Nuu~ I was starting to write a story and I had a couple of ideas for it but now that I need them, I can't find them. I don't remember whom it was I relayed them too! I don't even remember which user I was on! T.T Anyways, my mother is still in Arkansas caring for my Grandma. I miss her. Me and my dad just don't get along. He's...well, disgusting, I suppose. Then again, I know for a fact I'm over reacting. Mum doesn't get back till the fifth though a whole extra week then she said the first time. My sleeping pattern is all messed up too. I keep waking up between the times of 7 and 9! Of course, I fall directly back to sleep but still. I've never done that before. That and my right leg keeps...well not going numb persay, but it feels odd and makes it hard for me to fall asleep in the first place. I fall asleep usually around four or so and get up around two...something like that anyways.
My dad is going to Seattle for the weekend though and I'll be left at home alone. Yay! ^_^ I like being alone. I can play my music as loud as I want and do a bunch of embarrassing things that I'd never to around people...like dance. Or well...I call it dancing anyways. I really need to start walking though before I get way to fat. Then again, when you spend 24hrs sleeping and at the computer, it's bound to happen. God, I have no life.
I should get a job but I don't like any of the no-experience jobs. I don't do well with people either. I want to start out in an office or something, not making burgers or bagging groceries. I suppose I might do ok as a stocker...if I had any strength. Which I don't by the way.
I just feel kind of out of place in this world. I always have. I've looked back in some of my old journals (wrote in them maybe three times a year.) They all pretty much say the same thing. I'm lonely. I don't think there's really a happy thought in there. There was once where I wished on a star for this guy to ask me out and he did but then later in that entry I decided that it wasn't a good thing. I think that the only reason I was granted that wish was to teach me a lesson, that good things don't come to you so easily. I should've known. Damn childlike naivete.
Then again, perhaps my life wouldn't be so bad if I just pulled my head out of the clouds. I expect way to much of things...like boys. I'm not going to get that tall dark mysterious guy I want so why do I keep looking? I'm just going to have to deal with the nerdy ugly guys. They never bothered me before, why now? Did you know I've only had one and a half boyfriends in the past five years? I say half because I only asked the kid out on a dare...didn't even know his name at the time. It was at one of my volleyball games in eight grade. We only saw eachother like two times after that and then I think we were both avoiding eachother. I saw him a couple times this year (I'm a junior now) and he's still as cute as ever. He doesn't even know who I am. Not my name, nothing. I also dated a guy about halfway through my junior year too. About three days and then I decided that he was too touchy. I suppose he wasn't abnormally touchy. I just hate physical contact. What's funny is both were named Josh. One, Josh Thomspon, the other, Josh Payton. Funny, as a kid it was always Nick. Or at least, I was always crushing on a Nick. Dated three I think. Only one I didn't...he was too popular I suppose. Although, at that time, I was part prep, thanks to Tracy. Now they're all gone... I've found no new crushes, no guys 'worthy' of my affection.
There was a guy at the shopette yesterday, he was quite nice looking and didn't seem much older then me. Of course, then he went and bought cigs...tsk. That just puts attractivness down the drain. Well enough blabbering. I really need to finish a story. I won't, but I need to.
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Current Quest: Brown Work Harness: 600/3050
I am The Wandering Sales Pilgrim as said by Vadokins.