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In another post, I’ll explain about my day but right now I’ll write down the most shocking thing about today.

Raul confessed to me.
…and tried to kiss me.

How it went down? Well we were being our normal idiotic self and I told Raul to stay after school for Val’s group photo gift. So we chatted and he started saying he had a crush on a senior. That didn’t strike me as odd.

…But soon he began saying that I “sorta” knew who his crush was and that she was in XC. Huh. He started saying how he wanted to confess but would regret it if he did…but also would regret it if he didn’t. I told him that he should totally confess. He said no and that I wouldn’t be pleased.

Then I began to find it odd. I thought he may like me. He certainly hinted it. He said he’d confess to her today and I simply dropped the topic.

Soon he told me that the person was called “Sandra”. Me being a dumbass, I didn’t realize that there was no damn Sandra in the XC team. But he said he got a text from her and acted all happy so I dropped it. He said that he was suppose to meet her at the library and told me to come along to see her. I went and so did Jhay but no one was there. I felt bad that maybe she stood him up and once again we decended down the stairs.

Later Jhay was busy and Raul showed me a text from a Sandra that said “meet me in the library”. He said he’ll show me her and so I followed him upstairs. He was all red and looked nervous which I found adorable and told him that I wanted to take a picture, for memories. By this time, I didn’t suspect squat. So I took a oicture and right before we went upstairs, he stopped and said he’d show me a picture of his crush. I found it odd since he was going up to meet her but didn’t say anything. After searching through his ipod for a photo of her, he showed me a picture of me as he said, “This is her.”

…My response: “Oh it’s meeee……..” My voice died as it dawned on me. I was seriously surprised. I panicked and said that I wasn’t ready for a relationship and that I could respond to his feelings. I told him I didn’t know how to respond. And during that time, he tried MULTIPLE times to kiss me despite my resistance. I looked away and pulled away but what surprised me was that he’d actually corner me and try again to kiss me. It was so…awkward…and slightly scary. And throughout that entire time, I felt nervous, awkward, and couldn’t stop thinking that “No. I can’t allow this….I’m currently dating Kristian…” UGH. Raul also told me that he apparently started crushing on me over summer vacation which was weird since I didn’t see nor talk to him all summer.

Eventually, I hugged him and managed to descend down the library stairs. My heart ached for him for I felt bad rejecting him but…I had no choice. I hate that this is what became of our friendship. It was so awkward after that but I told him that I’d support him with any other girl. We hugged and then said goodbye since he had to leave.

…And we hung out again that day because of Val’s bday gift shopping. But with Edwin and Jhay.