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A freaking car ran into our garage/carport thing. They broke one of the support beams and just left. JERKS. What if it fell down on my head when I came home from school? It was already drooping when I arrived. My dad fixed it, temporaraly.
I feel like something is missing in my life. It's like, one of the only people I can have a decent conversation with happens to be a kajillion miles away. It's not that I can't talk to anyone else, it's just that, well, comma whore time, I mean, I don't really know what to say anymore. I feel a bit lonely at times. I hardly ever see my friends thanks to school and I never know what to say around them now. I guess Brittany probably feels worse, considering that she lives so far away and never sees them anymore, but she is a lot bolder than I. I wanna feel nostalgic, or something.
I think winter cabin fever is starting to catch up with me, even though its gotten warmer. God I wish band camp would come sooner. I wanna sit outside with friends and talk, work, play, run, march, dance, fall, cry, laugh, laugh so hard that I cry, get slapped, slap back, tell a joke, kick something in frustration, learn about someone or something, have a party, ditch that party, roll down a hill, sleep over a friends house, act like a five year old, go to the mall, get stuck in the kiddie playground, relive my childhood, ride a bike, go on a road trip, have FUN.
I wanna do something with my life.
I wanna grow up to live in an apartment, either by myself or with my best friend. With cats and fish. One named Patch and Toast. The fish named Dingo and Lacy! I aspire to do something with history or music. The prospect of college scares me to the point that I feel like crying. Getting a job has to be almost as scary.
I'm afraid I won't be drum major next year. Everyone tells me that I have the best shot, that I have practically no competition. That makes me somewhat relieved, but mostly depressed. Our band is so small, so microscopic. I love everyone in there. It hurts to know that it has degenerated to the point where there may not even be a band in two years. I'll fail all my classes if I have to, and come back years later to be of all the help I can. It makes me frustrated that this one kid uses our EXTREMLY small band for mere training for his oh so superior drum corp, and his 'holier than thou' additude really irks me. My friend is going out with him and he treats her like a whore. She doesn't even see it and it hurts.
I miss my friends I harldy talk to anymore. Ollie, Steven, you guys are up near the top. I wish I could see you in real life.
Kevin Stoodt has to be one of my favorite people atm. He is just so gosh darn innocently adoorable!
I made a pact.
I think I need glasses, sometimes seeing stuff is hard.
I need to do my homework. I need to be more studious. I should stop procrastinating. I never have the motivation to do my schoolwork and it makes me feel lower than dirt sometimes.
WRITING THIS MAKES ME FEEL UPLIFTED! xd
On another note. APOLLOLOLOOOOO JUSTICE IS ADOOORABLE heart *squeaks*
 CrazyFlyingToast · Wed Mar 19, 2008 @ 12:28am · 0 Comments |
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