Work and school is killing me. With only a week left of my courses, I need to figure out how to get less sleep and more work done. I need some kind of deep-seated inspiration of some sort. Either that or I just need to get laid… Haha.
Erik and I are no longer together. I’m pretty sure it’s for good this time.. I miss him, but I can never say I knew him entirely. Sure, he loved me. But sometimes that’s not always enough. I need a physical relationship, I need touch. I’m contemplating meeting this 27 year old guy, he says I need to “discover my sexuality.” Not sure if that means having some platonic, casual sex or if that just means blowing him. Either or, I’m completely scared. It’s something entirely new, and I need to take it face value. Anywho, I might be going on a date with Ib. Ib is this 19 year old, he’s cute but I’m not sure how he feels about me. Which is probably why it’s just a “maybe.” Maybe I might just be reading too much into it and he might actually like me, maybe not. I won’t get my hopes up. I just know he’s funny and cute and he’s got awesome hair and straight teeth.
I was told this personal journal thing might help me. I don’t know if I want to do this online or on an actual journal. I like the feeling of holding something with all of the pages that had been written on and crinkled with use. It’s nice, and I’m a very tactile-emotions kinda person. Probably why I hold on to so many things, so I can hold them and feel a rush of memories. It’s quite amazing.
I need to find my artistic side again. I really miss drawing for the sake of drawing. I MISS IT! Gah I can't express how much joy I get from making something beautiful, or something disgustingly beautiful haha. safjklgxdzhsvknebjswkvrhbg it's crazy.
· Sat Feb 25, 2012 @ 01:22am · 0 Comments