot shower calms me down. But after an hour or so... The shower wears off, and I'm sad again. I try not to show it, (After all, I AM one of those girls who say she's fine when she's not wink Usually Conner's voice cheers me up, and by then I go to bed and sleep okay. Then I wake up and don't have time to mope and be depressed, and I know that it won't get me anywhere. Its usually just in the afternoons when I have free time. That's why video games are for the win. They take my mind off everything that's spinning my head right 'round, right 'round.. Oh well. I'll get over it eventually. I'm not one to sit and pity myself, after all. smile
Next off, hmm... Well, this I'm not really bitching about, just updating really. I got a new phone cover for my Voyager phone. Its blue and has bubbly dots on it. ;D And Conner - It DOES open fine, so hah. xD Oh, like two weeks ago I got this pretty silver necklace with a penguin charm on it. The penguin charm came with like 8 different interchangeable stones of different colors. biggrin I loves it lol. Hmm... My dad moved in with us a while ago, but he moved out again. He's now living in some apartment complex behind Home Depot. He signed us up for the Family Plan at the YMCA, and I planned to go, as I need more sun and exercise.. But I've gone once, lmao. Ohoh, also: I've gone through a bunch of different bands. I went from Hellogoodbye, to Watchout! There's Ghosts!, to what it is now - The Dreaming. The first two were more of a techno/rave music type, but The Dreaming is a hardcore rock band. biggrin Of course though, they all were emo music. I <3 emo music. smile
My birthday is coming up soon, fun! ..I guess, lol. I dunno, Christmas, Easter, my Birthday, all that stuff.. Still just another day to me. It all lost its shine and luster when I moved from Arizona.. I don't know. I acted more mature than I did, (And THAT'S saying something. I used to be more nutty than I am now. ;D) but got myself thrown into some uber mature peoples. xD Not that maturity is a bad thing... It comes in handy, that's for sure. But eh, I prefer to kid around, laugh and play, and act goofy when I can. Maturity can go ******** itself. biggrin ---- Oh, (I use "oh" a lot, huh?) and apparently I'm being drug to a dance on Friday. Its at 6, but its nothing special.. Just a jean-and shirt dance. No uniforms, thank mother friggin' God. They're killing me with having to wear a damned polo shirt, khaki pants, and tucking in my shirt. It still feels weird. >_>
Y'know.. I'm curious as to who all reads this stuff. Probably much of no one, as I'm pretty much a nobody here, and I don't tell many people about my journaling. More or less because they'll respond to it thinking I'm a drama queen. It just leaves me like, "Uhm, you didn't have to read it.. I was just expressing how I felt. Get off my case roflmao." People, eh? wink But I still loves all them peoples I know. smile
It snowed like.. 2 Sundays ago! It was cool, I suppose. I was inside all day 'cause it was ******** cold, and I hate the cold more than I hate having to wear a uniform, and that's saying something. We also had a BUNCH of tornado warnings - nothing actually happened to our county - that week before the snow. It was annoying more than anything else. That Friday we sat down in the school's basement for like 2 hours, on the hard cement floor. I hurt after that... Oh well. Its been pretty nice here lately. All the bad weather's moved past, I think. Its not too humid, nor to hot or cold. Perfect for jeans and a tank top. smile Unfortunately, I have only one and its in the wash. =/
I have a slight headache, but I don't feel like doing anything but writing.. Writing updates. biggrin Ugh, its 9:30, I'll have to go to bed soon... And school tomorrow, woo... *Wasn't that enthusiastic?* Nyah, school.. I suppose its not as bad as I make it sound. Unlike I was in North Carolina the whole rest of 7th grade, I'm not unsocial here. But my mom WAS wrong about, "People being a whole lot nicer here." 'Course, they ARE nice. But I mean... Eh. People in North Carolina didn't know how to behave. I mean, NO ONE did. Everywhere I turned I seemed to get caught up in some self-esteem-lowering situation. =/ Oh well. That self-esteem, (Which is probably at like.. 20..) will eventually get higher. I hope. Low self-esteem will get me no where, and Conner that reverberates through my head like 50 times a day lol, but try as I might, I can't help it much. >_<
Sigh whatevers. I'll live. After all, I'm far too afraid of pain to go off and commit suicide. That, believe me, is true 100%. I know myself, but I seem to not even know myself that well. I confuse myself more than I confuse others, I think.
Hmm... Random thought.The U.S.A. seems to, like, pressure individuals to choose a career before even high school now. I don't know what I like to do, or what I'm good at. Everywhere I look there seems to be someone that does it SO much, and I mean SO MUCH, better than I can. Now, obviously that's to be expected, as talent varies considerably, but I don't seem decent at anything.. I can't draw THAT well, can't write THAT well, am not THAT creative... I mean, I think the best thing I could do is solve people's problems. I seem to do okay at that, lol. Or something to do with math.. I'm good at math. Just as long as it doesn't include science. I HATE science.
Kks, my headache is getting worse, and I now have this weird pain in like the middle of my arm below the elbow. Dunno. Oh wells, gonna go take some pain meds and probably head to bed. Feedback is nice, I guess lol. Not like there's much to 'feedback' on, but eh.
Good night world, and sweet dreams. Lets try and wake up to a brighter morning tomorrow, eh?
 IceDragonEve · Wed Mar 11, 2009 @ 03:40am · 0 Comments |
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