My friend just lent me a cd of Kung Pow : Enter the Fist. It's an old kung fu movie
edited with cyanide. So dubbing was added for extra joyness. Also, just one person dubbed all the voices. x]
It's randomness broke my brain with ejaculated biscuits. owo
<< http://www.kungpowmovie.com/ >>
--->> R A N D O M Q U O T E S <<---
( To be clear, Master Betty is indeed a guy. :U )
Master Betty: Hmmm. I'll kill him. I'll kill him dead. Like with, with a, rock or something. Like a, like a stone.
. . . . . >>
Master Betty: I have been called bad before. Many have said I do things that are not correct to do. I don't believe in talk such as this. I am nice man, with happy feelings. All of the time. First, a joke. What do you get when you cross an owl with a bungee chord? My a**. Nyah, haha, haha, haha, ENOUGH.
. . . . . >>
Chosen One: You have helped me reach the next level. And here I was starting to think you were just a sadistic psycho b***h.
. . . . . >>
Wimp Lo: I see the way you look at him. I'm a man, too, you know? I go pee pee standing up.
. . . . . >>
Master Tang: [Master Tang walking and singing] Hmm, chicken go cluck-cluck, cow go moo. Piggy go oink-oink, how bout you? Wanna be an animal just like you.
[breaks off and looks around]
Henchman: [in bushes] Cuckoo! Cuckoo!
Master Betty: Mmm, I'm just a birdie, too!
Master Tang: [resumes singing] Lemur go pff-pff, Ostrich go baah. Koala go *smacks lips*
. . . . . >>
Wimp Lo: Who is that? [indicates chosen]
Student: [mouths for a few seconds] I don't know.
. . . . . >>
Chosen One: Killing is wrong. And bad. There should be a new, stronger word for killing. Like badwrong, or badong. Yes, killing is badong. From this moment, I will stand for the opposite of killing: gnodab.
. . . . . >>
Chosen One: But that would just look stupid and leave my small, sensitive balls completely exposed.
. . . . . >>
Master Doe: I have a mortal wound.
Master Tang: Where? Where does it hurt?
Master Doe: Oh, pretty much around the big bloody spot.
. . . . . >>
Master Tang: [narrating] At that moment, the Chosen One learned a valuable lesson about iron claws... THEY HURT LIKE CRAP MAN.
. . . . . >>
Wimp Lo: I'm bleeding, making me the victor.
. . . . . >>
Master Tang: Pay no attention to Wimp Lo, we purposely trained him wrong... as a joke.
. . . . . >>
[Betty has thrown a claw at Master Tang, the action freezes]
Master Tang: [Voice Over] Ok, so here were my options. (a), quickly duck left, dodge the claw and take him out with a spinning back kick, or (b), take the claw in the face, roll on the ground and die.
[Action resumes, Tang gets hit with the claw]
Master Tang: Hmm, should have gone with (a).
. . . . . >>
Master Tang: [dying] Chosen One, do I look all right?
Chosen One: Yeah... sure.
Master Tang: On a scale of one to ten?
Chosen One: Hmmm, one.
Master Tang: Listen, and listen well. I really like the band N-Sync. My favorite member is Harpo. I think there's a Harpo. If not there should be. I will write their next hit, maybe 'A boom-boom chiky chiky boom-boom a boom-boom chiky chaka chaka cho cho.' By the way, you must beware of Betty's iron claw. They are sharp, and they hurt. And beware his song about big butts, he beats people up while he plays it!
. . . . . >>
Master Doe: Uhh, water, everywhere. All over me, I'm getting wet. I am falling, you are falling, we are falling! [shouts]
Master Doe: A whale!
. . . . . >>
Master Doe: Please, I'm dying, you must listen to me. I fear the Chosen One may give up hope, this must not happen. The creature in his tongue, although a little disturbing, possesses great supernatural powers. Without Tonguey, the Council is invincible, they will come to Betty's aid. Do you understand that?
Master Tang: [Shakes head up and down seeming to be agreeing] No. I don't understand.
