Sometimes I feel like everything is just a dream or everyone is just ghosts. Most things in my life had turns out the way I've hoped and wished that it didn't. I even thought that maybe if I wasn't born that my dad would still be here with me by my side just like before I was five.
He just two for away from me. Missing him sometimes hurt me. Even though he left, I still love him no matter what my mom says. I just wish he'd stop smoking just so that i'd be able to see him when I'm older. I lived in pain and agony for a while but I'll always be holding on no matter what it costs. I've always wished my dad being with me and having the perfect family.
I remember the day before he left. I was five and me and my brother went downstairs to the basement to see what they were talking about. But when they spotted us, we had to go back upstairs to sleep. Days before, I thought my dad said that we were moving, but I misunderstood him. What he really meant was that he was moving. I've seen my mom weeping that night and nights before that. The next day when I woke, my dad was gone. And the next and the next. I've always thought that when I went to sleep, my dad was home, and when I woke, he was at work. I took me a while to finally understand.
Sometimes when the subject of my dad comes up, I see the hatred in my mother's eyes and heard it when she says things.
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Jenneh Fabtastic's Journal
My journal is about what I like, how I feel, what I dislike, and what i like to do. Technically, it's like a diary-ish thing. Feel free to read if you'd like. I don't mind if you comment either.
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I may not get to see youu as often as I like. I may not get to hold youu in my arms all through the night. But deep in my heart I truly know, youu're the one that I love, and I can't let youu go~! ♥
