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It wasn't raining anymore. Vince found it hard to think about rain without picturing her red hair plastered to her skin as she stood out in the rain. Blue eyes and a laugh that got deeper as air left her lungs. It hurt to think of her. Before she'd come into his life Vince thought Mia was the only girl he would ever love. Morgan taught him different.
Before Vince had met Morgan he'd never found anyone who could put up with his temper or take and dish out just as many insults as he did. She was his other half. She completed him. When they made love it was fitting two pieces of a puzzle together, they were made for each other. She understood his need for the rush of racing and his love of fast cars. Morgan was one of those girls who didn't mind that her man's first love was racing and that Nos ran in his blood, she knew that it didn't matter there were tons of girls at the races because he was coming home to her at night.
Vince put his head on the steering wheel as he sat outside the cemetery gates. How was he going to do this? He hadn't gone to see her since the night he got the call. Gathering his resolve he grabbed the bouquet that was laying in the passenger seat along with the little black velvet box he'd left in the glove compartment. He was glad there was no one at the cemetery so he could have his moment alone to say goodbye to his girl.
"Hey baby."
The angel on her headstone seemed to be looking at him, like she knew what he was planning.
"I hope you can hear me, I have a lot to say to you right now."
He took a shuddering breath and released it slowly.
"I'm sorry I didn't get to say goodbye to you that night, I wasn't fast enough."
He sat down on her grave so he could say what he had to say.
"I was gonna propose when you got home, I have the ring right here."
He took another breath.
"You aren't gonna want to hear this but I don't think I can live without you, you were my world. I don't understand how God could take you from me."
Vince laid the flowers on the grave along with the little black velvet box.
"I didn't buy you a diamond because I knew you wanted that weird mystic topaz. Anything for you baby. I-"
It was getting harder to speak, the tears he was trying so hard to hold in were threatening to spill out.
"I can't do this without you, I just can't. I just wanted you to know I'll see you soon."
Vince wiped a tear from his cheek as he stood up and walked back to the car. He knew he couldn't act like anything was wrong in front of the family because they'd try to stop him, so he'd act normal during dinner then leave.
By the time Vince got home he knew she was waiting for him, he could feel her presence in the car. She was worried he would do something stupid, which he was.
"I know you don't want me to baby but I just can't do this anymore."
"Vince...”
He turned around to look behind him because he could've sworn Morgan just whispered into his ear.
"Morgan? Babe, was that you?"
"Come on V, don't be stupid."
"I know but I just don't want this without you."
He knew she had that look of annoyance, the one that gave her that line between her eyebrows that he used to try to kiss away.
"Don't look at me like that."
"I wouldn't have to if you would come to your senses."
Vince shook his head as he walked into his room, it still smelled like her, and he could swear she was sitting on the edge of the bed, though he could barely see her.
"This is the most sense I've made in a long time."
"V, come on sugar, please don't do this."
"I need to, I miss you so much."
"V, there are other ways to deal with me being gone."
"I don't want to feel like this anymore, you were it for me."
"You know that's not true."
"You aren't making this decision any easier."
He could just barely hear her scoffing at him, she was angry at what he was planning, but it was the only way he could see out of this.
"I swear if you do this, I'll make Dom stop you."
"He can't see or hear you baby."
"I'll make him sugar, try me."
"I promised you forever, remember?"
"Then keep your ******** promise and stay alive for me."
"That's not forever. Forever was you and me, alive, together. Not this."
He closed his eyes and he felt her arms wrap around him, even though he knew she really couldn't touch him. It was the ghost of her touch.
"Sugar if we were meant to have that forever, the paramedics would've got to me in time. It just wasn't for us this time around."
"I want that forever though."
"I want it too, but I can wait till we see each other again, can you do the same for me?"
"I'm not makin promises I don't intend to keep."
He felt her lips against his, her arms wrapped around his waist, her head on his shoulder.
"I love you. I'll wait for you."
"I love you too. I'll see you on the other side."
Her arms were suddenly gone but he knew she hadn't left yet.
"Baby? When I do it, will you- will you hold my hand?"
For a moment he didn't hear anything and he thought she was gone. But as he turned to walk out of the room he felt her breath on his neck.
"Always"
He pretended everything was alright at dinner. Talking and laughing at the stories of everyone's days, even smiling when someone told him he looked better. He told everyone he was going for a drive and that'd he'd be back later but as he grabbed his keys he had a sudden moment of doubt. What if it didn't work, was he really going to do this, how would everyone cope with losing two family members so close together? He stood there for a moment dazed and confused before he shook his head and continued on to his car.
Morgan was in the front seat waiting for him.
"I don't suppose I could talk you out of this and fixing your brake line."
"Not this time baby, I'm coming for you."
"I really wish you wouldn't do this."
"I know."
The car was silent except for the sound of Morgan's favorite song drifting out of the speakers. Vince's foot slowly descended to the floor as he hit the highway. This late in the evening there was practically no one on the road so there was no risk of him hitting anyone.
"Hold my hand?"
As the speedometer climbed higher and higher Vince hit the Nos buttons on his steering wheel. Morgan's ghostly hand superimposed itself onto his as he careened into the center divider. The last thing he heard before the impact was Morgan's tearful voice whispering in his ear
"I said always and I meant it. I'm waiting. I love you."
"Love you too baby."
.............................................................................................
The breath escaped her lungs in a terrified scream.
"Morgan? Baby what's wrong?"
Vince's voice came out of the darkness behind her. She turned her head in his direction and flung herself at him.
"Oh god, oh god it was horrible."
"What? What happened?"
"I was having a dream. I was dead and you'd decided you were going to kill yourself to be with me but I was trying to talk you out of it."
"And did you?"
"No, you wouldn't listen to me, so I held your hand when you crashed your car."
Vince cradled Morgan in his arms kissing her forehead as he did so.
"It was just a dream, I'm still here, you're still here, we're okay."
Morgan just nodded and after awhile drifted back to sleep cradled in her lover's arms. But everything wasn't okay. Late the next night, Vince got a call telling him his girlfriend was dead. Three weeks later, he followed her into oblivion.
 Lady Lucinda Poison · Thu Feb 11, 2010 @ 08:56am · 0 Comments |
